Thank you, Jolt Country

k. roo · Post by **k. roo** » Fri May 02, 2003 2:47 pm

Let me start with saying that I'm not the most articulate guy, so this will be brief. I also haven't gotten laid as much as I would have liked as of late (hats off, Horus P.) which is something to keep in mind. And while I'm not quite Clash's vintage, otherwise I do seem to be the senior around here.

And so it has happened that I have during the last two weeks lived through one of the more grotesque episodes of my life. As a gentleman I won't go into details. However, I'd like to focus on one particular and - to me - surprising aspect, dirty talk. It has been an integral part of the experience, and no, I'm not talking about phone sex by the way.

I would not have been able to do it without you. Time and again I caught myself drawing from the thick stream of eloquence spurting from the well of wisdom that is Jolt Country. Be it ICJ's effortless improvisations on just about anything, loafergirl spilling the beans on the secret wymyn's lodge, GAY FINGER's bluntness in stating the obvious, or Bruce giving fatherly advice on the timing of gratification, to name just a precious few, each single one of you in your own particular way has helped to almost make my heart failure a success. Even Ben's cat Frodo helped in one sticky situation with his curiously evocative style, and let's not forget our friend the ROCKER, who, ever the german sedan of Jolt Country reliability, even in adverse situations, propelled everyone to rock, and rock, and rock.

Thank you, Jolt Country.

Audience · Post by **Audience** » Fri May 02, 2003 3:06 pm

[cheers]

James Bond · Post by **James Bond** » Sat May 03, 2003 12:08 pm

I feel so... unloved... *cries*
Just kidding. I usually just don't have much to talk aobut around here. (I thought this was a text adventure review board! Get the fuck off, you damn... um... uh... <searches for grave insult>... *un-IF-playing*... *people*!)
So, um... yeah. I'm sorry: this post actually has no point whatsoever. I'm just wasting all your time with completely pointless strings of word. Seriously. Go away. There's nothing to be seen here.

I like smocks.

drlrccctcsrl

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Sat May 03, 2003 12:15 pm

*Presses CTRL+F* *Types in "Worm"* *No results*

Frankly, I'd feel it wierd if my posts on a message board helped ANYONE though I am glad something happened ... whatever it was.

k. roo · Post by **k. roo** » Wed May 07, 2003 5:16 pm

Last night, while I was driving home, I had an epiphany. The whole issue of Jolt Country being my only source of creative input, well, frankly, I don't know, where was i going with this. Oh right, epiphany.

See, I know the exact moment that precipitated the message that started this thread. Not that I remember what day it was (ok, probably the day before I wrote that), or maybe the hour (evening, actually), but at that moment I had an epiphany.

Before that epiphany, I had frivolously said something silly, and I said it in jest, I swear. It came off my tongue entirely without assistance, just as though it had been a familiar part of my vocabulary of being ridiculous for years.

At the first epiphany, I suddenly realized - or so I thought - that what I actually had done was to quote ICJ. That came as quite a revelation (it was an epiphany after all) and led on to deeper musing about a number of things I had said and done at the same time. Hence the enthusiastic message at the top of this thread, which is, let me assure you still entirely valid.

But then I had another epiphany. Last night, I was musing again. In the car. Driving home. Suddenly - and this is going to have a much greater shock value than the first epiphany, at least if you're even remotely as sensitive as I am - I realized - or so I thought - that it was not ICJ whom I was quoting. And it wasn't Jolt Country either. It (the subject of the first epiphany) had been lodged in my brain for much longer than I had been aware of JC. So who and what was it, you ask?

It was Ben. And I quoted the narrator of Aggravatron.

So there I am, hang my head in shame. Go ahead. Make fun of me. It's not like it matters anyway.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu May 08, 2003 1:17 am

What was the quote? Don't leave us hanging, here.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu May 08, 2003 1:22 am

I'll also throw my own take on this in here. From time to time I have been known to say something aloud that originated on the Internet. Usually, it's a "catch phrase" that I've seen repeated so many times I develop some sort of sick Pavlovian response somewhere and cannot help myself. I am trying to think of what the last one to "bridge the gap" between reality and... well, unreality, or whatever this all is, was.

But I can't remember. I remember irritating my brother, so I'd ask him what it was, but he's asleep. The " :( " catch phrase on here does tend to not translate well to the spoken language. So we've got that going for us.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Thu May 08, 2003 2:46 am

For some reason, I usually start saying something a year (usually two) after it was popular. I think it was the same way when I started saying 'assjack' to my friends (after hearing it in CDJ, don't know how long you guys knew it)... funny, I haven't said that in a while.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Thu May 08, 2003 3:09 am

All Your Base Are Belong To Us!

If that aint internet spread like a case of space rabies then I dont know what is.

THE
MUST BE TRUE
CAUSE I SEEN IT ON THE WEB
AARDVARK

James Bond · Post by **James Bond** » Thu May 08, 2003 4:26 pm

Me and a friend of mine have taken to the habbit of yelling out one-liners from horribly-obscure Japanese anime/hentai whenever someone does something that somehow coincides with the events in said... work. Its very amusing, actually; we'll yell out some line, then burst into uncontrolable histerics. Meanwhile, the person who started the whole damn thing is looking at us as if to say "... just what exactly the fuck is wrong with you people, you damn freaks?"
Heh. But, anyway. I must be leaving now; my homework has proceeded to start sucking like a french hooker. (can we say "hooker" in this base?)

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Thu May 08, 2003 4:58 pm

James Bond wrote:Its very amusing, actually; we'll yell out some line, then burst into uncontrolable histerics.

You know, I would really like to get an example of this.

May we?

James Bond · Post by **James Bond** » Thu May 08, 2003 7:31 pm

There's this horribly obscure hentai movie on the Internet... *somewhere*... called "f3". It contains, as most Japanese hentai does, steriotypical lesbian Japanese women speaking English with more of a Japanese accent than real Japanese people. One of the "episodes" consists of one of the characters getting frustrated that she can't, for whatever reason, come to an orgasm. So, naturally, all of her "friends" decide to help her! Tee hee hee! So, at this point, the landlord of the apartment suddenly bursts into the room in the middle of all this, poses dramatically in some sort of freaky bondage gear, and shrieks with a lens flare or two coming off her "THE BEST IN ALL JAPAN!" She then proceeds to yellout something about how how dare these girls do [whatever] to this other chick in her home? Something like that, I don't exactly know. Then she yells something along the lines of "God may forgive you, but I will not!" She then proceeds to do something which we really can't go into on this R-rated forum to each girl, taking about a half a second as she yells out the enegmatic catchphrase "THERE! THERE! THERE!" ...Yeah. So, whenever someone does something vaguely self-promoting, one of us will immedietly shout out "THE BEST IN ALL JAPAN!"

...Yeah. Did I ever tell you that we are both documentally insane? :-)