[ARMY OF LOVE] Pinback's Women II

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 6:41 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Does "Checky" know it's a date? Or just you? Or, more to the point, just us and you?

Well. I mean, whaddya call it? We're getting together for a cocktail, so yeah, I supposed it's not a whole "date" thing with dinner and a movie. But she said she "can't wait to meet me" and she "really likes my sense of humor". So, I mean, that lends a little "date overtone" to the proceedings, doesn't it?

Was the word "date" used at all when you set this meeting up?

Not per se, no.

But I'll tell you, WHATEVER you call it, it's an important first step, and one which I haven't taken in OVER THREE YEARS, as I said.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:09 pm

Dating is overrated anyway. I have been a much more happier person since I engaged, no, indulged in hook-ups. There is something to be said for waking up to that special person (and don't get me wrong, ultimately I hope to have that once again) but there's also something... well, many things to be said for hot, hot, AIMBOT, RRRRRrrrrRAILGUN action.

Wait, what?

Anyway, go get 'er, champ. I expect to hear all the gory details when you meet us for franks and cotton candy in Vegas on Friday.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:14 pm

You know what, man? I'll ask some of your buddies to chime in with the timelines of when they last dated. This should help put things in perspective.

Guys?

Angry Stewart Payne · Post by **Angry Stewart Payne** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:16 pm

I last had a date on February 14th, 1998.

And I threw her, too!

ben's cat frodo =) · Post by **ben's cat frodo =)** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:17 pm

hi ben =)
I'm neutered. no date.
ben let's get chinese tonight ok?
hi ben =)

Inappropriate Reply · Post by **Inappropriate Reply** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:18 pm

life's like a box of chocolates... you never know when you're gonna score!

seven years, three days for me. I celebrated the other night by engaging in some auto-asphixiation. HOT!

Robb's Dystopian Future · Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:19 pm

Robb will not have a date again until September 11th, 2007.

The future is cloudy, but there is a good chance that it will be a girl he takes to a funeral.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:20 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Wait, what?

Okay, that's real helpful? I'm just, I'm a little apprehensive here. Just a TOUCH APPREHENSIVE!!!

SLIGHTLY ON EDGE, YOU MIGHT SAY.

Anyway, go get 'er, champ. I expect to hear all the gory details when you meet us for franks and cotton candy in Vegas on Friday.

3 PM, Monte Carlo Brewpub. Be there. Do NOT fuck me on this.

Robb's Utopian Future · Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:21 pm

Sorry. I am reading September 11th, 2007 as well. But I have it as a Hatafat Dam Brit (he takes the older sister of the moil).

Still... better than... er... a funeral. ??

Robb's Dystopian Future · Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:21 pm

pinback wrote:3 PM, Monte Carlo Brewpub. Be there. Do NOT fuck me on this.

He and the rest of the chuds won't show up until 6:00 at least. Get yourself nicely drunk.

Robb's Utopian Future · Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:22 pm

Sigh... as always, I'll have to ask you to excuse my partner... he has a penchant for the dramatic...

I have him and the other three getting there early. As always, time will tell.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:24 pm

It might be time to restock the cupboard of gimmickry. Inappropriate Reply was like the third guy I could think of in terms of Ben's "Best On-Line, Yet Made-Up Friends."

Pretend that the DJ oinked and sasquatted his way around with one of his patented, terrible replies, if you could.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 7:51 pm

God DAMMIT I wish I could actually *look forward* to events like this. Gettin' out there, meetin' new people, gettin' the ARMY on the move. This is what it's all about!

Why can't I LOOK FORWARD to it!?!?

Why am I sitting here with all this NEGATIVE ENERGY shit happening?

Gotta stop this. There's gotta be exercises I can do to help out.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 8:16 pm

Yeah, kegel exercises, you huge hollow pussy.

Violet · Post by **Violet** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 8:18 pm

Are you going to force her to watch magnolia?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 8:20 pm

And if not, will you be bringing the DVD (disc one, presumably) along with you so that you'll be able to remind yourself that the pressure is off and if things don't work out, well, you'll always have "Maggie"?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Aug 05, 2003 8:47 pm

Alright, thanks everyone. Big help.

Is it any wonder I hate you all with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns?

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Wed Aug 06, 2003 3:16 am

Listen, Ben, you're gonna be fine! As you know, there are two ways of approaching a 1st Date:

1. She is a princess, and is treated with huge-eyed affection. Kinda creepy :(((.

2. She is a mate. An attractive mate, but one you can just have conversations with in a slightly-put-on deep booming voice. Chicks dig that.

So, you know, I think you'll be more comfortable with strategy two; your humor will shine thru.

Do not attempt to wet the wick.

Completely Off-Topic · Tue Aug 12, 2003 3:33 pm

Lex, if you're gonna be insanely vile and retarded, at least do it funny. LORD OF THE COCK RINGS, FAGNETO, something like that, God, you're pathetic.

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Tue Aug 12, 2003 4:42 pm

You know what's funny? I am the complete opposite of Worm, timeline-wise.

I was one funny bad-spelling little shit when I was young; and grew out of it because my love for comedy was smashed by people like you & Ben. Congratulations, you and your kind have ruined the Internet for everyone, by taking me from it. I hate you, and I hate the Internet. You're all a bunch of pathetic gobshites, and I'm better than you because I'm British, and I have enough culture to see me through an entire series of Big Brother, which is saying something, because that show sums up absolutley everything that is wrong with your culture; Your entire culture is like the lower-class filth we are trying to stamp out. My best friend is a Janitor's Son, and he stands with considerabley more dignity and self-respect than most of your members-of-cabinet. I hate you all so much, that I am going to burn this computer, and never come back here.

You can all go to hell, or Wyoming, or whatever the hell you call it.

Have a nice fucking life in Ratardsville. I am going to go and speak to some sophistacated people rading my dustbin.