[ARMY OF LOVE] Pinback's Women V

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Welcome back to Pinback's Women, our ongoing series from the good folks over at the ARMY OF LOVE, where Pinback throws a lot of bullshit up on a webpage about various women with whom he has absolutely no chance of forming a meaninful, long-term relationship with, those dumb bitches.

Here we go!

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Name: Lily
Nickname: None available
Picture: http://www.montorusa.com/photo/lily2.jpg
STATUS: TERMINATED

Recent developments:
- My man Franky has begun hitting that. Franky has been DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED from the ARMY OF LOVE, for CONSORTING WITH THE ENEMY.

Possibility of Success: 0%
Enthusiasm level: None

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Name: Jana
Nickname: "Checky"
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/jana.jpg
STATUS: IN PROGRESS

Recent developments:
- AIM conversations have cooled, and are now largely nonexistent.
- Still have not had lunch/dinner again.

Possibility of Success: 0.1% (change: -0.9%)
Enthusiasm level: Low (was: Medium-Low)

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Name: Lori Peddle
Nickname: None available
Picture: None available
STATUS: IN PROGRESS

Recent developments:
- A couple short emails about how busy she is, and then nothing.
- However, given my new plan to take a long sabbatical and tour the country, the long-distance nature of this thing is now less of an issue.

Possibility of Success: 0.3% (change: +0.2%)
Enthusiasm level: Low (was: Very Low)

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Name: Christy Hofmann
Nickname: None available
Picture: None available
STATUS: PREPARATORY

Recent developments:
- Nothing

Possibility of Success: 0.1% (-0.2%)
Enthusiasm level: Extremely Low (was: Very Low)

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Name: Jessica Rose Campbell
Nickname: "Shortcake"
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/jrc.jpg
STATUS: SKANKMASTER GENERAL

Recent developments:
- I don't want to know your name, I just want, bang bang bang.

Possibility of Success: 0% (no change)
Enthusiasm level: Go Fuck Yourself (was: Self-Immolation)

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Name: Dayna
Nickname: "Vitriola"
Picture: None available (?)
STATUS: IN PROGRESS

Recent developments:
- She's spending most of her time now on the phone with Jonsey.
- I think this is just because she's too shy to call me instead.
- But she'll learn.

Possibility of Success: 0.01% (no change)
Enthusiasm level: Mysterious (was: Coy)

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Name: April
Nickname: None available
Picture: http://home.earthlink.net/~pinback/april.jpg
STATUS: HIT THAT

Recent developments:
- Hit that.

Possibility of Success: 0%
Enthusiasm level: Hit That (was: Predatory)

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This has been: Pinback's Women, a Pinback's Army of Love production. Fun Pinback SEX FAX: This is the first time in the history of my life that I've had sex with TWO DIFFERENT WOMEN within the same one-week period. Can the Apocalypse be far behind?