Does anyone give a shit about The Matrix: Revolutions?

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 4:42 pm

The reviews are in: it blows. The backlash of a crowd expecting waay too much, another Reloaded fiasco, or is this a fresh new level of suck? I, for one, am sick of going to see the movies I know will suck, just so I can be in-the-know about how exactly it sucks, just like everyone else who thought it sucked, and am not going to go see this in the theaters.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 4:50 pm

er.. nope.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 4:57 pm

Hey, I had a good time just now, although it definitely loses a lot of steam right there at the end. As far as 'Reloaded' goes (which I liked the first time I saw it), I've been hearing a lot of people switch their opinion on it within the last week, saying "uh, yeah, well I saw it again and understood it better this time."

So all I'm saying is, go ahead and tear into Revolutions like you all did for Reloaded, but if I hear any of you going, "dur, uh, I guess it's safe for me to say I like it now," I am seriously going to lose all respect for you as a decent human being.

Matedire · Post by **Matedire** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 5:02 pm

I like trinity's ass and boobies

yep

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 5:11 pm

I saw Reloaded this past week, and I honestly thought I'd like it, because people are such blockbuster movie snobs, me, included. I actually...hated it. I thought it was horribly acted (my biggest complaint), awkward, bulky, unnecessary in many parts, melodramatic, I hated all the characters and I wanted them to die, and I outright laughed at points. Points where laughs were not the appropriate response. So, I have no hope I'll like the third installment, and will wait for somebody else to rent it when it comes out in a few months before I see it.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 5:13 pm

Matedire wrote:I like trinity's ass and boobies

That's about all any straight male can like about her, since the rest is 100% Y-chromosome.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:12 pm

In Reloaded, Neo says "upgrades".

In Revolutions, Agent Smith says "I've seen this before"

Hey, here's an idea, W. brothers.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 8:04 pm

Matedire wrote:I like trinity's ass and boobies

They really should have CGed her ass and boobies onto her horse face.

The most uncompelling thing about the second Matrix movie was the two of them having sex. The fuck? Hey, maybe the two directors could show them shopping at the Safeway or picking out a recliner next. Nobody cares about monogamy in movies.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 8:27 pm

I think I mentally lumped the sex in with the way too long dance thing and pretended that both weren't in the movie.

Angry Stewart Payne · Post by **Angry Stewart Payne** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 8:51 pm

Seriously, what was up with that dance scene?

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 9:01 pm

Really, can anyone go back and count the minutes of the dance and sex scenes? People really blew that out of proportion I think.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Thu Nov 06, 2003 9:45 am

I was going to post the same basic topic on groucho, but haven't gotten around to it.

FWIW, as of yesterday mid-day, I checked Rotten Tomatoes - y'know, that indexes reviews to give a Tomatometer score. My interpretation is that generally, a high score means that most people will enjoy the movie, a low score means that most people won't. It's not really good for saying how much some people will enjoy it.

The Matrix has 86%. OK, that makes sense.
Matrix Reloaded, I was shocked to see, has something like 76%. First off, I can't believe that. Secondly, this is a downside of the thing, it doesn't weigh in just how much a movie is hated, just a good/bad thing. It seems that most people who didn't like it, absolutely hated it (like me.)

Matrix Revolutions - 38%. RT breaks out the "professional" reviewers - a woeful 15% there.

Wow. That's bad.

I had actually heard that this one might be pretty good (despite an appallingly lame trailer), but from the review snippets, it sounds like it's Not To Be.

(OK, just checked RT again. It's dipped slightly to 37% overall, but professional has gone up to 28% - still appallingly bad.)

Oh, and Roody, I (and I think most of us) wanted to love Reloaded. We really did. Hell, I'd like to see Revolutions be a good movie. I still like the original. The fact is, Reloaded is a total and compete piece of dogshit. It'd be sort of like George Lucas following up the original Star Wars with Episode One - only worse. (Yes, Reloaded is clearly worse than Episode One.)

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 10:08 am

That's funny, because as I watched 'Revolutions,' at one part, I actually thought to myself, now see, this is the kind of 'doesn't that look cool' thing that Episode I and II totally got wrong, not that I think the Star Wars movies just needed to look great. The Matrix series, on the other hand and as I've said before, isn't much more than a cute homage to the dozens of movies it stole this and that. I liked Reloaded as it brought in aspects of Neuromancer and the new one continues that and even extends some of the similarities to Tron.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Thu Nov 06, 2003 12:42 pm

I dunno. Sheerly as an effects feature, I think Reloaded falls totally flat - Neo flying around is just laughably silly, most of the effects are there just to show off (the twins being the most obvious example - they've got a stupid "power" that would never have been thought of except that it's something easily doable with CGI), and the big setpiece (the trucks colliding), I thought, was staggeringly poorly executed.

Since I thought the effects were bad, I was left with the acting and the story - no one will argue that Keanu and Carrie-Anne are both terrible actors (and Carrie's about as sexy as Charlie Brown), and the story was confusing, pretentious, and goes absolutely nowhere - at the end of the movie, everyone's in exactly the same situation as they were at the beginning.

Most insufferable is the "2 k00l 4 U" stuff in the movies. "Neo" being an anagram of "one"... and in the third one, apparently Neo's in limbo, and there's a Mobil station there. Get it? limbo = mobil

DUMB DUMB DUMB

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 1:56 pm

I thought the twins' power was nicely explained and was a fun allusion to the world of "supernatural" activities off-screen.

And I think that Keanu and Carrie-Anne's horrible acting nicely gives the trilogy an allegorical, Joseph-Campbell-concept-of-heroes* feel. Sometimes flaws do fit together in just the right way.

(* - Okay, I admit, my knowledge of Joseph Campbell is mainly derived from George Alec Effinger's The Zork Chronicles)

Lysander no time to login · Thu Nov 06, 2003 2:39 pm

Right. Since I appear to be the only person on this board who genuinly likes Matrix Reloaded, I'll feild this. I watched Reloaded a couple weeks ago, and now that I've seen it a second time, I must say that I can kinda see what people were talking about when they said it sucked. The three things that really teed me off about it were: 1: the 1000 Agent Smith fight. Why the fuck doesn't he just fly off at the beginning of the fight? Seriously. That goes way, way, waaaaay too long.
2: Tank. The bastards killed off one of the coolest characters in the first movie who made it out alove in a transition. The fuck? Seriously. He deserves more than that, goddamnit. And Link sucks ass. Not that way.
3: The dance/sex scene. I thought this was dumb when I saw the thing in the first place. Seriously. What the fuck is that there for? Words cannot describe how completely pointless I feel that scene is.

But I still find the movie to be a good one, mainly because of the speech with the architect at the end of the movie. Oh, and if they don't explain why Neo can knock out sentinels in the real world, and it better not be some "smith is part of Neo so he has wild and discordant powers TM! Neo rox0rsroflmaowtfusuxwanncybar!1!111!!!" in Revolutions, or else I will go postal.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 3:07 pm

Roody_Yogurt wrote:And I think that Keanu and Carrie-Anne's horrible acting nicely gives the trilogy an allegorical, Joseph-Campbell-concept-of-heroes* feel. Sometimes flaws do fit together in just the right way.

I actually thought that in Episode II, Hayden Christensen worked really well. I once, in high school, dated an overly sensitive, dramatic, emotional jackass; he acted just like that, and he was the type to do exactly what went on in that movie. It worked for me there, but not in TM:Reloaded. I didn't even mind Neo and Trinity's acting so much as I just wanted Morpheus to shut the hell up, and Link and his pouty wife to plot device themselves right off the screen.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 8:34 pm

The first Matrix had the "Wow! Look what they are doing with the special effects" thing going for it. when I saw the first Freeze in the air during a kick and spin the scene around then speed up and zoom in, I thought 'This is gonna be the start of something BIG'.

WRONGO- Bucko. It was good for exactly ONE movie. Then it got tiresome and kinda lame. now when I go see M3, (prolly this weekend) I expect to see senseless fighting, too much plot explanation, so-so acting and a soundtrack that is TOO FUCKING LOUD!

At least I will have some kind of closure on the whole matrix thing. Unlwess it goes into movie 4 like I have heard rumored.

THE
WHOLE BALL OF WAX
AARDVARK

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Fri Nov 07, 2003 5:09 am

The sound-mixing in Reloaded was absolutley appalling.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Fri Nov 07, 2003 8:38 am

Anyone want to explain why people have no hesitation in going to see a movie that they fully expect to be bad, but trepidation and nervousness at seeing a movie that they expect to be good?

'Vark, "The Eye" is playing at the Little this weekend. They need your money more than the Matrix people do. DO THE RIGHT THING.

(Unless you don't like ghost stories, in which case, don't. Unless you went to see Sixth Sense, in which case, go anyways.)

There's also the Coen Bros' latest, Intolerable Cruelty, there's Kill Bill if you haven't seen it yet, and supposedly School of Rock is good although the trailers make it look wretched. I think Lost in Translation is also still playing at the Little.

Movie fans everywhere are counting on you! Don't be a sheep and go see the known-bad movie just because you feel obligated to! Strike a blow against mindless, bloated, pointless CGI-fests!

Lysander: Architect speech, possible worst part of movie. Pointless, stupid, and and TVs full of "alternate" Neos are laughable. The perfect example of the movie taking itself way, way, way too seriously. You are on the right track with your complaints about the movie, though... just follow them through to the logical conclusion: it sucks.