The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 11:23 am

Just a brutal, nasty film. It ends up becoming a kill-the-teenagers flick that everyone has seen a hundred times before, but the parts with Leatherface stumbling and rumbling about attempting to hack everyone up caused me to jump. I am not proud of this, but it did occur.

Very predictable in spots: OMG, Leatherface makes one last stand at the end of the film, sort of. I saw that coming before I entered the theater. I saw that coming before I woke up yesterday. I saw that coming right after the original movie came out, back in early 1974 when I was just a bunch of sticky junk in Old Bob's rock johnson.

But I jumped and jerked and said, "JESUS CHRIST" at some of the repulsive images that were thrown up on the screen for revulsion's sake. I enjoyed Jennifer Biel running around in a tied-together white t-shirt. I did think to myself that some scenes were competently directed and there was one bit after a suicide where the camera sort of took you into the mind of the girl who offed herself, har har. Whoever played Leatherface did capture the unmentionable qualities of him, and the last image I recall from the movie (a black and white freeze-frame on Leatherface) was rather haunting.

So to sum up -- typical. It could have been the Greatest Movie Ever, but it fell into a genre pitfall. Distrurbing, sure, but it still could have been much more original.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 11:33 am

Jessica Biel

One of my favorite galleries. And some incentive for the rest of you:

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 11:47 am

My problem with the movie was that it was even more a obvious ripoff than most examples of the genre. I never saw the original, and want to, but there were scenes filmed and conversations had that were exactly, directly taken from 2 other movies I've seen in the past year. I've seen alot of horror, and this was more blatant than most. There was so much good about the movie, but it ultimately couldn't distract me from what was so very wrong with the movie. So I stared at JBiel and stopped caring.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:38 pm

God DAMN it, Jonsey!

If nothing else, will you trust my opinion on horror movies? Will you also remember that the blockbuster in the movie theater is the same movie that, a year later, will be collecting dust in the corner of Blockbuster, next to a bunch of other movies that you'd never bother renting? Just because it's in the theater doesn't mean that it's worth watching.

C'mon. This is Jeff here. "Re-Animator". "Street Trash". "Dawn of the Dead". Giver of the H.P. Lovecraft book. Do I steer you wrong? Do I encourage you to watch drek like Mothman Prophecies... or do I encourage Dead Alive (aka Braindead)?

FWIW, some of the Mobius forum (where I occasionally lurk) were laughing at the notion that the new TCM is "disturbing" or "gruesome" - check out Audition (disturbing) or Ichi the Killer (gruesome) if you want some real sucker-punch stuff.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 2:53 pm

You could always try the internet. It isn't hard to find gruesome stuff.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 4:31 pm

Worm wrote:You could always try the internet. It isn't hard to find gruesome stuff.

Or date some, either.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 4:49 pm

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:God DAMN it, Jonsey! If nothing else, will you trust my opinion on horror movies?

What, you saw it? You saw T2CM? I had no idea.

It doesn't matter. I went because it was a social event. Shit got cut up, beverages got consumed, Biel got gazed at and blood got splattered. Is it a good movie? Of course not. Did I have a good time? Yes.

Will you also remember that the blockbuster in the movie theater is the same movie that, a year later, will be collecting dust in the corner of Blockbuster, next to a bunch of other movies that you'd never bother renting?

I would have rented T2CM. I would also have failed to return it on-time. That brings me to $7, which is what I paid for a ticket anyway.

FWIW, some of the Mobius forum (where I occasionally lurk) were laughing at the notion that the new TCM is "disturbing" or "gruesome" - check out Audition (disturbing) or Ichi the Killer (gruesome) if you want some real sucker-punch stuff.

A bunch of sickly Eberts thinking they are oh-so-ironic because a flick that all of them consider themselves too "educated" to see do not have the right to an opinion.

There are scenes in the remake that are designed only and specifically to revolt and digust. They do that. I think they achieve that end. It was not "Citizen Kane," but it was not a waste of money. Besides, that kind of movie you want to see on the big screen anyway.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Thu Oct 30, 2003 8:40 am

Why would you want to see it on the big screen?

That kind of movie is pretty much made for video distribution.

As for a social event, you probably would have had a good time no matter what you watched. So why not watch Kill Bill, which would be at least as good from a "party" prospective (probably a lot better), have more chicks to ogle, and actually see a decent movie?

Ehh, can't change history. But geez, man, we need to work on your discrimination skills. Dropping full price to see various bad movies in the theater... paying $50 for crappy games (especially ones that you expect to be crappy)... C'mon now!

Mobius folks are hardly "oh-so-ironic" and the guy I linked to has fucking cred like no one else here... as I said, he did a huge restoration to TCM eight years ago and that's what every release since then has been pulled from. Considering that his company is releasing Street Trash and The Deadly Spawn, you can't rightly call him out for being snobby.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 10:41 am

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:Why would you want to see it on the big screen?

That kind of movie is pretty much made for video distribution.

So you haven't seen it.

Thanks for telling me that the movie I enjoyed on the big screen that you haven't seen at all is better on a TV and that I should not have gone and seen it. Jesus.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Thu Oct 30, 2003 1:06 pm

I had enough sense not to see it.

(Though Mrs W wants to see it, though she expects it to be awful.)

(It never fails to confound me why people cheerfully plunk down money and walk movies that they fully expect to be bad, yet have little interest in movies that they expect to be good.)

The point still stands. Ya shoulda seen Kill Bill instead.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 4:42 pm

Here's what really happened, Jethro. ICJ IMs me and asks me which I would prefer seeing: KBVI or TCMII. I said, wow, Kill Bill will probably be the better movie, but it's the week before Halloween, we got a bottle of MD, I want to see the horror movie. You got a problem? You wanna go? I'll take you to school. You wanna fucking fight? Let's do it, J. Right now. Let's go.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Fri Oct 31, 2003 8:01 am

You'll get yours, don't worry about it. All the Rochester peanut gallery is lining up with their own particular brand of shots, and when you're done, you'll be begging to go back to the hovel of pizza boxes, strange and disquieting odors, and spilled booze. (I was going to mention "tobaccy juice" but sounds like Brother Sherwin might not have been in the new place.)

Ya shoulda just rented the original. Sneaking booze into a theater is... well, a bit sad, really.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 8:58 am

It's the only way to go to the theatre.

Hell, I'd bring a bottle to an opera.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 10:01 am

Jethro Q. Walrustitty wrote:Sneaking booze into a theater is... well, a bit sad, really.

????

What are you, 65 years old? Jesus.

Sneaking bottles of whatever into theatres is half the reason anyone bothers to go to the movies these days. Look it up; I swear that it is true.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 10:13 am

Best part of watching "Attack of the Clones" was when my cousin's empty beer was knocked over and rolled to the front of the theatre.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 10:20 am

Sad is not bringing alcohol into movies.
Sad is that they don't serve it there.
Sadder is that I've graduated from bringing forties to bringing bottles of hard liquor.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 10:23 am

They do have theatres where they serve it here, actually.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 10:52 am

Yeah, I think the "Aggie" theatre out here does serve some drinks.

I did manage to boot the bottle of whatever the hell it was that I had for "Pirates of the Caribbean" when I got back from the bathroom. Luck was on my side, however! V and I were the only two people in the theatre, so no one was injured by my attempt to spontaneously create a punt-pass-kick competition at Theatre #3 in the Longmont Twin Peaks Mall.

(Luck was on my side again, as the bottle of unknown fluid had been completely consumed before it was accidently accelerated by my foot.)

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Fri Oct 31, 2003 11:46 am

Not in the military state of NY. Between not being able to smoke in bars, not being able to buy beer at most social events, and the outlawing of certain foliage, if you want to have a good time in NY you need to break the law.

Jethro Q. Walrustitty · Fri Oct 31, 2003 1:24 pm

No, it is sad. You people are like babies, not being able to go without your precious bottle for an hour and a half. (OK, two hours with commercials.)

Jonsey, you also kicked your beer last movie we saw together, maybe a year or so ago. I do not remember which flick it was. I suspect that kicking the bottle happens every time you bring booze to the theater, leaving a poor minimum-wage making schlub to pick them up and curse the savages who have so little concern for being responsible moviegoers.