2012 NFL Thread: There's 31 Teams and The New Orleans Saints

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:10 pm

I thought I'd start a thread to list all the moronic, puddle-faced shit he's done.

The NFL used to start things on Sunday. This was good! People have Sunday off.

Well.... a few years back they realized there was more money to be made if they started it on a THURSDAY. And they could have the previous year's Super Bowl winner play some team at home. Now, this is stupid and unfair because there's already a home field advantage in football. Why put some team up against the previous winner in Prime Time where the home advantage is magnified? The NFL went ahead and did it. No visiting team has ever won that Thursday season opener.

Goodell managed to do something even fucking stupider for this year. He put the game on a WEDNESDAY.

It's long been amusing to see the retarded fucks that open movies go from a Friday night opener to a Thursday to a Wednesday to a Tuesday. The "opening weekend" on some fims is now six days long. At least in that case, people are able to see the movies on the days inbetween. The NFL commish, a retarded dickthrower named Roger Goodell, kinda heard about what they do in movies, he sorta heard that they open earlier than Thursday night... fuck it! Fuck it. Let's start the season off with Cowboys and Giants on WEDNESDAY.

Let me tell you why this is bad.

I'm in two fantasy football leagues. So are millions of other people. People in 2012 simply can't all "meet on a night" and draft teams at once. What is more common is the "offline" draft, or the long draft. So for a week and a half people have been making picks when can.

GOODELL, YOU maggot, WE'RE NOT DONE YET. You can't just move the fucking start of the season up a day, you stupid piece of filth. The NFL makes millions of bucks off fantasy football. They produce countless stupid commercials promoting it. They have decided, for literally no reason, to slice a day off offline drafts.

Oh, sure, Obama is going to make "a speech" Thursday. Who gives a shit? Anyone who gives a fuck will find a way to watch both. Move the start of the fucking season to Friday, then.

Roger Goodell has been the worst person in America since he got this job. He's way in over his head, and, amazingly, he is getting worse at running football, not better. What person that isn't either handicapped or running from the law fails to get BETTER at their job instead of worse as the years go by?

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Sat Sep 08, 2012 4:25 am

TL;DR

Go Bills!!

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:10 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:I'm in two fantasy football leagues. So are millions of other people. People in 2012 simply can't all "meet on a night" and draft teams at once. What is more common is the "offline" draft, or the long draft. So for a week and a half people have been making picks when can.

You're involved in gaming, guys bet on outcome or put down money on best team group, and they win from pool, right? The NFL hates football betting (absolutely despise Vegas sportsbooks: legal, can't stop it), & NFL gets no $ from Fantasy Football Leagues, you expect Goodell, anyone in NFL be sensitive to your - and everyone else's - feelings when NFL doesn't get cut of the money in FFL?
I'll ask: why should NFL care about FFL participants concerns? Post Office cares a great deal about, loves stamp collectors and treats them wonderfully; millions of stamps philatelists buy for their collection is pure profit to the USPS.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:34 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:The NFL makes millions of bucks off fantasy football.

Missed this in last post. Really? How? In what way do they make 'millions' from FFL? How do they get a cut of what is bet in what is technically a form of illegal gambling? (And as I pointed out above, the NFL hates football gambling, esp. since they don't get a cut).

But inform me, I'd like to know, in what way and how does the NFL make money - and specifically millions as you claim - from people's FFL teams? They sell gaming kits? Or what?

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sat Sep 08, 2012 10:37 am

Tdarcos wrote:I'd like to know, in what way and how does the NFL make money - and specifically millions as you claim - from people's FFL teams? They sell gaming kits?

Missed giving an example in previous item, TSR makes money off Dungeons and Dragons players by selling D&D kits. That's an example I'd mean of gaming kits or something related than an NFL team could sell.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Sep 08, 2012 1:42 pm

Tdarcos wrote: How do they get a cut of what is bet in what is technically a form of illegal gambling? (And as I pointed out above, the NFL hates football gambling, esp. since they don't get a cut).

The NFL is cool with Vegas gambling. Look at it this way:

- I follow the Saints. I'll watch the Saints play. I'll consume the ads and add to the TV ratings.

- If I bet on the Dickwavers vs the Handcrotch even though I have no rooting interest, I will watch. A game I ordinarily wouldn't care about, I'll be a captive audience. Gambling encourages hundreds of thousands of people to watch games they'd otherwise not care about.

Each week an injury report is released for each team. The reason this is done is really only to let gamblers know who will and will not be playing, so they can adjust their bets to taste.

But inform me, I'd like to know, in what way and how does the NFL make money - and specifically millions as you claim - from people's FFL teams? They sell gaming kits? Or what?

Not kits as much as how they license the use of their brand, logos and team names to ESPN, Yahoo, CBS, and countless others. They have a fantasy league themselves on NFL.com.

I use CBS, and I think my leagues cost $140 for the entire year. (So split 12 ways that is not too bad.) Some of that goes back to the NFL.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:39 am

Week one thoughts:

1) I CAN NOT FUCKING BELIEVE BRADSHAW IS STILL DOING HIGHLIGHTS ON FOX.

HE CAN NOT FUCKING!!!!!!! SPEAK ENGLIGH!

I... Jesus fucking Christ. Does he have to die before they get a replacement for him?

2) I don't know why, but I grabbed someone from a Mike Shanahan-led backfield. Evan Royster, his name is. Well, he's gotten two carries so far, and the guy Shanahan took in the sixth round has the majority of carries. Why the fuck do I do this? Every three years I dip my dick into this mess and I end up paying for it, like a tranny gone bad.

3) I am in a Suicide Pool. I have never won a Suicide Pool game. Last year I took the Kyle Orton-backed Broncos over the Raiders. Overthinking it way too much, I took the Patriots in week one. Do the Patriots ever lose in week one? It seems like they did once, in Buffalo, a hundred years ago.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 1:34 pm

Other thoughts:

Tony Siragusa was the "end zone" reporter for this game. He started off EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE with, "I tell you what." The dipshits on the biggest Denver radio sports station introduced me to this. It is the biggest fucking non-starter for a sentence. Just say what you want to say, asshole.

Once you notice it, you can't not notice it. I TELL YOU WHAT!

God, Siragusa is fucking unlistenable.

The other comment I wanted to make is that Drew Brees was clearly off his game. Our shitty fucking GM, Mickey Loomis, decided to play hardball with the guy. Asshole, you were going to be suspended and so was your coach. You don't have the right to play harfball when a future Hall of Famer. Sure enough, Brees held out until the last minute and he looked like shit today.

Here is why it is moronic to wait for the inevitable large contract: Brees got some insane amount of money and an insanely large signing bonus. He is -- as would any of us -- then be *distracted* by that amount of money. He is going to buy another Jimmy John's. He's going to invest. He's got a thousand things he needs and wants to do with the money. If Loomis had just given it to him in the off-season (or negotiated this deal two years ago) Brees would had the entire off-season to do the things rich people do with their money.

Playing hardball and extending the negotiations to the final day was a stupid, short-sighted decision and it's going to have negative results on the field.

One man can coach the New Orleans Saints, but honestly, our general manager is not particularly special.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 1:35 pm

That should be, "Only" one man can coach the Saints. Edit function please.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:03 pm

The NFL loves Vegas gambling, and literally all forms of gambling on its product. The reason is:

The NFL would not exist without gambling. That is, in a very big way, the entire point of the league.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:26 pm

Tracy Porter intercepted Ben Roethlisberger and took it in for a touchdown tonight. You may recall him icing both the Saints/Vikings NFC Championship game in 2009, and the 2009 Super Bowl.

Why would the Saints ever let the best clutch cornerback in the NFL go?!?! Well, GM Mickey Loomis had to play stupid, fucking retarded games with Drew Brees this off-season! Don't fret. That entire idiotic debacle of impotent dick-waving will definitely produce results on the field to outshine Tracy Porter. Any game now.

So far, though:

Tracy Porter: 1 int, 1 TD
Mickey Loomis: Smug dickhead who should be fired

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:28 pm

I can pretty much tell that this thread is going to have an enormous number of angry posts from me, all season long. I invite you all to be angry with me.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:34 pm

I am angry!

Also: RG3! RG3! RG3!

Also: Broncos win the Super Bowl! Broncos win the Super Bowl!

Also: Jets: 16-0? Or 1-15????

This has been, BEN'S TAKES ON NFL SUNDAY. These are all terrible, but still virtually infinitely better than Doug Gottlieb's (jew) daily takes on Fox sports radio.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:57 pm

Which way do you mean that? That the NFL (or the predecessor organizations that existed before the merger in 1966) could not have been created if sports gaming wasn't possible, or that the NFL could not now continue to operate if sports gaming was seriously attacked strongly enough to make it all but impossible to operate?

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:59 pm

Sorry, I edited the quote out of my prior message; please presume the following quote was part of it:

"The NFL would not exist without gambling. That is, in a very big way, the entire point of the league."

Now, please proceed to explain your reasoning in response to the preceding question.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Sep 10, 2012 8:16 am

The percentage of people who support the game for the love of the game is dwarfed in comparison to those who support the game because they can get down on it in one form or another.

Sure, the Mack and Doofus show entertains you weekdays from 2-6 PM on your drive home with talk about scores and sports personalities, and it's all fun and games.

But on the weekends, that's when KBUT brings out the big guns, and you get nothing but wall to wall gambling and fantasy league shows.

Mack and Doofus... are nowhere to be found.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:38 am

OK, enough of this goddamn derail! The NFL is actually still doing the thing where they schedule TWO Monday Night Football games at the same time! THis is fucking retarded, who is with me?!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Oct 07, 2012 8:41 pm

Sean Payton was allowed to attend the game, as Drew Brees was set to eclipse the consecutive passing TD streak held by Johnny Unitas.

The Saints won their first game. I will only be counting games this season where our fucking coach is in the building.

(The fact that the Colts beat the Packers without their coach today is something I will steadfastly ignore.)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 15, 2012 12:43 pm

A sportswriter on a sports site wrote this today. He had the Ravens and Pats in his power ranking:

"How are the Ravens behind the Patriots, a team that they beat by a point in Week 3? Well, start with that fact: They won by one point on a last-second field goal at home. Since Vegas values home-field advantage as being worth about three points, looking at that one result suggests that the Patriots would be about two points better than the Ravens on a neutral field. "

This is basically Sportswriting in 2012. If you beat a team by 1 point at home, you are REALLY the inferior team.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Nov 05, 2012 7:00 pm

The Eagles tonight won a challenge where the ball hit the ground and kicked up rubber particles in the Dome, having it still count as a catch.

The NFL is an unwatchable fucking joke.

2012 NFL Thread: There's 31 Teams and The New Orleans Saints

2012 NFL Thread: There's 31 Teams and The New Orleans Saints

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