I believe I suffered from "MMR de-- what did they call it... "MMR decay" or some shit.
"MMR" is the secret number that determines what league you're in, and how good it thinks you really are. When I stopped playing, my "MMR" was solidly in Gold. However, then I stopped playing because drinking vodka was much easier and I was in Masters.
So I guess in between then and now, my MMR has "decayed" to the point where they figure I'm back in Bronze.
Well, it's time to BUST DAT MYTH, Blizzard!
Probably tomorrow, though.
When you need my help because I'm ruining everything, don't look at me.