Fine, bitch.

[pinback]

That's just fine. You wanna work it like that? Noooo problemo, you goddamn lunatic. I can get drunk, come on this fucking website, into this very thread, and just babble myself silly any goddamn time I want and you can't do SHIT about it.

I can say WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT in this thread, and you can't do nothing. Sure, I'll wake up the next morning and be all ashamed and embarassed for myself that I did it, but right now, I can get on here and say all the stupid goddamn shit that I'd say to you in person if I thought it wouldn't immediately fuck up any hope of a future with you, which I'm sure there's not one of anyway, because you're such a fucking STUPID-ASS MOTHERFUCKING LUNATIC. You dumb, DUMB, skanky little fleabag whore, you.

God DAMMIT.

MAN, this is irritating. Do I sound irritated? I'm a little irritated. And it's just going to get worse. There's about a 1% chance this will ever get better. By my count, that leaves about 97% of a chance that it's going to get WORSE. And that's what I'm starting this thread for.

Can't say shit to HER.

Can't say shit to her FRIENDS.

Can't say shit to MY friends, because it comes across as lame-ass OMG FAG whining because I'm in a relationship that provides goddamn SEX whenever the hell I want, and COMPLAINING about it.

So, that's alright. I'll just come on here and say shit to fucking nobody. That's it, nobody.

Don't read this thread. You are BANNED from reading this thread, because I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the fucking ceiling, the fucking walls, but there's no record of those conversations, so here I can get it all down in writing so I can go back and look at it later and go "Jesus God, what a fucking shmuck" and learn from it.

Of course, in about an hour, I'll probably decide to delete this entire thread. Smart move, future Ben.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

...

I'd just like to say that fir--BANNED!

[bruce]

fucking STUPID-ASS MOTHERFUCKING LUNATIC. You dumb, DUMB, skanky little fleabag whore, you.

Details!

Bruce

[pinback]

WHAT, details? She wants to be FREE, don't you understand that? FREE AS A BIRD NOW!!!

Dumb fucking cocksmoking whore. FUCK.

Fuck.

Killin' me, man. Absolutely killin' me.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Are you talking about Shortcake there?

Or are you talking about somebody else? We're now to suppose and presume that all these second-person -- and public, yes -- posts are now to her? What the hell? If this is the case, just tell us! Don't leave us hanging here.

Man. Guy gets a little pussy and all of a sudden he becomes a real piece of sBANNED!

[pinback]

YES, all this is [going to be] to Little Miss Strawberry "I Can't Close My Mouth Because I'm Blowing Guys All Week" Shortcake.

So strap in. Or ON, if you're one of the countless other thumbdicked douchebags she's on her back for tonight.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

WHAT, details? She wants to be FREE, don't you understand that? FREE AS A BIRD NOW!!!

What do you mean by "now"? She wants to be freer than she was before? Someone get liker in here, because I think that only he has access to enough spare question marks to really do my questions justice.

Oh. You're probably just quoting that stupid song, regardless of the fact that it doesn't quite fit.

Dumb fucking cocksmoking whore. FUCK. Fuck.

If there's one sentiment I'd like to think that I have brought to the forefront, o my brothers, it's that chicks dig jerks. I believe this, but GODDAMN MAN. They dig jerks, not abusive sailors using language bluer than Violet Beauregarde having sex with the lead singer of INXS.

[Jack Straw]

WHAT, details? She wants to be FREE, don't you understand that? FREE AS A BIRD NOW!!!

Now and forever. She ain't gonna settle down. You can't make a ho a housewife. You have two choices here:
1.) Cut her off and don't fuck her any more
2.) Kill these thoughts of a monogomous relationship and accept the fact that you're nothing more than a piece of meat

One choice involves sex where the other doesn't. She's figured out how nonsensical it is to get wrapped up in all the bullshit, and is not going to change. Adapt or abort. 10-4.

[bruce]

Little Miss Strawberry "I Can't Close My Mouth Because I'm Blowing Guys All Week" Shortcake.

And <i>this</i> is exactly why she needs a) access to the JC BBS, and b) to come to Vegas with you for CGE2K3. I mean, after she sees all the shit here, you won't have to worry about whether or not to sacrifice your self-respect for the 'tang, because she'll stomp off in a huff, and after she comes to Vegas with you she'll be so stretched out by the rest of the oversexed JC BBS loons that she won't be much fun anyway.

Just sayin'.

Bruce

[pinback]

Look at this SAP. This inexcusable excuse for a human being. Look at you, man. Walking around all day with those goddamn puppy-dog eyes, feeling like you're carting a cannonball around in the pit of your stomach. It's disgusting.

It's disgraceful.

It's a goddamn disgrace.

I don't even know you anymore.

Motherfucker probably couldn't even break 100,000 on Galaga anymore.

[James Bond]

If I ever, ever need to seriously bitch someone out, Pinback, rest assured I will be taking notes from this thread.
You are the man. Thank you.

[pinback]

So, let's just recap, you insufferable twat. I spent my evening doing three things, and ONLY three things, as long as you don't count beefing up the post count on my base here:

1. Watched a romantic little number of a movie.

2. Drank.

3. AIMed to your friend telling me how, gee, you really like me and all, but you're just going through a phase here. A goddamn phase.

And I'm sitting here beating myself up all week because I WANT to say something to you, to express a little more clearly how I feel about you, but I CAN'T, because that would FUCK EVERYTHING UP? And you want me to have an evening like this and still sit here and hook a tube directly from my mouth to my ass so I can blow my meaningless, trifle little words directly up where they belong in the first place?

Well, forget it. Yeah, I wrote you a little email. A real nice one, too. Real short, just a little "good morning" email for you to read when you get into work tomorrow, that lets you know I'm thinking about you.

I'm supposed to apologize for this, now? Why the fuck do I feel I need to fucking apologize for telling a girl that I'm, for all intents and purposes, in stupid-ass love with, that I miss her?

She don't wanna hear it. My friends certainly don't want me to say it, because I'm not being cool. But, fuck, man. What kind of life is this? I'm an expressive person, for Christ's sake. I bottle enough stuff as it is, so much that you just know I'm going to snap eventually and take about 15-20 of you simpletons with me when I do it.

You aren't still reading this thread, are you? I thought I was clear on that.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

She don't wanna hear it. My friends certainly don't want me to say it, because I'm not being cool. But, fuck, man. What kind of life is this? I'm an expressive person, for Christ's sake. I bottle enough stuff as it is, so much that you just know I'm going to snap eventually and take about 15-20 of you simpletons with me when I do it.

You aren't still reading this thread, are you? I thought I was clear on that.

I don't know who made it to the end of that diatribe and who didn't, but bot, if you're keeping score, this is like the third time in the last seven days that Pinback has indirectly stated his intent to burn down your house.

You're in Japan and everything, but unfortunately our boy Pinner here might take to igniting the Ring of Fire around the Pacific and that'd be that.

OK, the following is for Ben:

You know, bud, there was a time when it was men who were stringing girls around and pretty much treating them the way you're currently getting treated. The way I see it, you have two options:

1) Invent a time machine
2) PUMP IT UP

The first one is probably the better option. You may not have the math and the equations to get that time machine working, but in the other case you certainly seem to have stumbled upon the fact that YUO=FAGOT.

Ahh, I'm "just funnin'" with you, buddy. Be sure to keep us posted and copy & paste her response! Dust off those semi-colon and "P" keys!

[pinback]

This is why I don't share anything with you people. You're all nasty, nasty, unfeeling, uncaring, horrible people.

Horrible.

Seriously, though. Stop reading this thread. I'll keep posting on it, but I don't want to hear about what a fag I am. I really don't. It's not cute, it's not funny, and no matter how much you believe it to be the case, it's not true.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Seriously, though. Stop reading this thread. I'll keep posting on it, but I don't want to hear about what a fag I am. I really don't. It's not cute, it's not funny, and no matter how much you believe it to be the case, it's not true.

Hey, hey... easy there, big fella!

I only made the YUO=FAGROIT crack because I was on an equations riff with the Time Machine. If you've seen the movie The Time Machine, you'd note that there was lots of dem dere EQUATIONS that Guy Pearce needed to get the thing working.

It wasn't anything personal, <strike>you fucking pole smoking dump humper</strike> my friend.

[pinback]

copy & paste her response!

======
AW, BEN!! YOU CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT TO GIRLS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT DOES TO THEM. LEMME TELL YOU, I'M LIKE JELLY.
======

Yeah. Good. Fine. Fuck you.

[bruce]

AW, BEN!! YOU CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT TO GIRLS! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT DOES TO THEM. LEMME TELL YOU, I'M LIKE JELLY.

Like <i>tuna</i> jelly?

Bruce

[pinback]

That's just fine. You wanna work it like that? Noooo problemo, you goddamn lunatic. I can get drunk, come on this fucking website, into this very thread, and just babble myself silly any goddamn time I want and you can't do SHIT about it.

Good heavens. I was in a bit of a state, wasn't I?

[Worm]

< ----- Jelly

Good luck to anyone who enjoys that.

If she was a guy, would you still want to bone her? There's the litmus test for if this is one of the more important relationships of your life.

[bruce]

If she was a guy, would you still want to bone her? There's the litmus test for if this is one of the more important relationships of your life.

That's an interesting litmus test.

I bet MONKEY MONKEY thinks so too.

Bruce