[REVIEW] Million Dollar Baby

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:29 pm

I knew this movie was going to suck, because the ending had been spoiled for me months and months in advance, so I was going to have to sit there for two hours knowing what was coming. It's like eating dinner, and then cooking a pot roast. So I give the movie zero stars, for being so predictable, when you know how it ends.

However, on the other hand, this is one of the best movies I have ever seen. I love it so much, I want to hug it and name it and call it George. BRUTALLY emotional, extreedingly well made, and just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful from start to finish.

I give this movie ****1/2 stars out of five, and demand that everyone who hasn't seen it, see it.

Hilary Swank is God. Morgan Freeman is God. Clint Eastwood is... well, he's good. Got nothin' against Clint.

A great movie is one that affects you for many many hours afterward. A fantastic one is one where it does so when you already knew how it ended, because some PRICK called the Neil Rogers show six months ago and blabbed it out over the air.

Have you all seen this yet? I thought I just told you all to see it. What the hell is the matter with you? Why aren't you watching it right now?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:33 pm

I wanted to get "Assault on Precinct 13" starring Lawrence Fishburne. Instead there was apparently a movie from 1976 with the same name and I hilariously selected the wrong one in Netflix.

Ha ha ha ahhahaa!!! Ya GOT ME!! You fucking assholes.

I haven't seen it yet, but I am predicting zero out of five stars.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:53 pm

See, now this thread is going to turn into a discussion of Precinct 13, which is why it's pointless to discuss good movies here. "I think the bad OLD version is better than the bad NEW version!" "You're crazy! The old version sucks WAY more than the admittedly horrible new version!"

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:44 pm

I saw MDB, and although I liked the movie alot and avoid spoilers like I do seafood in Fort Collins so the ending wasn't ruined for me, come on, how the hell can you say that Clint was anything but a walking, talking Clint cardboard cutout? He acted about as smoothly as the smart zombies in Land of the Dead acted when they were portraying how really, although they were dead, they could still do shit like pump gas, stiffly and deadish and without the facial spasms that come from being a walking, talking dead person that is still trying to convince people it is still alive, like our boy Clint. We know you're dead, just act like it already and feed on the corpse you've made next time.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:53 pm

I said he was good. I didn't say he was God. If he's God in this movie, it's not for his acting, but for his direction.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:37 pm

pinback wrote:See, now this thread is going to turn into a discussion of Precinct 13, which is why it's pointless to discuss good movies here. "I think the bad OLD version is better than the bad NEW version!" "You're crazy! The old version sucks WAY more than the admittedly horrible new version!"

Whoa there, Tiger! All I am saying is that every movie has been remade so many times that I can't even get the one I want 100% of the time. That's all.