An (indirect) comment about Seinfeld

[Tdarcos]

WRC-TV
4001 Nebraska Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20016

February 20, 2011
To the reader of this letter:

I am writing to you because of an issue that slightly concerns me, the constant mangling and mistransmission of your closed captioning. As a person who can hear, I do find that the captioning can be very useful, especially if I have to mute the volume because I am taking a phone call, I can still understand what is happening.

What bothers me is the regular "drop outs" and lossage where words in a stream are missing letters or are corrupted. This occurs all the time on your station, whether the program is live, recorded, local, network or even on captioned commercials. I don't think I've seen a stream of even 30 seconds of your broadcast where there isn't at least one (or more) errors of words losing letters.

This is not misspelling or using the wrong word; this is similar to a garbled radio transmission, so that some letters are lost.

I had a suspicion maybe it was just the way Comcast carries your signal, so while I was watching your evening newscast, I decided to change the channel. As it turned out, this was WTTG, Channel 5, which happened to be running Seinfeld. I watched this for about one minute until the vomit reflex started to kick in, at which point I returned to your station.

Channel 5's closed captioning for its alleged program was basically flawless. Returning to your station and the evening newscast it resumed its "usual and customary practice" of losing letters during its closed captioning. This continued with the network newscast as well.

But I still wondered if it was a problem with Comcast. As it turned out I had to go visit my family in Arlington, Virginia for the Christmas holiday. I caught various stations there, your station was still having problems with losing characters on some words while other stations did not. My family uses Dish Network, and the same problem occurs there as well.

Since I'm not seeing this occurring on other stations and I do see it from more than one location, I believe there is something that is not right in the way your station is transmitting closed captioning and it may be something that needs to be looked into.

Sincerely Yours,



Paul Robinson
"A computer programmer and Notary Public in and for the
Commonwealth of Virginia at large, and the
State of Maryland in and for Prince George's County."





\\paul\paul\Channel4 20110220.wpd

[pinback]

I question the comedy acumen of anyone who hates Seinfeld. There was a lot of chaff in there, particularly in the early and later years... but the wheat? The wheat??

Too many memorable scenes to list here, but as I've said before, quite recently, in fact, the scene with George and the golf ball has arguably the two greatest lines in sitcom history in it. And that's one scene.

In summation, if you dislike the show Seinfeld, you are not a funny person, or more to the point, are incapable of being funny.

Paul, I love you like a long lost brother, but if there's one thing you are incapable of, it is being funny.

[AArdvark]

the scene with George and the golf ball

Please post a plot summary so I can understand teh funny.

I wonder if it's the person who has to type the subtitles. Could they be underpaid or something?



THE
PAYROLL ASPECT
AARDVARK

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

In summation, if you dislike the show Seinfeld, you are not a funny person, or more to the point, are incapable of being funny.

I remember enjoying it when it was there, but they - they cast - have done everything to ruin it. And everything they were "going for" was surpassed by the show you'd like me to stop talking about.

It's a relic, like The Honeymooners. (I have never seen an episode of The Honeymooners.)

Things I Don't Care For, For Context:

- Seinfeld
- The Onion
- All Webcomics except Qwantz

[pinback]

the scene with George and the golf ball

Please post a plot summary so I can understand teh funny.

I am not going to do that.

[js]

the scene with George and the golf ball

Please post a plot summary so I can understand teh funny.

I wonder if it's the person who has to type the subtitles. Could they be underpaid or something?

I think this is more it. Do you ever see a bunch of garbage characters then you can see the cursor back up and retype like the guy isn't quite that good at touch typing and looked up from the keyboard from a second?

I don't think it's technical glitches, more diarrhea-fingered interns with a glint of hope of becoming a court stenographer one day and have to "work their way up"

[Tdarcos]

Paul, I love you like a long lost brother, but if there's one thing you are incapable of, it is being funny.

I though you had "banned" me, my friend.

Ben, probably my only friend living since my best friend Andrea died, I appreciate your ardent candor in explaining my shortcomings. Fuck you very much.

[Tdarcos]

the scene with George and the golf ball

Please post a plot summary so I can understand teh funny.

I wonder if it's the person who has to type the subtitles. Could they be underpaid or something?

I think this is more it. Do you ever see a bunch of garbage characters then you can see the cursor back up and retype like the guy isn't quite that good at touch typing and looked up from the keyboard from a second?

I don't think it's technical glitches, more diarrhea-fingered interns with a glint of hope of becoming a court stenographer one day and have to "work their way up"

As I wrote in my letter, this isn't just happening on local shows, network and even commercials are sometimes having words truncated or letters lost.

[Tdarcos]

It's a relic, like The Honeymooners. (I have never seen an episode of The Honeymooners.)

I have. It's a story about a fat bus driver who, whenever his smaller wife says something he doesn't like, threatens to someday punch her in the face with his fist.

I didn't think of that summary, it was Bill Maher. I wish I had.

[pinback]

POW, right in the kisser!

[Knuckles the CLown]

I called ESL (my bank) and bitched about the braille on the ATM key pad. I'm not blind or anything.. but what the fuck gives?Sometimes when I'm taking money out I'm too distracted to actually look at the screen and you know, USE MY TWO PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD EYES, so I use the braille and it's totaly fucked up, like :.: is where .:: should be.

They said the the machines are made in China and their braile is different. Seeing as Chinese writing looks like fucking braille I highly doubt it.

Anyhow, I'm going to go stick an IV in my arm and eat lunch through my veins... Oh i'm not sick, I just like depriving myself of my perfeclty good functioning senses so I have something to bitch about.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Is this the thread where Paul says he doesn't have any living friends except Pinner? I'll be your Internet Friend, Paul.

I think we can go ahead and say that Paul is one of the twenty greatest posters in the history of the BBS, and we can also **get that statement notarized.**

^______________^

[Tdarcos]

Is this the thread where Paul says he doesn't have any living friends except Pinner? I'll be your Internet Friend, Paul.

I think we can go ahead and say that Paul is one of the twenty greatest posters in the history of the BBS, and we can also **get that statement notarized.**

I appreciate the sentiment. Note that by law, a notarized statement must be made in person before the notary; this is a requirement in all 50 states. There is a proposal in Virginia to allow electronic notarizations where the person "appears" by videoconference. The National Notary Association is urging notaries to write and tell the Governor this is a bad idea, because of both the extra recordkeeping requirements (you'd have to keep copies of the video) and because it would "water down" the notary's capacity to be able to verify the person's veracity (much harder to lie over a video than when someone sees you in person).

I did "mobile notary" for a couple of years during the height of the subprime morgage bubble, I was doing about 2-3 a week, sometimes more, at $50 a pop. At least it kept me in eating money. If I could have gotten a couple a day, it would have been very nice money. Mobile Notary handles the paperwork for mortgage refinancing where you go out to the customer's home or office to witness the signing of the loan documents (a "closing"), and sign off on the ones that require notarization, plus send the documents back to the lender and leave a copy with the borrower.

There were two really good jobs I had. One company called me, in Arlington, to go down to Norfolk and witness a closing. Well, my rule is $1 a mile if it's outside the area. Norfolk is 185 miles, so I said that would be the price. They were not sure at $185 plus whatever other fees; I said it's a flat rate. So they agreed. I spend 6 hours driving round trip, about an hour and a half meeting a nice lesbian couple who were refinancing their house - they didn't say they were but people do give off clues - and witnessing and processing the paperwork. I ship it off and about a month later I get a check for $185.

I love to drive, so it was nice. I got to drive all the way to Norfolk and someone else paid for it. (Gas, I think, cost me about $20 as my car got me about 25mpg and was about $2.10 a gallon then.)

The other one happened when the Nader Campaign called me. Since I didn't get my first commission until 2002 this would have to have been during 2004 for that election. To put someone on the ballot in Virginia requires you get a certain number of signatures on petitions. Each one has to be notarized that the petitioner really took the signatures. Which would have required probably a couple hundred forms. The statutory price for a document is $5 which would have been very expensive. So I agreed on a flat rate of $150 for all the petitions.

They basically used my place as a "staging area" where petition soliciters who were collecting them, probably at supermarkets and such, were bringing them in all night long. Now, petition submitters have to be residents of Virginia and eligible to vote. They all listed their address as some hotel. Well, I didn't ask and they didn't say, but I suspect that wasn't truthful, or at least it wouldn't be after the petitioning ended and they moved on to the next state.

Well, anyway, what I did was, instead of swearing them in for each document I swore each petitioner "in bulk". I'd have them raise their right hand and have them repeat the following oath:

I do solemnly swear or affirm that the statements I have made on these papers are, to the best of my knowledge and belief, true, correct and complete.

We had a regular factory going on. The only thing I alone am required to do is sign; anyone can apply my seal (seals are not required on notarized documents in Virginia but most notaries have one anyway). I have to see them sign the document in front of me which is why they have to show up with each of the forms. They'd stamp the seal which means we can get the documents processed faster. This was the last day petitions could be done in order that they be turned in with sufficient time to be valid.

I'll occasionally take shortcuts for the convenience of a customer but I knew this one was important to them, and the "powers that be" would fight over an usurper to the two major parties, so everything was done strictly by the book so it would survive any challenge. Specifically swearing each and every petitioner, making sure I did my full signature, instructing them where to impress the seal so it didn't obliterate anything important.

Sometimes we had as many as 5-6 people in and out as they dropped off petitions.

I think we did something like 3-400 petitions. So at the end of the night she gives me a check from the Nader Campaign for the $150.

That was fun. Was even more fun when about a month later the Nader Campaign I think forgets they paid me, because I get another check for $150. I always follow Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #1: Once you get the customer's money, you never give it back.

So that was a nice job that I ended up making $300.

[Tdarcos]

I called ESL (my bank)

There's your problem; when a bank's name is the same as "English as a Second Language" you shouldn't expect them to understand you!

[Guest]

Which would have required probably a couple hundred forms. The statutory price for a document is $5 which would have been very expensive. So I agreed on a flat rate of $150 for all the petitions.

...
I think we did something like 3-400 petitions. So at the end of the night she gives me a check from the Nader Campaign for the $150.

That was fun. Was even more fun when about a month later the Nader Campaign I think forgets they paid me, because I get another check for $150. I always follow Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #1: Once you get the customer's money, you never give it back.

So that was a nice job that I ended up making $300.

That was a long drawn out way of stating that you are not only a shitty businessman, but also a thief.

Good show, Paul Robinson. Perhaps you should share your story of earned income with SSI/Disability.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Hahaha, if not for Tdarcos, we could have Nader addressing the rest of the world right now about Libya, giving the perspective of a nation that looks like it just spilled a bowl of soup on itself.

My alternate joke was going to involve Tdarcos joining the Gangrene Party.

[Tdarcos]

That was a long drawn out way of stating that you are not only a shitty businessman

I quoted a price. I made money I wouldn't otherwise have made (I would have spent the evening watching TV) and they saved money. I think $150 for one night's work was reasonable.

, but also a thief.

How am I a thief? They sent me money; they never asked for it back. Am I supposed to refuse their payment? It's not my responsibility to monitor extra payments made to me, it's their responsibility not to intentionally or unintentionally overpay me. For all I know it could have been a bonus.

All I meant by my statement was that they sent me another check and I kept it because I don't believe it's my responsibility to refuse money people send me; had they later informed me there was a mistake, I would have sent the money back.

Good show, Paul Robinson. Perhaps you should share your story of earned income with SSI/Disability.

I received this money before I became disabled. It wasn't until my wrist went bad that I applied for disability.

Further, I get SSDI, not SSI. SSI is a welfare program for those who didn't make enough to qualify for Social Security Disability Insurance. There is a very tight income limit; I think any income above $25 has to be reported.

SSDI is a type of insurance program for those who worked for a living and are unable to do so. Under SSDI, I'm permitted to make up to $600 in any month without it affecting my disability. I don't even have to report it until it reaches $600 in any month.

I do get food stamps, a whopping $16 a month. I did report the payments I got for being an election judge of $200 in August and $250 in September to the county welfare office - I called my caseworker and left a voice mail - even though the county is the agency that paid me.

[AArdvark]

[Tdarcos]

I got a call today from someone at WRC-TV today.

Turns out they DID have a problem with their closed captioning back in December and January which they had some trouble tracking down. He says it's now been fixed and should not be reoccurring.

He's e-mailing me and if I still notice the problem they do want to know about it.

So they actually do read the stuff people send them; I'm kind of surprised. And the response was really quite fast.

[Tdarcos]

Hahaha, if not for Tdarcos, we could have Nader addressing the rest of the world right now about Libya, giving the perspective of a nation that looks like it just spilled a bowl of soup on itself.

My alternate joke was going to involve Tdarcos joining the Gangrene Party.

I'll probably groan, or be sorry, but I'll ask. What's the joke?