[Review] The Omen
Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 2:33 pm
REVIEW OF THE MOVIE: Worst movie I have ever seen. Minus infinity stars out of plus-infinity.
REVIEW OF THE THEATER: The ArcLight in Hollywood is the coolest place of all time. Reserved seats, perfect picture/sound, and a really nice restaurant in the lobby where the time of your movie is printed on the table so the waitstaff know how fast to get your stuff. 1,000 Overpriced Drinks out of 1,000.
REVIEW OF THE FOUR JACKASSES BEHIND US: The ArcLight is interesting in that before each movie, a human being actually comes out, gives you the rundown of the movie, who's in it, and then lays out the rules of the theather. No cellphones, no text messaging devices, and no talking. I can say that I didn't hear a phone ring behind us, but that was probably because it was drowned out by the din of the roundtable discussion going on back there. "Fuck, he shot that guy!" Yes, yes he did. He did shoot that guy. Nicely done.
REVIEW OF MYSELF LAYING THE HURT DOWN ON THE FOUR JACKASSES BEHIND US: Ten gang-shootings out of Ten. While everyone else in the row was just doing the "look-back-and-glare", and then occasional half-hearted "shh", I turned around and said: "Hey, guys, why don't you talk about it later?" BOOM. Shut those fuckers up but good. Although in retrospect, their conversation was probably more entertaining than the movie itself. This seems like a non-incident for most of you, but for me it was the first time I risked getting my ass beat or killed in a theater by a bunch of crips and/or bloods. The fact that I chose to do it in front of my date garners me extra high ratings for this maneuver. Vx, you said every once in a while you gotta show you're willing to get your ass kicked. Well, that was pretty close.
REVIEW OF THE MOVIE, AGAIN, FOR THOSE WHO MISSED IT AT THE BEGINNING: The worst movie of all time.
REVIEW OF THE MOVIE BY MY DATE: "I kinda liked it!"
REVIEW OF MY DATE'S TASTE IN MOVIES: EFF MINUS.
REVIEW OF THE THEATER: The ArcLight in Hollywood is the coolest place of all time. Reserved seats, perfect picture/sound, and a really nice restaurant in the lobby where the time of your movie is printed on the table so the waitstaff know how fast to get your stuff. 1,000 Overpriced Drinks out of 1,000.
REVIEW OF THE FOUR JACKASSES BEHIND US: The ArcLight is interesting in that before each movie, a human being actually comes out, gives you the rundown of the movie, who's in it, and then lays out the rules of the theather. No cellphones, no text messaging devices, and no talking. I can say that I didn't hear a phone ring behind us, but that was probably because it was drowned out by the din of the roundtable discussion going on back there. "Fuck, he shot that guy!" Yes, yes he did. He did shoot that guy. Nicely done.
REVIEW OF MYSELF LAYING THE HURT DOWN ON THE FOUR JACKASSES BEHIND US: Ten gang-shootings out of Ten. While everyone else in the row was just doing the "look-back-and-glare", and then occasional half-hearted "shh", I turned around and said: "Hey, guys, why don't you talk about it later?" BOOM. Shut those fuckers up but good. Although in retrospect, their conversation was probably more entertaining than the movie itself. This seems like a non-incident for most of you, but for me it was the first time I risked getting my ass beat or killed in a theater by a bunch of crips and/or bloods. The fact that I chose to do it in front of my date garners me extra high ratings for this maneuver. Vx, you said every once in a while you gotta show you're willing to get your ass kicked. Well, that was pretty close.
REVIEW OF THE MOVIE, AGAIN, FOR THOSE WHO MISSED IT AT THE BEGINNING: The worst movie of all time.
REVIEW OF THE MOVIE BY MY DATE: "I kinda liked it!"
REVIEW OF MY DATE'S TASTE IN MOVIES: EFF MINUS.