[TigerCast2K10] Masters Week

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[TigerCast2K10] Masters Week

Post by pinback »

Welcome...

...to Masters Week!
When you need my help because I'm ruining everything, don't look at me.

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Post by pinback »

We all know what this year is about. Let's not kid ourselves.

Rather than kid ourselves, let's whip out the most important recipe of the weekend!

PIMENTO CHEESE SANDWICH

Makes 2 sandwiches:

Ingredients:
4 oz. extra-sharp Vermont white or yellow cheddar, finely grated ( 1 1/2 cups)
Half a jar of pimento (3 oz.), drained, finely chopped (1/4 cup)
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
salt to taste
4 slices of good whole-wheat bread, crusts discarded
4 thin slices Vidalia or other sweet onion
1 cup watercress sprigs, tough stems discarded.

To prepare: Mash cheese, pimento, mayonnaise, and hot pepper sauce in a small bowl with a fork until well combined. Season with salt to taste. Cover and chill 1 hour for flavors to blend. Spread pimento cheese evenly on bread. Top with onions and watercress sprigs. Cut each sandwich into triangles and serve.
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Post by AArdvark »

I want a bikini clad hottie to run out on the Eighteenth hole she'll have a message painted on her back that says "Ride me like a Tiger". This will cause him to play the best round of his life.


THE HOLE IN ONE
AARDVARK

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Post by pinback »

"Tiger likes sex" jokes are still so very FRESH, Aardvark! Thank you for your contribution!
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Just a Regular Golf Fan

Post by Just a Regular Golf Fan »

Looks like David Toms is playing very well, shooting a 69. And 60-year-old Tom Watson amazingly shoots a very good opening round, and is in contention to win a major, just like how he was in 2009 at Turnberry.

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Post by pinback »

I would like to see Watson win this, only because it would wipe out, for all intents and purposes, the most depressing moment in sports I've ever seen in my life.
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Post by AArdvark »

That was wishful thinking, not a joke....

Besides, what do I know about golf?, except it's more fun to play than to watch on TV.

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Post by Ice Cream Jonsey »

pinback wrote:"Tiger likes sex" jokes are still so very FRESH, Aardvark! Thank you for your contribution!
Why do you have to be an asshole? To everyone?

If you are a prick to Just a Regular Golf Fan, I WILL cram a Pimento down your beady-eyed head.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!

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Post by pinback »

Just a Regular Golf Fan seems like a good guy.

Rather than doing my exhaustive post-round analysis like I would most years, I'll get right to the heart of the matter here, get right to what everyone wants to hear, WHAT WAS IT LIKE?

Touted as the BIGGEST MEDIA EVENT EXCEPT FOR OBAMA IN HISTORY, what HAPPENED? What DRAMA UNFOLDED? In the era of NEW BAD GUY TIGER, how has everything CHANGED???

I will tell you, and believe me when I say it even came as a shock to me:

Not a goddamn thing.

Tiger went out, practiced, got cheered at the first tee (and all the other ones), played golf like a motherfucker (he missed a few putts, but hit some absolutely absurd, nobody-else-in-the-world shots in between), and life just went on.

He's currently two back of the leader, Boom Boom, who at 50 years old played the best round of golf of his life, and it's... it's just business as usual.

For those who thought there'd be drama? None.

For those who thought Tiger would have some rust? None.

For those who thought Tiger would tone down the fist pumps and dropped clubs and whining? No way.

For those who thought anything that's happened over the past five months would have any effect on anything that happened on or off the course today?

Not a goddamned thing.

And there I was, cheering along, just like usual. Somewhere in the back of my mind, some seedy, distasteful stories were still swimming around back there, but when it comes down to it, people watch and love this guy for the way he hits the ball and makes the ball go in the goddamn hole.

And when he nailed the eagle putt on 15, I jumped up and fist pumped right with him. Maybe that makes me a bad guy, because he's a bad guy.

But today, nobody, me, or anyone else watching, gave one single good goddamn about any of that.

Just put the fucking ball in the hole, Tiger. Golf is terrible without you.

Stay tuned.
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Post by pinback »

WELCOME BACK, BUDDY!

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Post by pinback »

DAAaaahahahha!

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