Scary Movie 4 (2006)

[Flack]

You know that feelings where you're in the middle of sometimes -- maybe it's a presentation at work or some sort of performance -- and you can feel it going wrong in real time? That's what watching Scary Movie 4 feels like.

SM4 opens with a quick parody of Saw, with Shaq and Dr. Phil chained by their ankles, and the only way to access a handsaw is by Shaq making a free throw. It's silly and might inspire a light chuckle, but it's not overly funny and it kind of sets expectations for the rest of the film. The closing joke is that Dr. Phil is goaded by Shaq into cutting off his foot, and accidentally cuts off the wrong foot. Har har.

Zucker and Abrahams are back in the fourth installment, which feels more than ever like people going through the motions in order to earn a buck. These films are guaranteed to turn a profit even if they're, shall we say, "less than art." Perhaps more than any of the others, the fourth movie in the franchise feels very formulated. Mash up two movies, throw in lots of parodies, and hope Zuck, with a little help from Leslie Nielson, can save the day.

This film mashes War of the Worlds with The Grudge. Faris returns yet again as Cindy, who has shed herself of her nephew from the previous film and is looking for a job. Regina Hall also returns again as Brenda, who had her head blown off at her own wake in the third film and was murdered in a theater in the first. Crowd pleasers Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart return as Mahalik and CJ, as does Leslie Nielson as the President Baxter. Several actors make reappearances here as new characters, such as Chris Elliott and Carmen Electra. Charlie Sheen appears in the first few minutes before being killed off in a tragic Viagra-related overdose, and Cindy's ex-husband George (who tragically broke his neck after falling in a boxing ring between films three and four) appears in a flashback. This time around, Cindy's love interest is Tom (Craig Bierko), who parodies Tom Cruise's character from War of the Worlds. Molly Shannon makes an appearance as Tom's ex-wife. It's a star-studded affair, to be sure. Even Dave Attell makes an appearance!

Like all these movies, the parodies vary in length and are mostly non-sequitur (starting with a too-long parody of Brokeback Mountain featuring Anderson and Hart). Cindy has flashbacks about her first marriage, which is a five-second reference to Hustle & Flow. There are more dated references here -- Mike Tyson bites a referee's ear off in the ring, Charlie Sheen's wives are the three girls from that old Playboy/Hugh Hefner reality show, and the initial "pod" sent by the alien invaders is, in fact, a classic iPod. When Mahalik comes up with a particularly deep idea he promises to put it on MySpace. There's a parody of George Bush hearing about 9/11 while in the classroom. The Michael Jackson impersonator is back. These films are a product of their times.

The thing about these movies is that the quick parodies become scenes. It's easy to imagine Leslie Nielson speaking one or two lines of fake Japanese and moving on, but here it becomes a two minute scene. The joke's just a little too long. Tempura. Sushi. Sashimiiiiiiiiii...



Brenda doesn't appear until the second half of the film as the War of the Worlds takes a detour into The Village. This time Brenda's a reporter, and the only two characters who appear in the first four Scary Movie films make their escape in a LeBaron convertible hijacked from Lil Jon. Before long we meet Bill Pullman and Chris Elliott (who is terribly underused here) and it's a big, long diversion to the plot.

Scary Movie 4 has Zucker and Abraham's fingerprints all over it, but not necessarily in a good way. It's not just the jokes here -- it's the style that feels dated. The movies parodied here didn't age particularly well -- I don't know a lot of people revisiting War of the Worlds or The Village these days, and The Grudge storyline gets abandoned for long periods of time. Many of the quick jokes sound like they could have been Airplane (or Airplane II) outtakes. Craig Bierko doesn't have Simon Rex's comic timing and isn't successful in pulling off the leading man role, and Cindy and Brenda don't team up until halfway through the film. The previous films were heavily character driven while this one weighs heavily on the parodied films, which aren't all that good. Unlike the previous films, this one splits up the main cast and keeps them separated in their own films instead of mashing everything together.

In the third act, the cast is reunited as they return to the land of Saw. Somehow, the writers were able to entertwine Saw, The Grudge, and War of the Worlds. Everyone lives happily ever after, and Tom Ryan makes an appearance on "Oprah" and jumps on the couch in an over the top and final dated reference. It's a silly, stupid ending to a silly, stupid franchise. OR IS IT?

[pinback]

Shaq and Dr. Phil chained by their ankles, and the only way to access a handsaw is by Shaq making a free throw.

I originally read this as Shaq and Phil Jackson, which, oh man, now you've got a movie.

[Flack]

There's a Kobe joke in there and a few other jokes and references about people who have since died that seem weird.