Masters Week Thread (2013)

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:27 am

LET'S GO BITCHES. FIRE IT UP. PIMENTO CHEESE AND ARNOLD PALMERS FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER.

FIRE IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 2:22 pm

MASTERS WEEK, WEDNESDAY UPDATE
------------------------------------------------

As of 5:30 PM Eastern, everyone is tied for the lead with a score of 0, because the tournament doesn't start until tomorrow.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:49 pm

Alright, let's go. Let's GO.

Let's DO THIS FUCKING THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tiger Woods · Post by **Tiger Woods** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:14 pm

wrote:How the fuck did it do that?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:28 pm

Tiger Woods wrote:
wrote:How the fuck did it do that?

That was awesome.

DAY 1 UPDATE
------------------
1. No-name "Marc Leishman" on top at -6.
2. Sergio BARF-cia in second at -5.
3. Tiger tied for tenth-ish at -2.
4. Phil currently at +2, lol.
5. Still another hour or two to go.
6. Tiger broadcasted F-bomb count: 1 (see above).

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:10 pm

DAY 2 UPDATE
=================

Tiger was tied for the lead, and hit his best shot of the day.

Here it is:

[youtube][/youtube]

As a result he's now three back.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

Cheater says fuck? · Post by **Cheater says fuck?** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:05 pm

wrote:How the fuck did I do that?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:48 pm

Cheater says fuck? wrote:
wrote:How the fuck did I do that?

"Cheater", really? How did you find your way here from Yahoo Sports?

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:41 pm

THAT GODDAM MASTERS THEME SONG IS NOW BURNED INTO MY HEAD but I can live with it for another day.

THE
BE COOL
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Sun Apr 14, 2013 5:15 pm

Tiger finished at -5. -9 would have gotten him into a playoff.

The 15th hole on Friday cost him four strokes, because he hit the pin with his best shot of the tournament.

NOBODY mentioned this on the wrapup broadcast on CBS: "Tiger just didn't quite have it going this week." HE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE PLAYOFF IF HE HADN'T HIT THAT TOO-GOOD SHOT INTO 15.

Look, Adam Scott would have won it anyway with that putt to win it on #10, whatever. But the story of this Masters was the flagstick on #15, and how it just happened to get into the way of the shot that would have been the beginning of the end for everyone else in the field.

Oh well, Congrats Adam Scott on a thrilling victory (it was!) Anti-congrats to his caddy, Stevie Williams, who manages still to be a butt-hurt dickhole even though he made millions of dollars by carrying a black man's golf clubs.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:23 pm

Stevie is a girl's name. Like Stevie Case.

Quinn Z. DeAngelo · Post by **Quinn Z. DeAngelo** » Wed May 08, 2013 5:46 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Stevie is a girl's name. Like Stevie Case.

Or Stevie Nicks.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed May 22, 2013 5:45 pm

MMMMMmmm, fried chicken!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed May 22, 2013 11:07 pm

Our local station did five hours today on "why do we spend so much time on the stupid comments of these stupid athletes!?!!?!"

Five hours, they asked their listeners that.

OUTRAGED!

WHY DO WE, THIS SHOW THAT HAS SPENT THE LAST FIVE HOURS TALKING ABOUT THIS DUMB GODDAMN IDIOT, SPEND FIVE HOURS TALKING ABOUT THIS DUMB GODDAMN IDIOT!

None of them mentioned the irony. They just took five hours of phone calls telling them how RIGHT they were to not even bring up what these dumb racist idiots had to say.

For five hours.

Somewhere, in his grave, Don Rogers is crying.

And playing a fart sound.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Thu May 23, 2013 5:25 am

And eating fried chicken.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri May 24, 2013 6:31 pm

It's good to be Da Tiger

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Fri May 24, 2013 9:37 pm

I just don't understand how in all this "controversy" nobody has bothered to ask Tiger Woods if he likes fried chicken. That would be my first question if I was a reporter.

Well....DO you like fried chicken?

I mean, if he likes it, then what's the problem? Everybody is just being polite and offering the man fried chicken. I'd love some fried chicken myself.

Actually that would be my 2nd question. My first would be did you get a black pecker or an asian pecker? That would suck so much to if he got the asian one.

I would probably get fired.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri May 24, 2013 10:43 pm

Don't be a fucking idiot, and enjoy this for all it's worth.

1. No, you can't say "we'll invite the black guy over for fried chicken" without some well-deserved blow-back. Fuzzy Zoeller has still not recovered, sixteen years later. I mean, yeah, we can go the "everyone needs to lighten up" route, but that's... that's pretty goddamn bad.

2. But the very BEST part of this is the European Tour CEO sticking up for Sergio by explaining that most of his friends are colored. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened. I can't believe how great this is. A dumb goddamn European makes the world's second most racist comment, and then he gets backed up by another stupid goddamn European making the world's most racist comment trying to defend him.

Oh my god, is this great. HAHHAHAHahaha. Clueless Rich White People is the name of my next metal band.

lethargic · Post by **lethargic** » Fri May 24, 2013 11:14 pm

Colored is the world's most racist comment? I wouldn't even put that in the top ten. I blow that away every time I get stuck in traffic.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri May 24, 2013 11:24 pm

Do you see any humor in a guy defending another guy's racist comment by saying, it's okay, he has lots of colored friends?

Any unintentional humor there? At all? No?