The Profesional Help Thread VERSION 2.0

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 1:01 pm

Ask Knuckles to help with your endless problems, he will diagnose and solve it, in under 100 words. Any drugs you need can be bought over the counter, mail me your insurance forms, I bill third party.

If you want, I can tell your problem already without you asking.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Aug 12, 2005 1:06 pm

Please do!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 8:49 am

Yeah, good thread there, Knucks.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 9:51 am

Well, since ICJ has taken his swing at it why don't we have ICJ Jr. give it a whack?

What is wrong with me?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 11:06 am

Worm wrote:Well, since ICJ has taken his swing at it why don't we have ICJ Jr. give it a whack?

Huh?

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 11:29 am

pinback wrote:Yeah, good thread there, Knucks.

Bite me, judging by how well you responded to everyone else's critsismsmsms I thought why bother, but since you taunt.

Your problem is that you are frail, weak and a pussy. You vent your anger throgh the safety and clickity-clack of the internet rather than expressing it in real life. Any attempt to express your displeasure with this world in real life ends up with a bottle of fag wine and a night of drunk rambling on the internet.

I would suggest you do what you prosmised you'd do after the fourth of July. Stop posting here.. at least for a while. Take a break from the internet. Instead of finding "friends" and moving, try to develop a friendship with people, whereas you actually spend more time in person with them than exhanging geeky pm's. It seems you like to solve lifes bumps with uneccesary surgery and perscription drugs. That is what people like Courtney Love do. I suggest

1. get better surgery. Instead of breast plate shaving, get hair replacment.

2.Instead of getting perscription drugs to combat depression get a pet, a real pet like a dog that will acknowledge your presence. Guys that live alone with cats are fucking creepy. Or make a friend at the golf course you frequent.

3. Instead of getting drunk and blabbering inchoherently on here, lift some weights or hit a tanning booth. Play your goddamned guitar. Most importantly when reading such posts, do not go through them sentence by sentence thinking about how you are uncleverly going to disect it and throw back IN MY FACE.

My life is 1 million times worse than yours I'm broke, and uneducated, I choose not to be a whiny fag about it though. I have my friends, my hobbies and goals. To vent my frustrations I use telelmarkers, collection agencies, dimwitted co-workers and DMV tellers to "release". Yesterday when one of the credit cards I'm behind called and asked for me I said "

"Sure I'll go get him"

I then q'd up Wu-Tang Clan aint nuthin' to fuck with in Winamp and blasted it into the phone. I felt better.

Finding a woman will not help your problems, that will only lead to more. You need to quit being such a lurking creep, develop some social skills and quit thinking science will make it all better. Most importantly remember... You are not fat. Nobody likes fat people. That's half the battle. Either way I know your type.

WHO'S NEXT!!!???

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 11:41 am

I think Worm already asked to be next.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 11:57 am

Ooo, ooo, me, me, me. Please, clown, please tell me what my problems are and, most importantly, how I (or somebody) can fix them.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 12:45 pm

I don't know worm, I assume his problems are high cholesotrol and acne scars. I suggest keeping the keeblers upstairs to add a fun and challenging workout besides the workout of cramming trays full of E.L. Fudge into his mouth. For the acne scars I prescribe Cocoa butter lotion. That Cocoa butter will also work wonders on your copius stretch marks.

As far as Casual Observer, I do not know at all either. Was I told long ago he was one of Jack Straws friends? If so I would have to assume-quit shopping for pants at Pacific Sun.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 1:02 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:As far as Casual Observer, I do not know at all either. Was I told long ago he was one of Jack Straws friends? If so I would have to assume-quit shopping for pants at Pacific Sun.

Do shorts count as pants for your advice? If so, yes, I have purchased shorts at Pacific Sun once.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 1:24 pm

Well that's a step, less angst in the pantgst.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 2:04 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Worm wrote:Well, since ICJ has taken his swing at it why don't we have ICJ Jr. give it a whack?
Huh?

It was a rhetorical lead-in to the next question. Unless the whole thing about eating twinkies and not having fart face was what's right with me. Do you want me to start referencing posts, should I use MLA, is that the only way I can avoid being blamed for you being a retard?

Knuckles the CLown wrote:I don't know worm, I assume his problems are high cholesotrol and acne scars. I suggest keeping the keeblers upstairs to add a fun and challenging workout besides the workout of cramming trays full of E.L. Fudge into his mouth. For the acne scars I prescribe Cocoa butter lotion. That Cocoa butter will also work wonders on your copius stretch marks.

Hey, you leaned on "UR FAT & GROSS" so much that you didn't have room for "LOL D&D FAGS"! You're not supposed to be the CLown anymore right?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 5:43 pm

Worm wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Worm wrote:Well, since ICJ has taken his swing at it why don't we have ICJ Jr. give it a whack?
Huh?
It was a rhetorical lead-in to the next question. Unless the whole thing about eating twinkies and not having fart face was what's right with me. Do you want me to start referencing posts, should I use MLA, is that the only way I can avoid being blamed for you being a retard?

You know, when you're slinging your barely-literate first droppings that you literally puinch into your keyboard around this forum you seriously need to ease off on the "you're a retard if you don't know what I'm talking about" tactic, ogre.

"Do I want you to start referencing posts?" You're not going to find a better example of your on-line personality than that, folks. That right there.... that's gold.

YES, you fucking half-breed dim bulb, I want you to start referencing posts so I know what you're talking about. Jesus Christ, I put in a hard day's work at the office and then I have to come rework your shit like I'm the editor transcribing state documents within the far away land of Incomprehensibilia.

What Worm meant to say if he had any interest in being understood, which he doesn't, so he wrote:
Well, since ICJ has taken his swing at my personality problems over Yahoo IM and the occassional PM... why don't we have ICJ Jr. here give it a whack?

Ah! Much better!

Hey, don't get mad at me for this, pal. A child of ten knows enough to let the adults at the table know what the hell he's gone off about. What are you, home-schooled or something? And you SHOULD have some sponge cake. It might better your mood. I've said it before, I'll say it again: you're the most bitter 20 year old I've ever met.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 6:43 pm

Worm wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Worm wrote:Well, since ICJ has taken his swing at it why don't we have ICJ Jr. give it a whack?
Huh?
It was a rhetorical lead-in to the next question. Unless the whole thing about eating twinkies and not having fart face was what's right with me. Do you want me to start referencing posts, should I use MLA, is that the only way I can avoid being blamed for you being a retard?

Knuckles the CLown wrote:I don't know worm, I assume his problems are high cholesotrol and acne scars. I suggest keeping the keeblers upstairs to add a fun and challenging workout besides the workout of cramming trays full of E.L. Fudge into his mouth. For the acne scars I prescribe Cocoa butter lotion. That Cocoa butter will also work wonders on your copius stretch marks.
Hey, you leaned on "UR FAT & GROSS" so much that you didn't have room for "LOL D&D FAGS"! You're not supposed to be the CLown anymore right?

I still think you all are bunch of nerds. THAT never changed. I AM Knuckles the Clown. Knuckles was a way for me to vent my anger in a consequence free enviornment. But you see, the grammar errors, the misspelling and my dislike for all things nerd, that is still me. Much of what I posted was true. The Large Meals I have not enjoyed threads TRUE, the HockeyIncident, NOT TRUE. I would never in a million years play a gay sport like that.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 6:45 pm

Hey, if it wasn't for us nerds, who would you very manly jocks serve the cheeseburger combo meals to?

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 6:45 pm

Hey, don't get mad at me for this, pal. A child of ten knows enough to let the adults at the table know what the hell he's gone off about. What are you, home-schooled or something? And you SHOULD have some sponge cake. It might better your mood. I've said it before, I'll say it again: you're the most bitter 20 year old I've ever met.

Wait, I thought worm was the blind guy on the mower??

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:00 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:You know, when you're slinging your barely-literate first droppings that you literally puinch into your keyboard around this forum you seriously need to ease off on the "you're a retard if you don't know what I'm talking about" tactic, ogre.

PUINCH PUINCH PUINCH HEY AM I TYPING TO BOND HERE?
Don't laugh, I learned it from SoP.

YES, you fucking half-breed dim bulb, I want you to start referencing posts so I know what you're talking about. Jesus Christ, I put in a hard day's work at the office and then I have to come rework your shit like I'm the editor transcribing state documents within the far away land of Incomprehensibilia.

Hey, or you could just remember the things that happened. It wasn't like some third party was going "huh?".

What Worm meant to say if he had any interest in being understood, which he doesn't, so he wrote:
Well, since ICJ has taken his swing at my personality problems over Yahoo IM and the occassional PM... why don't we have ICJ Jr. here give it a whack?
Ah! Much better!

Hey, don't get mad at me for this, pal. A child of ten knows enough to let the adults at the table know what the hell he's gone off about. What are you, home-schooled or something? And you SHOULD have some sponge cake. It might better your mood. I've said it before, I'll say it again: you're the most bitter 20 year old I've ever met.

Really, does where it went on make it so much more obvious to you? Do we have so many real life discussions about my personality that you get them all jumbled up? Is it so hard to just assume that you've taken your swing via the methods of communication we use?

Without it printed in white and grey, I wonder what your wonderful little imagination lead you to! Could I have been talking about our psychic transmissions? Maybe I meant the carrier pigeon messages! Was it possibly radio signals in our teeth?

You read what I write, understand it, and then formulate a way you possibly could have misunderstood it. Come on champ! You're better than this. I am above this petty shit, and since I guess I'm below you, you are by proxy above this petty shit.

I'm going to link to the post on the board (since you forgot to mention it) where you bitched about me being bitter and ask you to explain how it's not about 'personality problems'.

http://www.joltcountry.com/phpBB2/viewt ... c&start=21

I guess a perfect post would have read
"Well, since ICJ has taken his swing at my personality problems in a thread on the forum I am posting this message on, over Yahoo IM, and the occasional PM through the forum I am posting this message on ... why don't we have ICJ Jr. here give it a whack on the forum I am posting this message on?"

Before you hit submit you can say whatever you like. Though this dodging and weaving in a vain effort to misunderstand me as horribly as you can with every post is pathetic, and you can do better..

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:31 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:I would suggest you do what you prosmised you'd do after the fourth of July. Stop posting here..

Perhaps this would be best.

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:37 pm

Worm wrote:You read what I write, understand it, and then formulate a way you possibly could have misunderstood it. Come on champ! You're better than this. I am above this petty shit, and since I guess I'm below you, you are by proxy above this petty shit.

Okay, I figured out where the problem is.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 9:41 pm

pinback wrote:
Knuckles the CLown wrote:I would suggest you do what you prosmised you'd do after the fourth of July. Stop posting here..
Perhaps this would be best.

Haha, I'd dread to see you fufill that prosmise..

ICJ wrote:
Worm wrote:You read what I write, understand it, and then formulate a way you possibly could have misunderstood it. Come on champ! You're better than this. I am above this petty shit, and since I guess I'm below you, you are by proxy above this petty shit.
Okay, I figured out where the problem is.

oooooooooo, so you settling for the light jab means you were totally and completely wrong, right?