Roller Derby

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:18 am

Went to Roller Derby last night for the first time. I'll probably work this into a longer (and more polished) blog post tomorrow morning, but here are my initial thoughts.

As a kid back in the 80s I used to watch Midsouth Wrestling on television (and occasionally in person, when they would blow into town). Before (or maybe after, I can't remember) wrestling on channel 34 was roller derby. I remember watching it a few times, although I wouldn't call myself a fan.

A few years back I heard that there was a women's roller derby league here in OKC. I've been meaning to go ever since I heard that, but hadn't made it until last night.

Tickets are $15 for adults and kids are free. I think the door cost covers rental of the Farmer's Market, which is a nicely suited venue for roller derby as it used to be a roller skating rink. Other than the ticket prices, I found everything else to be pretty reasonable. The kids each had a Coke for $2, Susan and I had mixed drinks for $3, and they were having a bake sale with home made desserts for a buck.

Roller derby is pretty complicated, or at least difficult to figure out for first time viewers. I still don't understand most of it. Two teams of women skate around in a circle. If someone goes around first they can score points. If someone from the other team skates around, they can ... do something else. I don't know. Chicks in tights skate around and push each other down and get fouls. I did not feel like my lack of comprehending the sport detracted from my enjoyment of the event.

So after half an hour or so of skating, we hit half time. There's no way to tell this story without sounding like a complete asshole, but I'll try. Basically, halftime was a fund raiser for cancer research, so they did a thing where they shaved people's heads and took donations in a hat. This doesn't sound bad except it lasted over an hour. It went on for-ev-er. They shaved at least 20 people's heads and there was simply nothing else to do other than sit there and wait. It wouldn't have been so bad if I had been there with a couple of guys and we could have chatted and drank beer, but I was there with my wife and two children who were bored out of their skulls. I mean, they were bored 10 minutes into it, and it lasted an hour. And they were asking people for a buck. Like I said, I am completely sympathetic to the cause, but I would be lying if said I didn't consider making a large cash donation in the name of moving this along and getting back to the roller derby.

Unfortunately that lasted SO long that by the time the girls came back out -- I'm guessing a 90 minute break, but I could be wrong -- that the kids had lost interest, and we left near the end of the third period.

Anyway, here are the pictures I shot last night.

http://robohara.com/photo/index.php?alb ... y_03172012

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:51 am

You neglected the most important part, which was to relay some of the competitors' names!

Punky Bruiser??

ANN MUNITION!?!

SANDRA DAY O'CLOBBER!?!!?!

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 12:49 pm

Good point, there were some great ones indeed! Here are the lineups of the two OKC teams:

Tornado Alley Rollergirls

Anomellie
Faerie Mean
Galaxy Inferno
Kitty VonKlobber
Lita-Lita Ho’Beata
Maura Fliction
Mya OH Mya
Rach’El Diablo
Rican Rage
Scarla O’Teara
Sinful Lee
Sucka Tash
Switchblade Rosie
Toxic Kimical

Coaches: Outlaw Josey Whales and Mel Gitsom

---

Lightning Broads

Atomik Ann
Banan-a-Rammer
Bella Bruja
Blonde Brawler
Case Iron Cassy
E-Bomb
Eliza Jukes You
Fierce Alaskan
Jowanna Bruiser
Lil’ Kate Asphyxiate
Lil’ Shanksta
Rolln’ w/the Homies
Scary England
Sweeney Quad
Taryn Bonesapart
Thunderella
What’s R Nutts

Coach: Justa Prick

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 3:35 pm

I LOVE this, god dammit! Love it!

Taryn Bonesapart! LOLoLolol.

God bless the derby. GOD BLESS THOSE GIRLS.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:21 pm

Guys, I got great news! Despite their best efforts, there's still plenty of cancer out there! They're gonna be able to go back out next week!

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 7:28 pm

This is from an older bout, but you'll get the idea:

[youtube][/youtube]

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 7:31 pm

I'm warning you guys now, once Grascar starts up, you're going to forget all about Roller Derby!!

[youtube][/youtube]

Jizaboz · Post by **Jizaboz** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:42 am

Flack wrote: Banan-a-Rammer

Hahahahahah!

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:18 pm

Went to Friday night's bout. During halftime, the girls auctioned off casts they had made to raise money for breast cancer. These were the best ones of the night by far, created by skater Rach-El Diablo.

Here is the winning bidder (that would be me) after the bout, posing with Rach-El.

And here are the "Twins" perched on top of my television. Finally, I have my own "leg lamp".

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:03 pm

Well, we got to get you a "Suspended" mask so you can, within a few months, have your own Bride of Frankenstein growing in the man cave.

Worm is working on a necklace of human teeth.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Mon Jul 23, 2012 8:53 am

pinback wrote:I LOVE this, god dammit! Love it!

Taryn Bonesapart! LOLoLolol.

God bless the derby. GOD BLESS THOSE GIRLS.

Friday night, Morgan and I went up to Walmart to buy our advance tickets for Saturday night's bout.

On the front row there, from left to right, that's Galaxy Inferno, Lita Lita Ho Beata, "Morgan Donor", and Taryn Bonesapart. I did not catch the two girls names' in the back row.

Morgan has also signed up for the junior derby league. We are hoping to make her first practice next weekend. Lita-Lita Ho'Beata and Taryn Bonesapart are the junior derby coaches, so I expect to be seeing more of them this summer.