Coincidences don't exist

straw man · Post by **straw man** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:17 pm

Anyone who says God is not alive, working, and in control of all is either not paying attention or SO FAR OFF THE PATH that they are blind.

I'll try to keep this brief, but my wife and I are going through a separation. It's been 2 months of uncertainty and improving myself, waiting patiently for her to even BEGIN to communicate where she's coming from. We were supposed to go on a family road trip this week and that didn't happen for various reasons.

Since I had "prepped" the family wagon and still had off work all week, I decided to take a road trip by myself (well me and the dog) to have some time alone and think things through. Originally I was going to TX, to visit my brother, but he had already called and talked me out of it - too far a drive for 1 person on my timeframe. I actually had a 1 night stay booked in Gulf Shores, Alabama as an alternative. About Southern Ohio I had decided I can't live like this and sent my wife a text saying enough's enough, we need to make a decision. I asked her if she wanted a divorce.

Come Kentucky, I got the response. "yeah". The *very next state* was Tennessee, where I was planning on visiting some family of hers and talking with them about the situation. But now that I had an answer and knew what I was doing, the purpose of the road trip was fulfilled. I turned around and had a safe trip home. 2 seconds after I got the reply, Grateful Dead's Touch of Gray came on the radio. If you're not familiar with it, here's some lyrics:

See you got your list out
Guess I got the gist of it.. but.. it's alright

Every silver lining's got a touch of gray

It's a lesson to me.
It's alright.
I will get by. We will survive.

Coincidence?
Come home to reports of tornadoes in Tennessee and 200 people dead in Alabama.

Coincidence?

For the 1st time in 2 months, my older daughter's mother ISN'T taking her, I find out, so I get to work on visitation plans. In the end, not only do I get to take my older girl out for the Friday fish fry I've been trying to make happen for 2 MONTHS, I also get the baby overnight Saturday, then get to take my older one to church on Sunday.

AWESOME! Think my time would have been better spent in TX, AL, or TN? I don't. I wish every weekend could be like this.

Then, I take care of some business, take a nap, wake up and go to 7PM church service. I got a LOT out of it.. basically the importance of prayer, which I had been questioning on the road trip. It was literally the direct answers to my questions.

Another coincidence?

THEN, if all that wasn't enough, as soon as I step in the door I hear a Bob Dylan song playing on the radio I've never heard before. I thought I had heard every song in his library, but not this one. Maybe I've never really listened to the lyrics but here they are:

She left here last early Spring, is livin' there, I hear

Say for me that I’m all right though things get kind of slow
She might think that I’ve forgotten her, don’t tell her it isn’t so

We had a falling-out, like lovers often will
And to think of how she left that night, it still brings me a chill
And though our separation, it pierced me to the heart
She still lives inside of me, we've never been apart

If you get close to her, kiss her once for me
I always have respected her for doin' what you did and gettin' free
Oh, whatever makes her happy, I won't stand in the way
Though the bitter taste still lingers on from the night I tried to make her stay

I see a lot of people as I make the rounds
And I hear her name here and there as I go from town to town
And I’ve never gotten used to it, I’ve just learned to turn it off
Either I'm too sensitive or else I'm gettin' soft

Sundown, yellow moon, I replay the past
I know every scene by heart, they all went by so fast
If she’s passin’ back this way, I'm not that hard to find
Tell her she can look me up if she's got the time

ANOTHER coincidence? That's a lot of coincidences over just a couple days, people.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Mon May 02, 2011 10:21 pm

Dude, very sorry to hear this.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon May 02, 2011 10:23 pm

I don't want that crazy bastard anywhere near me, are you serious? Jesus Christ. Don't tell people where I live.

NOBODY TELL PEOPLE WHERE I LIVE.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon May 09, 2011 4:12 pm

It is with a saddened, heavy heart that I read this news, my friend. I had no idea anything was up with you and Marcie. This is terrible to hear, and sucks a lot.

I'll be back in Rochester in a couple weekends. Let's catch up then.

I am now, and shall always be...

YOUR FRIEND,

Robb

js · Post by js » Mon May 09, 2011 6:26 pm

I am being forced with a decision at work: Take a layoff or temporarily relocate out of town. I am temporarily relocating out of town.

Marcie has agreed to come by each day and get the mail, let the dog out/feed the bastard, and check the sump in the basement to make sure it doesn't flood.

Hopefully this will be the needed step to get her to cut the umbilical cord and move back out of her mom's house. We shall see. And I will keep you... UPDATED!!!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon May 09, 2011 6:48 pm

Jesus Christ.

Here's some totally unhelpful, yet honest advice - take the first opportunity to get the fuck out of Rochester. Nobody is saying you have to do it forever, but get the fuck out for a little bit.

Identify five or six places you've either visited and loved, or always thought you might like, and see if they're hiring in your line of work. This dregs of society bullshit that Rochester wears like an Activision Badge of Honor is bullshit. Christ, it's depressing to see Rochester's awful economy drive off every last person there.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Mon May 09, 2011 6:50 pm

If your relocation travels ever bring you across I-40, let me know and I'd love to buy you dinner and meet another member of Jolt Country!

js · Post by js » Mon May 09, 2011 6:54 pm

Well, we're both on the mortgage and it's underwater, we both owe around $62,500 so we need to decide what we're doing with the house first.

She wants to do a "short sale" but obviously doesn't understand how real estate works.. HSBC just refinanced for 10 grand more than we bought the house for so they've never been in a better position. We could sell it privately but best case scenario then we each owe at least 5 grand.

I had it up for sale and got 1 bite, 1 more than I expected. Been keeping up with the mortgage but I'm not going to be able to starting this month. If we can't work it out I'm just going to let it default, NY has one of the longest foreclosure processes in the country. I'd be able to stay here for at least another year while banking (well, hiding under the mattress) the would be mortgage payment.

It all hinges on Marcie really.

js · Post by js » Mon May 09, 2011 7:02 pm

That reminds me - does anyone in the Rochester area have a rototiller I could use tomorrow? I've got a bunch of tomatoes and peppers plants etc. that I want to get in the ground before I leave tomorrow night, and my normal buddy has loaned his out already. Got a quote in from some company to come do it for 40 bucks but I doubt they can do it tomorrow.

I can give you my commodore 128 in exchange for the tiller usage.

Tdarcos · Post by **Tdarcos** » Tue May 10, 2011 8:27 am

js wrote:Well, we're both on the mortgage and it's underwater, we both owe around $62,500 so we need to decide what we're doing with the house first.

She wants to do a "short sale" but obviously doesn't understand how real estate works.. HSBC just refinanced for 10 grand more than we bought the house for so they've never been in a better position. We could sell it privately but best case scenario then we each owe at least 5 grand.

I had it up for sale and got 1 bite, 1 more than I expected. Been keeping up with the mortgage but I'm not going to be able to starting this month. If we can't work it out I'm just going to let it default, NY has one of the longest foreclosure processes in the country. I'd be able to stay here for at least another year while banking (well, hiding under the mattress) the would be mortgage payment.

It all hinges on Marcie really.

You don't need to hide money under the mattress. Spend about $200 and incorporate or form an LLC in New York. Then open a business checking account in the corporation or LLC's name. Put the money in that. It's not your money, it's the corporation's so it can't be attached if you get sued. If you set up a non-stock corporation (not non profit) you're just an employee and you don't own stock and that can't be attached either.

What you need to do before the foreclosure is see about getting some other place, perhaps. You might have a hard time renting a place or buying something in the future if you show a foreclosure proceeding.

Also, get as much of your stuff out of the place ahead of time. You want to have as little as possible to be damaged when the sheriff does come to evict you. Find an inexpensive storage facility and leave everything you don't need there. In fact, to make it easier, consider storing or selling your furnishings and renting them.

Also, you could turn the utilities off, pay the final bill, then have them turned back on in the corporation's name. That way, if you have a problem and stop paying, it's the corporation's credit that gets damaged; yours stays pristine as far as the utility is concerned.

Or you could set up a couple of corporations. I just thought, you don't even need a New York corporation. If you pay $100 a year plus postage, you can set up a mail service and incorporate for this purpose in a cheap state since you're not conducting business you don't have to be incorporated in New York or authorized to do business there. (Holding corporate meetings is not considered "doing business").

Colorado is one of the cheapest at $50, you can incorporate in 10 minutes with a web browser and a credit card. Then you just need a Taxpayer ID for the corporation which you can get from the IRS website. The corporation's home address doesn't have to be in the state where it's incorporated. And if you do no business in Colorado it's the same as a Nevada corporation, you pay no tax and you don't file a state income tax return.

As long as you don't sign a personal guarantee for anything only the corporation is liable for anything in its name. You are not. And if you keep a Colorado corporation more than a year, the yearly renewal is only $10.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:38 pm

Jesus fucking christ.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 3:19 am

After reading the news today, this is suddenly a much sadder thread.

THE
TOTALLY SPEECHLESS
AARDVARK

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:07 am

jeez man, I hadnt seen Adam in like 10 years, wish I had made an effort to befriend him, sounds like he had a lot going on in his head. What a horrible horrible thing.

Flack-iPad · Post by **Flack-iPad** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:09 am

I'm sorry for you guys' loss. It was obvious in some of his posts that the guy had gone through some bad times, but I was hoping things were going to start looking up for him. Even though I wasn't close to the guy, this has really hung a dark cloud over my entire day. Bum deal.

CO · Post by CO » Wed Sep 07, 2011 3:01 pm

Wow, I am just stunned. I just can't believe he did that. My stomach is sick just thinking about it.

RealityCheck · Post by **RealityCheck** » Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:54 pm

It seemed like he had his priorities straight, in all of this. 'I need to get to a better place, I love my daughters, and I will be a better man for them.' What...the FUCK went wrong with that? Things may have worsened but he was handling it with forethought and care. What happened?

The Happiness Engine · Thu Sep 08, 2011 2:36 pm

We've all had times where problems seem insurmountable.

Separately, we've all done things in the heat of the moment that we later regretted, or in some cases wish we could take back.

A very few of those decisions you just don't get to regret. It's a tragedy for all involved.

My condolences.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Thu Sep 08, 2011 2:49 pm

I am putting together a proper post on all this madness. But here is a link in case you are reading this and want to have some idea what is going on.

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:21 pm

I have been a coworker, boss, employer, hang out buddy and internet friend to Adam Parcells so let me say that there is no excuse for what Adam did. Though he likely was depressed and angry he was far too able to act sanely while planning and manipulating to be given the excuse of mental illness. I feel he knew what he was planning and executing was wrong and he didn't care because it was worth it to exact a final "fuck you" to everyone in his life. He always had a skewed outlook as to what's "fair is fair" between people. He was always all about how you had wronged or shorted him but ignored that he was the biggest problem in his own life. His recklessness caused great destruction in his life and his family and limited his job prospects. He neglected to mention in this very thread that his wife was leaving him for the huge shiner he gave to his precious 10 year old daughter Noel. He apparently bought the gun in February, had escalating violence and must have reserved the campsite ahead of time for a busy holiday weekend so was more than sane enough to be responsible for what he did. I won't remember him with any excuses.