[Matrix Reloaded] ... holy fucking shiiiit...

[shocked and awed Bond]

http://www.ngemu.com/forums/showthread. ... adid=38092

My brain... my brain... it pounds gently like last night's hangover, but god *damn* if this is true the directors of this film would be the smartest people in Hollywood, not that that's saying all that much but *fuck*.

[Worm]

I should of seen this. I just remember hearing my friends didn't like it becaue Zion was predominently black (I know they are fucks) and there is a long long long rave scene.

[Souffle of Pain]

They're all robots? That's so stupid.

Anyway, I doubt VERY HIGHLY that the two clowns who wrote the Matrix thought of any of that. They just wanted to put a bunch of shit into a flick that they thought was "da shit." That's it. That's all.

[bot]

Feh, the Matrix Reloaded is shit.

I liked the ending best! TO BE CONTINUED

Here is a synopsis of the story:

1. Machines are digging for Zion.
2. Human ship goes home to Zion to prepare defense.

Cut to lots o' black people dancing. (15 minutes)
Cut to Lawrence Fisburne sucking in his puffy-ass cheeks (interminable)

3. Neo goes into Matrix to talk with Oracle.

Cut to Neo fighting (20 minutes)

4. Neo and the gang head to fancy pants guy holding "keymaster" (and who I assume is the same guy from the original Ghostbusters)

Cut to the gang fighting (15 minutes)
Cut to the gang running (15 minutes)

5. Neo and the gang head out with keymaster to open special glowing door.

Cut to the gang fighting/running (25 minutes)

6. Neo goes through the door,and learns... OMG!! History has repeated itself already, like 6 times! Blow my fucking mind!! Why the fuck not 600 times? Wouldn't that be even cooler?
7. Here come the machines!! Will our brave heroes escape certain death?

Am I missing something? The only thing "genius" about the movie is the choreography.

[James Bond]

Alright, now hold on one goddamn minute. I personally find Matrix Reloaded to be one of the best goddamn movies ever, and certainly the best movie to come out of the shitpile that *is* modern cinima in, oh, i don't know, two years. Soppy, did you even *see the fucking movie* before you went and bashed it? The movie is chalked *full* of religeous significance! Do you think that they called the french guy the "maravingener" just because they thought it was an l33t name? As for Bot's comments, I can see why you'd think that way, but one thing you're forgetting is the Agent Smith subplot. Considering the way that history repeated itself 5 times (and for the record, that *did* blow my mind--at least, the part where they have rows upon rows of monitors all with Neo on them which all have different reactions, and you keep going through the scene by zooming in on one of them), things could get seriously funky if you throw in Agent Smith running amok. I don't just like the Matrix Reloaded for its fight scenes, though they were neat too, but because it actually *does* have an intriguing plot. You just have to get out of the "everyone's just making excuses to use awesome CGI now" rutt and look at the movie for what its trying to say.

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

Normally, this would be trolling for anyone to write such a simple, one-line message. However, in this case, it's so damned true that no jury in the world would convict anyone writing such a message of trolling.



Ahem.


"Matrix Reloaded fucking SUCKED ASS and anyone who think otherwise is a pretentious nutjob who needs to get their head out of their ass and should seek counseling for sprouting wood during 'bullet-time' or when Neo flies."

[James Bond]

Did you even, aheh, read my last post? I'm the first to criticize a movie for being blatant special effects eyecandy, and the fact is that Matrix Reloaded simply is not that. They finally make the good sequel, a feat that has never occured for the last five years except, maybe, X2 which I haven't seen yet, and it gets trashed because there are too many special effects. You know, if you people are going to have such a blind hatred of special effects at all, then why don't we go back to the times when "Alien" has the best "special effects" in ten years. OMG hes in a suit thats gritutous lolololo it suxuxuxuxux!1!!!1111!1!11!!11!1 I mean, come on. When special effects are used to compliment the story, they are very powerful creation tools for movies. Even when there are grituitous "Okay, let's get in a big fight" moments, they still manage to serve the *plot* of the movie. And, yes, there is one. I don't see what people are complaining about. Good all-around movie with kick-ass and take names CGI effects, and arguably a deeper plot than the *first* matrix movie--and I didn't hear many people complaining that the *first* Matrix movie had too many special effects--and it gets slandered by religeous zellits who go "that's terrible! How dare they insinuate our religeon into that terrible Matrix world! This movie suuuuuuuuucks! Waaaaaah!" or people who can't understand the plot for what it is.

[bruce]

You're a fucking troglodyte.

Matrix 2 was an incoherent clusterwank of a movie. And I bet the third movie is going to end with "...AND IT WAS ALL A DREAM!!1! HAHAHLOLOLLOLOLOOMG!!1!!!" with an extra (what passes for "ironic" in the anal destruction wasteland that is Hollywood) twist of "OR WUZ TI?!?!HAHAHA WTF!!?!? HAHALOLLLOLOOMFG!!!1!"

The symbolism was not "deep" or "profound." It was "trite" and "heavyhanded." At least Neo didn't need to fly backwards around the earth really fast to make Trinity revive though. Seriously. The movie blew goats. Festering, syphilitic, dead goats. I want my two hours back.

Bruce

[loafergirl]

But has anyone seen the animatrix series?

[Worm]

suprnova.com I'm thinking of downloading it tonight. It's under movies/anime.*

*download Burst! to use the .torrent files search this board for The Hulk, Burst!, or even Torrent. You could search the google web too

[Guest]

The symbolism was not "deep" or "profound." It was "trite" and "heavyhanded

Bot here, too lazy to log in. James, it isn't the worst movie. But I share Bruce's above senitments exactly.

[Jethro Q. Walrustitty]

Bruce is right.

I love some of the comments on IMDB. The folks who love it accuse the hates of not liking movies that make you "think."

OK, let's think about it.

I think it makes no sense that somehow Agent Smith popped into the real world, when he nabbed the guy in Zion. WTF?
I think the keymaster character was pointless. Why does he exist? What does he do?
I think the guy who was "holding" the keymaster was pointless. Was he real? A program? What was his motivation? What was the motivation of his moll?
I think the twins had no explaination. Who are they? How do they get those powers? Are they like Agents, with computer-given superpowers? Or are they humans, like Neo and Morpheous, and are just better at "manipulating" the matrix? And why twins? Are two really better than one?
I think that Agent Smith was only there because he was the coolest thing in the first movie. Why couldn't Neo "explode" him again? Why does the movie cop out and admit that even the writers couldn't figure out a good reason for him to reappear? Why does Neo fight him for so long, then fly away? Why not fly away right away?
I think that it makes no sense that sentinels are "digging towards Zion" - when the sentinels travel exactly the same tunnels that the hovercrafts do, so why don't they just go through the same pathways? Wouldn't that be faster? It seems like it only takes a few minutes for the folks to go from Zion to the surface.
I think that it's odd that Neo needs to see the Oracle right when he finds out that the sentinels are digging. Why not before? What's so special?
I think that it's lame that they killed off Tank.
I think that the CGI effects were actually pretty bad. Neo's flying was unconvincing, and the two trucks crashing together and accordioning? Incredibly silly-looking, and Neo just happens to fly through at the exact millisecond to grab the other guys, who apparently don't have a problem being yanked away at, oh, 100+mph.

And so on and so forth.

Incredibly disappointing sequel - and pretty much devoid of plot.

As I said in my review - the beginning of the movie has the sentinels digging towards Zion, everyone's in danger.

Two and a half hours of fight scenes and snore-inducing speeches later: the sentinels are digging towards Zion, everyone's in danger.

I suggest that, in the future, you'll be able to watch the first and the third and not feel like you've missed anything.

[BLUE]

Straw and I tried to watch it on three different occasions and he fell asleep about 20 min. into the movie every time.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

My take:

I would imagine (and this is not a shot at you, James) that our illustrious Mr. Bond probably doesn't have the 25-35 years of hating 99% of Hollywood content that the rest of us do. I'm guessing that he's in the neighborhood of 18 years of age. Until you've had enough time to devour all the fantastically shitty content that there is out there, you can't go into a flick like Matrix:Reloaded ready to hate it.

All of us can, though.

In a way, I'm slightly envious. I'm getting to be as bad as the rest of you guys when it comes to movies. I had a lot of ground to makeup, but as I go and see some more "classics," based on some of the messages on this BBS, it kind of slides everything else down a bit. But inherently, I guess I don't want to be a movie fan that is the equivalent of a video game fan telling everyone how great Myst and Deer Hunter are.

[Roody_Yogurt]

I never thought I'd see the day, but I actually agree with James Bond and think that while not perfect, TMR took strides forward. It elevated the franchise from something that I didn't particularly care if I owned to being pretty sure that one day, I'll own them all so I can watch them when the mood strikes me.

I'm not surprised to hear that most of you hated it and don't really care to argue its merits, but listing all the things you didn't understand (when most of them were pretty obvious) is hardly an argument.

[Worm]

I've got to download this damn thing now.

[Lazy Walrustitty]

I'm not surprised to hear that most of you hated it and don't really care to argue its merits, but listing all the things you didn't understand (when most of them were pretty obvious) is hardly an argument.

If they were so obvious, how about explaining them?

Surely, you're not debating that the writers couldn't even figure out how to bring back Agent Smith, so in a fit of unprecendented laziness, had the character say that he didn't understand how it happened, either?

While you're about it, explain how obvious it was that the sentinels decided to spend several days drilling through the Earth rather than using ready-made tunnels that take them directly where they want to go?

And, how exactly do the sentinels move? There are no visible means of propulsion. They're obviously based on squids and/or octopi, but those move with their tentacles underwater, and that just plain doesn't work in the dry air.

Hey, I liked The Matrix. I'll even say that I liked it a lot. I was looking forward to the sequel, and until "bad buzz" started circulating, I was expecting a good time. The biggest problem is that it's so smugly, offensively pretentious. Reloaded did not live up to my expectations, and I think most agree.

"Or, maybe, you did not live up to the movie's expectations." -Morpheus

Signed... the TWO.

[Lazy Walrustitty]

I'm not surprised to hear that most of you hated it and don't really care to argue its merits, but listing all the things you didn't understand (when most of them were pretty obvious) is hardly an argument.

If they were so obvious, how about explaining them?

Surely, you're not debating that the writers couldn't even figure out how to bring back Agent Smith, so in a fit of unprecendented laziness, had the character say that he didn't understand how it happened, either?

While you're about it, explain how obvious it was that the sentinels decided to spend several days drilling through the Earth rather than using ready-made tunnels that take them directly where they want to go?

And, how exactly do the sentinels move? There are no visible means of propulsion. They're obviously based on squids and/or octopi, but those move with their tentacles underwater, and that just plain doesn't work in the dry air.

Hey, I liked The Matrix. I'll even say that I liked it a lot. I was looking forward to the sequel, and until "bad buzz" started circulating, I was expecting a good time. The biggest problem is that it's so smugly, offensively pretentious. Reloaded did not live up to my expectations, and I think most agree.

"Or, maybe, you did not live up to the movie's expectations." -Morpheus

Signed... the TWO.

[Goddammit.]

Slow network response meant that the submit button was pressed twice (as the first press timed out.)

That was not an attempt to be "The Two" by posting twice.

That'll teach me to not log in. Oh wait, I'm not now. Oops, guess it won't.

[Roody_Yogurt]

Spoiler-ific

I think it makes no sense that somehow Agent Smith popped into the real world, when he nabbed the guy in Zion. WTF?

When Neo entered Smith and destroyed him from within, during that meld of Matrix code or whatever, some of Neo's code was copied to Smith, pretty much giving him super-Agent powers and independence just as Neo is the super-human. So now Smith has the ability to copy himself completely over the personality of anyone logged into the Matrix and when he unjacks, he can walk around Zion freely.

[ sure, that answer may sound a bit ridiculous in itself. my personal justification will follow somewhere later ]


I think the guy who was "holding" the keymaster was pointless. Was he real? A program? What was his motivation?

Programs written to understand the human psyche have a mish-mash of human hang-ups and goals and desires. This is where the Matrix pays its best homage to Neuromancer. No longer are the AIs one happy family, but many different personalities working together or fighting eachother or whatever have you.


I think the twins had no explaination. Who are they? How do they get those powers? Are they like Agents, with computer-given superpowers? Or are they humans, like Neo and Morpheous, and are just better at "manipulating" the matrix? And why twins? Are two really better than one?

They're faulty programs with physics-breaking codebases, examples of a host of faulty programs responsible for most modern folklore, from ghosts to werewolves to vampires or whatever.

See, the thing that was great about the first Matrix wasn't that it was original in any way (because it wasn't); it was just that it stole a bunch of ideas from at least a dozen movies and threw them together well.

Now, it's adding depth to the enemy (and offering many shades of grey) and having fun trying to explain the unexplainable. To me, that's all good fun.

Sure, that dance scene was dumb and went on too long, as does some of those action sequences. I even spent the first ten minutes of the movie thinking, wow, this is going to totally blow, won't it, as it seems like I'm supposed to think it's cool that everyone is wearing the same shades and dorky clothes. Despite all that, though, I think the movie attempts to raise the bar in the right places and I enjoy it for that reason..