Abandonware / The Worst Paragraph I Ever Wrote

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

OK, first off, there is a "new" abandonware site that has a ton of software. It's right here:

http://aw.localhost.ee/aw/

This shouldn't imply that there's any sort of pro or anti "abandonware" bias to the site. I don't care what we decide to talk about. But that site at least has not descended into popup hell, so there's that.

But anyway, one of the games they have up is Knight Orc.

I wrote a "review" of Knight Orc for the Knight Orc Home Page, back when that was being hosted by Geocities, and back when that was the only web presence that I had. It's really not a good review. I sent it into SPAG because I -- at the time -- thought that it was good enough for public release, and I really wanted to get the word on the game out.

Since then, the review has been appropriated by the Home of the Underdogs, and then at this new site. The last bit, where I compare Knight Orc to a "woman" -- JESUS CHRIST. I won't say that's the worst thing I've ever written, but it's freaking cringeworthy. It doesn't make any sense, it reaches too far and the analogy is horrible.

Plus, everyone cuts off how I ended the review, saying how it was the best game under Reagan's turn of power, cleverly allowing it to come up behind the three games superior to it, that being Zork I, X-COM I and Duke Nukem 3D.

Sometimes, the permanence of the net is not exactly a good thing.

[Roody_Yogurt]

Hehe, yeah, I sometimes visit that site because it has lower morals than Underdogs as far as what games are available. I kind of feel the same way about my Fahrenheit 451 review, even if I did write it for Underdogs and have only ever written one review that I'm satisfied with. For my 'nobeard' review, I both feel extremely dorky for quoting song lyrics in the last paragraph and the sabre of d00d joke always comes off as really gay.

[looper]

My girlfriend would go nuts over this thread, as she loves to find homoerotic themes in hypermasculine narratives (i.e. in action flicks, or...*ahem* text adventure games (right; I'm the only one in this household that has any sort of nostalgic attachments or cultural affinities to those; but yeah...), etc.).

[Lex 2]

Seriously, did you just become Scottish? I mean, what the hell was that?

[Guest]

Seriously, did you just become Scottish? I mean, what the hell was that?

What's wrong with that guy?

But seriously; see how much they rated zork.

Fucking Zork!

Anyone who gives 3.7 to this kind of game does not deserve to have a website. Or, as Robb would say, to acces Teh InterWebnette.[/i]

[James Bond, pissed off]

They can't fucking do that.
Seriously.
SThey just steal your review from Spag without asking or even *telling* you? And they *alter* the damn thing to suit their own oppinions? That's fucking lawsuit material, man. Don't fuck around, tell them that you've noticed their plagurism, bitch, and demand to have it removed or you will get lawyers.
People like this piss me off.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Well, they removed the very gay praise-singings on my part. (The Reagan bit.) I quite liked that bit. It was the only part of the review I was 100% happy with. So I don't think they changed anything.

I am not too worked up, as my name isn't there. If it were attached to it, I'd probably offer to re-write it, because it's just so terribly written as a whole.

Also, to my good friend Lex: I have never used the term "InterWebnette." I don't know where you are getting that from.

[Rutherford P. Jenkins IV]

Need I say more.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I don't know who you are, but you nevertheless have the aura of someone who is right a lot more often than you are not. I will follow your lead on this issue.

I would also enjoy it if you put me on whatever "mailing list" you might have. Or, if you happen to engage in the creation of a physical, paper "zine." Just something to think about, my good man.

[LexX0r]

This site does not work for me. Someone download s tuff so I can leach it.