Since all of the drama began last Friday morning, we here at TigerCast have been asked almost continuously from all corners of the internet, what our take on this whole thing is. As we, like you, are continuing to get new, sordid information on a daily basis, we felt it was irresponsible to make any sort of statement until the time was right and we felt we had enough information to make any such statement.
At this point, though, I think we know enough to be able to offer this, our feelings about all of this:
Though we have been making lots of jokes about this, along with everyone else, and are just as interested to see what happens next, we here at TigerCast have to say quite honestly that we are really, truly, very disappointed in all of this. Though Tiger's dominance on the golf course is legendary and will never be matched, what we really, truly liked about Tiger was that, even with all the fame and pressure and cash, he still seemed to be able to both maintain the focus on his professional career, but more than that, be a genuinely good guy. Even as it seemed every other high-profile, rich athlete eventually found himself in some sort of embarrassing shit, it seemed for so long that the HIGHEST profile, and the RICHEST athlete of them all managed to stay above it.
Probably naive on our part, but we so wanted to believe.
And now this. We feel a deep, dark, disappointed pit in our stomach every time we think about this. We will not go so far as to completely disown him after all these years, but our admiration has taken a huge, if not irreparable hit. It does not help that Tiger seems to have handled this entire situation as poorly as you could imagine, if he had any interest in coming through this looking like anything other than a slimy, lying pussy of a scumbag.
So we'll continue to joke. And we'll continue to hit refresh on deadspin and TMZ every five seconds looking for updates.
But we hurt. We hurt bad. We hope he turns it around somehow, un-pussies himself, gets out there and says yes, I've been a giant douche, I suck, please forgive me, because we probably still could.
But this sucks. That is our statement.
P.S. John Ziegler is still a <s>bit of a</s> giant prick.
The Tiger Woods Thing
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There are only two ways this can go, where it turns out good. Only two ways this can go that I would accept.
1. Over the coming year he opens up, fesses up to what a douche he's been, really shows some contrition, and then continues to play at his normal level, picking up an average of one major a year or so, keeps his nose clean for the rest of the year, stops throwing clubs, posing on 8-irons, yelling goddamn fucking fucker every time he misses the green, and basically just keeps it cool. At this rate he'd eclipse Jack in about five years, at the ripe old age of 38 or 39, and if he's kept it together the whole time, I think Jack would be happy to stand there and hand the torch to Tiger, a changed man, who had generally turned back into a good guy we could all respect, and we'd all cheer, knowing we'd watched a flawed man turn it around to become unarguably the greatest ever.
2. He shuts up, does no interviews, doesn't acknowledge anything or anybody, and wins all four majors in 2010, tying Jack's record, and then quits golf forever. Then he'd leave known as a REALLY flawed man who nonetheless owned the game, but had enough shame to know that no matter how many majors he won, he had no business showing up a timeless legend like Jack, and wanted to show one last bit of class and leave it for the writers to argue Jack vs. Tiger forever.
I will accept no other outcomes.
1. Over the coming year he opens up, fesses up to what a douche he's been, really shows some contrition, and then continues to play at his normal level, picking up an average of one major a year or so, keeps his nose clean for the rest of the year, stops throwing clubs, posing on 8-irons, yelling goddamn fucking fucker every time he misses the green, and basically just keeps it cool. At this rate he'd eclipse Jack in about five years, at the ripe old age of 38 or 39, and if he's kept it together the whole time, I think Jack would be happy to stand there and hand the torch to Tiger, a changed man, who had generally turned back into a good guy we could all respect, and we'd all cheer, knowing we'd watched a flawed man turn it around to become unarguably the greatest ever.
2. He shuts up, does no interviews, doesn't acknowledge anything or anybody, and wins all four majors in 2010, tying Jack's record, and then quits golf forever. Then he'd leave known as a REALLY flawed man who nonetheless owned the game, but had enough shame to know that no matter how many majors he won, he had no business showing up a timeless legend like Jack, and wanted to show one last bit of class and leave it for the writers to argue Jack vs. Tiger forever.
I will accept no other outcomes.
When you need my help because I'm ruining everything, don't look at me.
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Just call it the Tiger Woods, and here's how you'll make it. Line up about a dozen drinks in attractive glasses, and then use the same stirring stick in each one. [/rimshot]AArdvark wrote:Maybe they will name a drink after him in the future, like the Arnold Palmer. What would it be?
On the news tonight they were saying Tiger's leaving the country and now they're talking about prostitutes and all kinds of crazy shit. Hopefully he plays the "sex addict card" and makes it out of this.
Looks like Tiger's gonna have one rotten Christmas. And you know what the difference is between Santa and Tiger, right? Santa knows enough to stop after three ho's ...
"I failed a savings throw and now I am back."
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