Double Indemity

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I used to be able to not be able to stand black and white movies. I used to be able to not be able to think of Fred MacMurray as anything other than a guy who pumped out His Three Sons while Alex Ross used him as the basis for drawing "Shazam!"

It is with great glee and absolutely no rancor that I am able to say that I am unable to think either of those things any longer.

Holy shit, Double Indemity is a great fucking movie.

I don't know where to start, frankly, so I'll instead take you back eleven years. Taking any job that pays well enough, your friendly neighborhood system operator is working at the Brae-Mar Driving Range in Greece, NY. It's his third summer there. He knows all the ins and outs and is, of course, well-aware that there isn't an electronic cash register or a camera and, in fact, only the minimum wage employee's honesty in checking off how many buckets of golf balls that were sold in a given shift because he's all alone.

He could rob that place!

More interestingly, I could rob that place.

I knew just how I would do it -- I would grab all the cash on a rainy day where a decent turnout would not be expected and then get my ass to Mexico as soon as possible. That was going to be my Master Plan.

I didn't, of course, and I didn't even have to see Double Indemity. Walter Neff, as played by Shazam!, thinks he's got the perfect murder and cash-grab one could have, even for 1944, because he works in insurance and has been thinking about how he would pull one off for eleven years himself.

He does it because of a woman, specifically, a blonde, which I guess were somewhat more rare back then because people didn't throw bleach into their hair? The fuck if I know. He's smitten, though, and wanting to do anything to get her leads him to start working murder, trains, the deception of his co-workers and burning actual holes into his undershirts due to how much he starts sweating as things do not work out as originally planned. Those of you from Shaker Heights or, to get even more swarthy for a moment, Europe, know just what I mean.

This was the first movie I'd ever seen Edward G. Robinson in, and the man was BRILLIANT. You hear names like his all through your life and figure that he was really nothing more than the guy that told you that you were the rat that killed his brother, but Jesus -- he's not even acting well for someone who made a movie in 1944 (and let's face it, the standards are a little lower) but for anyone at any time. Maybe I just don't see a lot of good acting in the movies I see. (Next up for me is "Brain Damage," for instance -- I don't know if there is an Eddie G. within ten thousand reels of that flick.)

I don't remember who played the blonde, but the cast is great. I guess I get why some people like old movies now? Possibly!

At any rate. There is real tension here, almost from start to finish, and I don't want to spoil any of this movie for you. It's one that hasn't been ripped off a million times since 1944, possibly because we were fighting the fucking Nazis at the time and as a nation we didn't have time to whirl away in air conditioned movie theatres watching a bunch of Kraut-sympathizing Hollywood pussies prance and preen about while our boys were out getting their faces blown off by Helmut and Helgor's twisted little grenades that were shaped like red rising suns and vomited out tiny hammers and sickles instead of shrapnel and therefore it didn't enter the country's collection consciousness. How the fuck should I know? I can't believe how well it held up after 61 years.

Get a copy of this movie from Blockbuster (hahahaha, yeah right) or eBay or even more humiliatingly, Green Cine. It doesn't matter. Just see it. This is probably the best movie I've ever seen.

Five out of Five Stars

[Vitriola]

This was perhaps the schlockiest, most forced dialogue I've ever witnessed on a big screen release. At times, it was even more painful than the scenes between CZJ and Sean Connery in 'Entrapment', and yet I enjoyed this movie very much. Odd.

[pinback]

Hey Jonsey, how did you like Strangelove?

Dick.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

My hatred for movies with an "or" in their title is still very much alive.

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

Check out "Strangers on a Train" next, if you like that sort of thing. Another B&W murder yarn, with Hitchcock directing this time, and a couple damned dangerous stunts near the end.

I haven't seen Double Indemnity, but I am planning on having the Tivo nab it off TCM this month.

Oh, and for God's sake, see "Arsenic and Old Lace" - really, you will LOVE it. I think it might be on TCM this month as well - if not, probably next; it's on pretty often, and TCM has good quality prints and always OAR. (Though not such a big deal for such old movies since they're usually 1.33:1 anyway, like your non-widescreen TV.)