Braid Review

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 4:29 pm

You say the people who say Braid is good are judging it politically. I say YOU sir are the one who is doing that thing that you say the other peoples is doing!

YOU, sir!!!!

I don't know what Roody's problem is, though.

ICJ will have to come in and SOLVE this for us, just like he always does.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 5:09 pm

Well of course I'm doing that. How else can you respond to that initial judgment without being wrapped up in their ontology? Smeared lamb's blood on doorways, dead birds in mail boxes? No thanks, I don't have the time.

I think it's an okay game, I enjoyed parts of it, also it lacked an overall cohesive effort and tried very little to entice a player who's actually been in a museum and seen paintings before to become involved in the game.

Though when you've got a horde of people who are just all in constant headrush about this game you can't simply snap them out of it by giving your honest opinion of the game and walking away.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 6:22 pm

Well, okay, but Space Giraffe still sucks ass.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 7:14 pm

Well yeah, no shit.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 8:28 pm

Worm wrote:Does being totally fucking faced take it's power from the plane of negative energy?

No.

CH5OH hails from, duh, the Elemental Plane Of Booze.

Bruce

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:32 am

You're all wrong about Space Giraffe. It's basically because you're both so goddamn happy to no longer invest any effort into a fucking video game, that anything that demands something of you "sucks."

My hand went numb the last time I played Tempest for an hour. Having several stand-up games in my possession, I am of course a better person than the two of you, but it also trained me for the physiological demands that SOME games require. Games like Space Giraffe. But don't let me get in the way of your whining, you disgusting tit-clutchers.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:47 am

Can you tell the difference?

"Let's update Tempest for the modern age!" == GOOD IDEA

"Let's update Tempest for the modern age, then throw up as much psychedelic, kaleidescopic nonsense up on the screen to obscure gameplay and hope that some people interpret this as "depth" rather than "garbage"!" == BAD IDEA

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:50 am

Right. It makes the audio more important, and demands that the player sit closer to the screen.

I do not deny that it needs a spinner - the straight analog control of the 360 is horrrRRRrrrrRRribuh for this kind of game.

It's kind of sad to see you as such a graphics whore in your old age. Obscure graphics are what games looked like back in the 80s.

And I am sorry, but the goddamn FACE that appears on the tutorial level is more chilling than most horror games.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:28 am

There's no convincing you now, in the blush of your first few nights together. Hopefully in time you will realize she's just a cheap whore, and that you deserve better.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:45 am

Oh yeah? Maybe I don't put limits on love just because of what all my friends say, or because she gave it up a little quickly, or because she wears a lot of makeup. Maybe I even prefer that. What will you say then, Benjamin? What then will you say if I tell you I am happy?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:32 pm

The irony is pretty fucking DELICIOUS that your front-page article complains about how the new graphics in Warlords are a cramped mess, and then as if that wasn't enough, follow it up with this doozy:

complete fucking hypocrite wrote: Because we’re all used to the crisp and clear graphics of regular Warlords, anything else that gums up the works is not necessary.

Yeah! It's totally not necessary to screw around with classic games that featured crisp, clear graphics! TOTALLY NOT NECESSARY!!!!!!

I'm telling you, the irony?

DELICIOUS!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:00 pm

pinback wrote:The irony is pretty fucking DELICIOUS that your front-page article complains about how the new graphics in Warlords are a cramped mess, and then as if that wasn't enough, follow it up with this doozy:

complete fucking hypocrite wrote: Because we’re all used to the crisp and clear graphics of regular Warlords, anything else that gums up the works is not necessary.
Yeah! It's totally not necessary to screw around with classic games that featured crisp, clear graphics! TOTALLY NOT NECESSARY!!!!!!

I'm telling you, the irony?

DELICIOUS!

I thought you would appreciate that. That being said, maybe my feelings for Space Giraffe aren't quite logical? Maybe the more my friends and acquaintances say I should give up and kick it to the curb, the harder I hold on? Perhaps I miss it, a lot, even though other games on the system are perfectly fine and I like them and they are probably better for me in a purely objective sense.

Do you know my history with Tempest, Ben? My history with Llamatron, which was made by the same guy who made Space Giraffe? Perhaps my history with Tempest 2000? I love them, Ben. I loved them with every ounce of my heart and my soul. And I gave... ohhh did I give. Everything I had. When I brought home my Tempest, I was pulled over by a cop because Tempest covered up the license plate that was hastily stuck onto the rear window of the truck I used to transport it. So beautiful. So perfect. Such amazing lines and - if vectors were capable of it - curves.

But things evolve. And the Tempest I loved all those years ago has evolved into Space Giraffe.

Am I.... am I supposed to love it -- all these games -- now, less? Because Space Giraffe is unable to give as completely and totally and without reservation as its ancestors of a simpler time? Maybe I could invest more. Maybe it needs me more than any other player, because I am the one player on the planet who is capable of reaching out and giving it ... more.

Maybe Space Giraffe and I are perfect for each other. And even though it and I can accept our differences, it doesn't mean that there still isn't plenty of regret.

And maybe now, apart, our lives will be empt-- wait, shit, I still have it on a memory card, to play with whenever I want, never mind!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:04 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:But things evolve. And the Tempest I loved all those years ago has evolved into Space Giraffe.

It's terrible.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:14 pm

You can say it a hundred times. If I relied on my friends telling me what games I should and shouldn't love, I'd have spent the last few years playing Madden and Halo.

It's... it's okay. I'll love enough for the both of us for a little while. Kay? Kay?? SINGLE FOOTPRINTS WHERE *I* CARRIED *YOU*?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:17 pm

Will you buy it for me?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:39 pm

I will buy Space Giraffe for you, yes.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 2:43 pm

I am buying it because I feel bad having gone "personal" up above in this thread, and nobody giving it back to me.

I'd like to live in a world without name-calling. But I'll settle for spending five dollars so you can call Space Giraffe.... "great."