SIDEBAR
»
S
I
D
E
B
A
R
«
The NFC South – Tradition and Excellence
Jul 24th, 2008 by Ice Cream Jonsey

Greg from Atlanta writes:
How are the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looking for this year?

Here’s the great thing about the NFC South – it has the least amount of “tradition” of any division in any of the four major sports, except that hockey one with Atlanta, Carolina and Washington. I would like to tell you a quick story about tradition, but it involves Boston-bashing, of which I am trying to do LESS. I know many wonderful people in the Boston area and if I get on the bandwagon of hating sports fans in that area, I am going to lose real friends. So none of that!

But anyway, I was on a bus back from Bills-Saints right before 9/11 and this worthless chowd starts giving me shit about the Blue Jays and their lack of tradition. He was lamenting how they won the World Series twice and, at the time, the Red Sox hadn’t in like 8,000 years. “No tradition,” he hissed.

Now, he was a terrible sports fan (Stieb, Barfield, Bell, Cox, Jimy, Carter, Alomar, etc.) but it shocked me that people actually care about that sort of thing. We shouldn’t! Teams shouldn’t get advantages because they were good 50 years ago, and that’s why, even though the NFC South is pretty terrible, we do manage to dump a decent team into the mix each season. In fact, I’d bet that the NFC South has had the least amount of time elapse since all 4 teams made it to the Championship game of their respective conference. I am not going to look it up, but the last one to make it was Tampa Bay in 2002: Bills/Browns/Texans/Chiefs haven’t been there recently in the AFC, and Cowboys/Lions/Niners in the NFC. I’m sure there were others, but honestly, I think about horrible sports teams enough in my free time, I’m trying to keep the blog more professional.

So with that in mind, I can answer the question about the chances of the Bucs, Falcons, Panthers and Saints by saying anything we think we know is completely irrelevant! I think Atlanta will win the division, and here is why:

– How many drives were killed by a combination of Vick and Harrington and the awful hands of Falcons’ receivers? I looked it up, and 872 drives were negatively affected by the QBs not being able to pass and the receivers not being able to catch, skills which help both positions. No wonder they run the hell out of the ball, usually. Chris Redman was the best pure quarterback they had in ages. But because of the worst-to-first tendencies in the NFL, I am convinced that Matt Ryan will be a star.

— Last year they had a clearly disinterested coach, and while I don’t think it’s necessary to go to bed at 3:00 AM and wake up in your office at 5:12 AM, having a guy who seems somewhat happier to be there in Mike Smith is going to make a clear difference.

— I have gleefully pointed to the Saints’ schedule as the worst one in franchise history (worst, as in, contains the most terrible teams) but the Falcons benefit as well. Detroit, KC, Chicago, Oakland, and St. Louis. The Falcons suffer because they can’t play the Falcons twice, but those are otherwise five games I would actually favor them in to start the season. Anything can happen in a division game, so let’s say they split – 8-8 is very possible without having made a ridiculous argument yet.

— There should be an important statistical analysis of the receivers, linemen, staff and playbook of the Falcons inserted here. Unfortunately, there’s no such thing as a good PECOTA tool for football, so none of it matters. A prediction supported by my nonsense has just as much chance as ringing true as one with actual numbers behind it.

So that’s what I feel about the division. On paper, I think the Saints have the most talent, due to the fact that they brought in Shockey, Vilma, Sedrick Ellis and Randall GAY, but they also have the only coach capable of losing games on his own in the division. (I will give Mike Smith the benefit of the doubt here, it’s quite possible I’m wrong and he tries to ice a victory by having a beleaguered halfback attempt a reverse with the WR with the worst hands in the league, and… okay, no, that’s not possible.) The Bucs have the best coach, but I can’t believe that John Fox is on the hot seat. Well, what can you say, it is what it is.

Everything is up for grabs, but my early prediction is that whoever wins the division is playing for the right to go to the Super Bowl. The NFC South will have played the most worst teams, probably suffered the least amount of injuries and had the most pressure on their coaches. We may see one good team and three squads of abortion that are horrible enough that Fref Phelps starts protesting outside the stadia, but still.

»  Substance:WordPress   »  Style:Ahren Ahimsa