B Movie Horror ReViews: The Compilation

[RetroRomper]

I wasn't able to sleep last night due to fireworks dancing in my head and because I was enjoying my first subsequent two weekdays off since I started this job October of last year. Thus while I was dicking around Kickstarter, Starcraft II and playing through Earthworm Jim 3D, I had Netflix streaming random horror movies in the background.

Spoiler: they were all pretty bad! Interesting, but beyond filling my desire for a few quick thrills (wanted nothing more than Blair Witch style story progression and creepy scenery) they really didn't "add" anything to my life.

Lets begin!

Cabin in the Woods: After being engaged in "post release hype," I was actually looking forward to seeing this film simply because it was supposed to by the "alternate horror film" in satirical comparison to the gore-sploitation genre (Hostel, Saw, etc). The beginning was surprising then, as they flashed the usual tits, ass and panties that prompts me to skip around a horror film, but it picks up rather quickly twenty minutes into the film.

Anyway... Enjoyed the monsters, the engaging plot and the fact the movie spoofed every other slasher flick in how they incorporated the horror genre stereotypes into the movie, essentially framing every previous film as an extension of their own plot device.

**** our of ***** stars

Hostel III: The location has moved from Eastern Europe to Las Vegas, as the "Death Hound Club" that tortures and kills victims appears to be a franchise operation, leaving me feeling less alienated and powerless than when the main characters were essentially stranded far away from home. the films.

So when they rip someones face off forty minutes in, I didn't empathize with the characters feeling of helplessness since they weren't exactly far away from home. Its probably for the best, because then every subsequent scene culminates in a mini snuff film without much ado to anything except scantily clad Vegas prostitutes, or even the physical suffering of the previous films that was as close to character development the series has ever offered.

Bonus points for vague homages to the Evil Dead series, but there wasn't any real plot, story or character development to the film (besides a rather obvious device that served to gather everyone together).

** out of ***** stars

More to come!

[lethargic]

"flashed the usual tits, ass and panties that prompts me to skip around a horror film"

You mean skip around to GET to those parts, right?