The 2012 Off Season NBA Thread

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jul 25, 2012 10:35 pm

This thread will mostly be used to declare Dwight Howard a piece of shit.

Dwight Howard reiterated to Orlando Magic general manager Rob Hennigan on Wednesday during a meeting in Los Angeles that he still wants to be traded and will leave as a free agent after next season.

NO SHIT, ASSHOLE. WOW, REALLY? YOU STILL WANT A TRADE?

I've never seen anything like this before. He got his coach, Van Gundy, fired. Wasn't enough for him. He went to the finals in 2009, but that wasn't enough for him. He plays in Florida, that isn't enough for him.

And now he wants to be traded AND test free agency. Holy shit, the fucking audacity of this asswag. Nobody is going to trade for you (except the Lakers, I guess) if you are ALSO determined to "test" free agency. Just shut the fuck up and play basketball in Orlando for a year if being a free agent is so important.

These guys have everything a human being could ever want, but they need to the attention that being a free agent gets them.

Along the same lines, fuck Dwight Howard for this reason: everyone in the NBA is getting their buddies to play with them. It is DWIGHT HOWARD'S problem and ONLY his problem if he feels his team-mates aren't good enough in Orlando. If that indeed is a reason why he is weeping like a honeysuckled pussy to get out of town. I no longer fault NBA general managers for not "building a winner." These socially awkward aspie idiots have only themselves to blame for not getting some of their friends to go to Florida to play with each other. If someone offered to move me to a tropical paradise where I would hardly be doing any work, I'd jump on that in a s-- ah shit

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Thu Jul 26, 2012 6:29 am

But he does the cutest Charles Barkley impression!

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Thu Jul 26, 2012 8:41 am

Maybe he will show the NBA what he can do while playing in the Olympics!

Oh.

Well, that's understandable. He probably hurt it in the playoffs. You know, a lot of guys ...

Oh.

Well, even with his bad back, that doesn't mean he's out. With his free throws he can ...

Oh. 60%.

GOOD LUCK, DWIGHT!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:06 pm

I still can't believe he wants a trade and isn't going to sign an extension with anyone AND is crying about it. This has been going on for 10 months.

Credit where credit is due: you never once heard LeBron complain about living in Cleveland, and Howard can't accept the everyday horror of Orlando.

Let me check the weather report...

It will be between 93 and 97 all week. Why is no one thinking of this man in his time of crisis?!?!

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:41 pm

Sorry, I couldn't hear you. When I got into my truck today the temperature said 106 and my brain melted.

Also, I live here for a lot less than $20m per season.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 7:43 am

“It’s pretty clear: It’s a little awkward right now for Kobe. Every team post-Shaq he’s been on has been all his. The Lakers are his and the 2008 Beijing Redeem Team was unquestionably his. Now, this is LeBron’s team. And after that, Durant’s team. After that, Chris Paul’s and Deron Williams’ and Carmelo Anthony’s team,” Royce Young writes for CBS Sports. “Somewhere down the line, you’d list Kobe out. He’s a forgotten piece on this loaded roster. And I don’t say that to slight him. It’s just reality as you watch these games. He’s so uninvolved offensively that you wonder what his role actually is.”

http://stream.wsj.com/story/london-olym ... S-2-43650/

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Fri Aug 10, 2012 7:42 pm

I cut/pasted this from abcnews.com:

Dwight Howard trade
Team trades are never simple, and the move that sent Dwight Howard from the Orlando Magic to the Los Angeles Lakers was no exception. The Denver Nuggets and Philadelphia 76ers were more than bystanders, while the Magic gave up the heart of their team and the Lakers reasserted themselves as contenders.

DENVER NUGGETS

Gave up: guard Arron Afflalo, forward Al Harrington, 2014 first-round draft pick

Received: guard Andre Iguodala

LOS ANGELES LAKERS

Gave up: center Andrew Bynum, forward Josh McRoberts, forward Christian Eyenga, 2017 first-round draft pick

Received: center Dwight Howard, guard Chris Duhon, forward Earl Clark

ORLANDO MAGIC

Gave up: center Dwight Howard, guard Jason Richardson, guard Chris Duhon, forward Earl Clark

Received: guard Arron Afflalo, forward Al Harrington, center Nikola Vucevic, forward Josh McRoberts, forward Christian Eyenga, forward Maurice Harkless, 2014 first-round draft pick, 2017 first-round draft pick, future first-round draft pick

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

Gave up: guard Andre Iguodala, center Nikola Vucevic, forward Maurice Harkless, future first-round draft pick

Received: center Andrew Bynum, guard Jason Richardson

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Aug 11, 2012 9:53 pm

Why the Christ would the Magic give up Howard and not get Bynum in return?

Why the Christ would the Nuggets help the Lakers in ANY way?

Why the fuck are teams letting the Lakers get away with this shit?

I can't wait until that maggot Howard enters free agency and signs with the Lakers anyway, because he's a piece of shit and a fucking baby. Wow, way to go, you got your trade and got to go into free agency, it's a shame that everyone thinks you're more of a pussy than LeBron ever was.

When my brother came to Colorado, he met some guys and put together a softball team. He had us all in one league above our collective skill level. (My brother could play softball for his country, the rest of us... could not.) Under no circumstances would I EVER have wanted to play with any of the piece-of-shit dickwad pricks we played against. I would rather not exist. Virtually every team was filled with sneering cumstains who didn't understand that the best softball player in the history of the world would still be the universe's worst baseball player. I hesitate to even call softball a sport.

And yet, here are guys like Howard, Nash and Ichiro trying to scam a cheep I mean cheap championship.

I guess we're all supposed to still think Steve Nash is a great dude, but no, he instantly became as unlikable as Bosh, James and Wade. God, I couldn't spend two seconds in the same room as Kobe Bryant, how can anyone choose to work with him?

And the three dumbfuck teams that went along with this let them keep Gasol, who they shouldn't have anyway.

Flack, it's a good thing you are a fan of the Oklahoma City Thunder. They are the only good thing about the league and I mean that sincerely. Durant and Westbrook not wadding their fists in their eyes and spraying blue teardrops out until they get traded to the Knicks, Lakers or Heat makes them so completely the "good guys" in that league that nothing else comes close.

I would now like to talk about the haunted hotel in Oklahoma City, and I hope that one of the ghosts there skullfucks Dwight Howard until he pisses ether.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Sun Aug 12, 2012 1:31 am

It's the Skirvin Plaza. Susan and I stayed there a few years ago on our anniversary. It's really fancy. I have never seen a ghost there, but my friend saw Vince Neil there once. When Vince Neil dies I will stay there again because I think a hotel haunted by Motley Crue sounds like the basis of a kick ass Scooby Doo episode.

One too many wine coolers. I'm going to bed.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:55 am

I've read some articles about the trade. Well, one or two. I like that NOW people are saying that the Lakers would have totally fleeced New Orleans for Chris Paul. Because at the time there were all sorts of hipsters saying, "Actually, the Lakers were giving the Hornets the better deal!!!!" Of fucking course they weren't. They're the Lakers. The rest of the league NEVER MAKES THEM PAY ENOUGH FOR PLAYERS.

Do you not hate this aspect of the NBA, Flack? Do you not brim and burst with hatred??

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:56 am

Arrrrrrrghhnnnnngh!!!!