Braid Review

[Worm]

Braid is probably very special to people who don't care that much about video games. Braid won't be that special if you chew these things up and spit them out, Braid isn't going to be special to anyone who takes these things seriously.

Not to say it isn't fun, though it's worth 10 bucks at best and I'd price it more around five bucks because it was only made by two guys. If they wanted to quit their day jobs they should have made something more substantial.

What does it mean that the game isn't substantial? Well there are five puzzles, of twelve pieces each, each puzzle piece is gotten by solving a puzzle. So that's 60puzzles, and I got stuck only on one. So that's basically 59/60th that missed the essential point of a puzzle game(to stump) for me. Braid's puzzles are more reminiscent of brain age than anything else.

It took me three hours to beat which makes it fall half short of a major motion picture in utils. Some would say this is because I'm a genius though Braid is just about as difficult as Portal, players only might get stuck because it cycles through new things so quickly where Portal was more gradual.

The mechanics could have been explored further and the game could have been fleshed out. However it seems like they just ran out of oil paint. Or maybe they're just smarter than I am and realized you don't need to be ambitious with gameplay when you can be pretentious.

What does it mean that the game is pretentious? The various retro nods, like anyone but an idiot would care. The little books and puzzles that dole out story to you. The epilogue which has you puzzling for more drops of enlightenment. The self-assurance, swagger, and importance with which the game operates.

No doubt the people involved in this game decided it was a great game before they even knew what it was going to be about, and they only convinced themselves more through the development process. The game has a messiah complex, fitting that the developer is a fan of System Shock 2, which died for all our indie sins.

The presentation is fantastic, and if future games have that kind of presentation I'll be happy, though I've never given a shit about that, and why should I? I want to analyze the mechanics.

The mechanics feel like they came out of a very clever flash game, nothing incredibly complex, and definitely nothing you'd expect out of honest to god object oriented compiled code. The mechanics never overlap, which is a massive waste of potential. If you want to say the mechanics would be bad overlapped, then they're not that great of mechanics!

The first level doesn't feature any mechanics other than a Prince of Persia rewind. It features one totally obtuse puzzle that everyone hates and a bunch of super easy puzzles. This signifies the demo of the game and is why no one but people who decided to buy it before they played the demo will buy it.

The second features items that are unaffected by your rewind mechanic, which is probably the highlight of the game. It's the only mechanic that is overlapped in future levels and probably signifies when the game actually begins.

The third mechanic makes time only move forward as you move forward and makes it move backward when you move backward. This is probably the most interesting mechanic and the most interesting level. This is where I got stuck(once).

The fourth level introduces a shadow version of your character which will do what ever you did after you rewound. So basically all the puzzles require two people working in some kind of unison (usually not even) and are pretty much all self evident. The mechanic isn't used in very interesting ways and it was a pretty easy level.

The fifth level introduces a ring which will slow down time where you drop it. This ring isn't an item you gain, even though the game sure makes it seem that way. It's just another gimmick, and is used pretty well. However since all the puzzles are based around slowing down some thing they fall under the curse of the shadow level and become pretty fucking apparent.

There's an end level, but the puzzles are pretty basic, and the final sequences (probably the most surprising part of the game) is a platforming sequence and really not that good as far as platforming goes.

Then that's it. If you were looking for meaning, some story, or a GAMES AS ART argument, there you go. If you were looking to knock another off your list in your endless search for fun, well Braid really wasn't intended for you but you'll probably enjoy it anyway.

[pinback]

Braid is probably very special to people who don't care that much about video games.

So are you.

IDIOT!!!!!!!!

[Worm]

I'm very special to someone who doesn't care much about video games?

maggot!!!!!!!!

[pinback]

SUCK MY PISSHOLE, CUNTFACE!!!!

[Worm]

IS DEMANDING A BLOWJOB OVER THE INTERNET SUPPOSED TO UNFAG YOU?

[pinback]

WELCOME TO DOUCHEVILLE!!

POPULATION:

[Worm]

You know what? Fuck you, hold on a second.

[Worm]

Well I was roped into the game as some kind of paternalistic bullshit. Then pinner pleaded and reasoned with me to see the value and meaning in the ending, as more paternalistic bullshit.

It's a fucking total art-game and if we just evaluate it as a game (which we can't cuz we need validation from the new york times!) it's absolutely mediocre. That's it, it's amusing, it's cute, it's whatever.

People who have the sick urge to foist meaning everywhere are gonna love the game, because it's just that, a launch pad for ego. Just some little launch board for shitty theories and explanations. The game only has a slightly motivating narrative at the very end, and could have done something similar throughout the game.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

You should continue to just start randomly screaming about the game for the next two weeks and then go GOD when the people you are screaming at won't shut up about the game.

[Worm]

You know what? I think I will!

This is reciprocation. I am reciprocation. It's what you ask for, it's what you get.

At least you're not an idiot like pinner and only aren't shitting all over the game out of some kind of indie solidarity. Do you promise do use the photoshop watercolor filter on that next game?

EDIT: Another fifteen bucks would buy a better review about this game.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

No the next one is probably a FoD sequel, so it's back to Photoshop -> Dark Strokes

[Worm]

Oh yeah, let's get negative.

[bruce]

You want NEGATIVE, you TURD-BURGLING SPERM-BURPING GUTTER-SLUT?

You can't hold a FUCKING CANDLE to MISTER ROBB FUCKING SHERWIN, whose LAST game was ALL ABOUT CREATURES WHO DRAW THEIR NECROTICALLY DRIFTING ENERGY from...where? The NEGATIVE FUCKING ENERGY PLANE, THAT'S WHERE.

As Diamanda Galas says, "You know what? Let's just fuck him with that tire iron!"

TAKE HIM OUT TO THE RANCH AND LET THE CROWS HAVE HIM!

Bruce

[Worm]

I never knew that about D&D undead!

[bruce]

WELL NOW YOU DO!

Glad to be of service, and SUCK MY BALLS!

Also, I just noticed that Diamanda Galas and John Paul Jones' "Baby's Insane" is pretty much the same song as Tom Waits's "Falling Down."

No fucking clue what to make of that other than I OUGHT TO LAY OFF THE BOOZE.

The roaches are flying while she sleeps at night
Scream over her bed "help us find some light"
It stinks of Velveeta, one is under her tongue
Dreaming of you with a hand on her gun.

Bruce

[Worm]

Does being totally fucking faced take it's power from the plane of negative energy? That would make sense.

I think what really gets me about the game is all the people throwing up their hands, just so satisfied with the piece of gaming perfection they've found in a dusty crate of vinyls.

All the while unwitting that lots of games have been better than this, and will continue to be. I guess pinner likes it because it can be foisted on to his string of failed websites (which great, if tim chopped off someone's head I'd be all about it too).

Roody was absolutely right about this. You can't foist a medium into art by rolling up your fucking sleeves, and the first game to be art sure as hell will be more technically strong that fucking Braid. Fuck that pleb shit.

EDIT: CRUSH for the PSP is a better puzzle game, so is Metal Gear Solid VR missions.

EDIT: and Immortal Defense represents a much fuller effort as far as art games go.

EDIT: Also the train bridge game and mountain bike game with the apples, both much better puzzle games.

[pinback]

EDIT: Also the train bridge game and mountain bike game with the apples, both much better puzzle games.

FUCKING ELMA IS NOT A FUCKING PUZZLE GAME.

It's fantastic, yes. But it's, check it:

NOT
A
FUCKING
PUZZLE
G
A
M
E

And PONTIFEX is also AWESOME, and you may have a POINT, but I still think it's more of a PHYSICS game than a

FUCKING
PUZZLE
G
A
M
E
.
.
.
..
.
....
.


..
.




.















.

[Worm]

So you can only find fault in my very last edit at 11 PM last night? Nice job Pinner! I concede ELMA.

Metal Gear Solid VR missions is still a better puzzle game, CRUSH is still a better puzzle game(boulderdash too now that I think about it), and Immortal Defense still displays a better conveying of a message and story.

Why can I so easily pick out a few puzzles games that are better than Braid? Well, I play more puzzle games(which is only like five, not counting online games) than most people. Everyone esteeming this game probably has just played Portal, and this game is pretty similar to it.

The genre of the game was cherry picked to offer the least possible resistance, making a platformer like Mario (which he never achieves even when he wants it to be a platformer) would require much more effort, which is something this game is pretty obviously devoid of.

The story really does just fall flat, even if you compare it to retro/arcade stories. Even SMB personalized your enemy, even Donkey Kong(and Ghosts and Goblins) showed you losing your princess. Braid gives you some books, and barely approaches the level of narrative featured in most games for a minute at the end of the game, and then it goes right back to the books.

It's designed to be important, it was was designed to be analyzed. That's why the books are so important, an abstract story makes the game seem to have more weight. This is why it's getting a pass, it's entirely a social agreement. Important blogger breaks off to make a game, rubs the right elbows, throws the right parties, and pow a mediocre game is on the lips of self-styled "gamers".

Regardless of what Kotaku thinks, what the books really do is make the game seem empty and dead. This might be part of the message, but it hurts the game.

Either people following it went into "daddy stop" levels of denial, or they really don't care that the story, puzzling, length, and over all effort are mediocre as long as they have a well presented prolific game that they can talk about. So, just wait until Braid comes out on a form you can put on your coffee table.

[pinback]

Hey Worm, you know what else is mediocre and overrated???

[Worm]

Darwinia