Rage Against the Computer Animation

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:42 pm

Alright, this is just getting ridiculous. Is it because I've grown up playing video games and seen the progression from Atari 2600 to PS3? I can spot that shimmery, ultra-fake looking crap computer graphics in any movie and it always pisses me the hell off.

I am fully aware that you can't recreate all special effects effectively (heh) and that computers have their place in movies.

But every time I see some lazy ass director taking the easy way out, it infuriates me. Just because you CAN make graphics on the computer doesn't mean you SHOULD.

I mean, case in point. War of the Worlds. It had the potential to be a classic even though Tom Cruise has the lead role. I was with it, up until the point they started getting retarded with the computer animation. Sure, animate the big walker things with computers, that far away you can't tell anyway. Up to a point, the computer animation was pretty damn good.

But when you have an extreme close up of Tom pretending to hack away at the leg/arm/extremity of one of the things complete with computer animated sparks you kinda HAVE to say "what the fuck?!?!"
How hard would it have been to have Tom whack at an actual piece of metal ducting or something and have real sparks fly? Most computer animation is done to SAVE money, that had to cost more and looked exponentially cheesier than the real thing. Is this one of his contract clauses or something?
Because to me, it doesn't make sense to pay all that money for Tom Cruise and then make half the scenes look mega lame with computers.
There's no reason they couldn't have done the close-up, human-size aliens "for real". They expect us to pay $15 a ticket to see this mediocrity, don't they?

The real slap in the face was that I watched that piece of crap all the way till the end, when all the carnage was over. They actually used computers to ANIMATE AN INANIMATE OBJECT - a tree just sprouting a fresh bud. Is there a shortage of trees in Hollywood or something? (Unlikely, considering the recent "medical" law changes)

Directed by Steven Spielburg. What a washed up has-been. Isn't that the same guy who made the masterpiece Jurassic Park????!? DId he just decide one day that it wasn't worth the effort to make his movies look real and fuck it, we'll just outsource the special effects to some guy in his mom's basement with a 3d modeling program?

Either he has never played a video game, he is now blind, or he just doesn't give a fuck.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:03 pm

Jack Straw wrote:the masterpiece Jurassic Park????!?

DAAAaaa ha hahahaa.

This calls for a new thread!

Once I can shake off the willies from having read the phrase "the masterpiece Jurassic Park".

RealityCheck · Post by **RealityCheck** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:34 pm

Jurassic Park was fucking fantastic.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:52 pm

Jurassic Park had the most amazing special effects ever, for its time. The first moment they see the dinos in the park is just wonderful. All the dinos were great, in fact!

The rest of it? Come on. Bad kid actors + Sam Neill = not fucking fantastic.

RealityCheck · Post by **RealityCheck** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:41 pm

The dinosaurs rendered everything else irrelevant. Much like The Shire during the first few minutes of Fellowship of the Ring, the first sight of the dinosaurs brought tears to my eyes and the effects did not diminish throughout the movie, whatever those other dudes did :)

co · Post by co » Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:00 pm

RealityCheck wrote:The dinosaurs rendered everything else irrelevant. Much like The Shire during the first few minutes of Fellowship of the Ring, the first sight of the dinosaurs brought tears to my eyes and the effects did not diminish throughout the movie, whatever those other dudes did :)

What ruined the Ring trillogy was that Peter Jackson's a fag. Nine hours of his obsession with elija woods eyes and homoerotic banter has ruined the whole thing for me. I never even want to read the books again.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 5:11 pm

I just liked the big round doors. And the part where Gandalf hits his head on the lights and stuff...

THE
NO CGI THERE
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 11:12 pm

I sat through the first two movies, and half of the third before I gave up.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me. I guess if you're a Tolkein fanboy or just general all-around nerd you loved those movies? I don't get it, man. A bunch of stiff, underdeveloped characters that you're supposed to care about but don't, walking around with a bunch of flaming monsters and shit.

I think you had to care before you walked in, because if not you sure weren't going to care walking out.

What a load of shit.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:32 am

I didn't know anything about LOTR before watching the movies. I did, however, know a lot about Dungeons and Dragons, and it was very obvious that D&D was directly influenced by people wanting to play a LOTR game.

So I was able to enjoy the movies anyway.

This is sort of nice, isn't it, Pinner? Not having to worry about being funny all the time, just writing what we think and feel and just talking like normal people?

As if to say, "look into the face of horror, because that's what saved your kid."

Now. If that's wrong...

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 11:08 am

It's okay I guess.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:24 pm

Just okay? Why's that, slugger?

Why don't you tell us what's on your mind. Flack bought an iPhone, you know.

Flack · Post by **Flack** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 6:54 pm

Which is why I never post here anymore. Why didn't you fuckers tell me those things were like crack? Seriously. I'm as bad as the teens Aardvark hates. Today at work I took my phone with me down to the break room so I could configure people's ring tones.

I saw Jurassic Park in the theater when it came out and that scene where they first see the dinosaurs made me cry. As a kid I begged my mom to let me name one of our dogs Rex Tyrannosaurus. I loved dinosaurs up until about fourth grade (then again I think all boys do) and that movie was so awesome. I specifically remember watching T. Rex (the giant lizard, not the guitarist) attacking the SUV and thinking to myself, "those people are real, that dinosaur is not, and I can't tell where the special effects end and the real world begins." That movie and Terminator 2 made me never trust anything I saw on the 6pm news again.

I played a lot of D&D as a kid but I don't think I even made it through the second movie and don't remember much of the first. I think Kevin Smith's poke at it was correct: it was just eight hours of people walking. Bor-ring.

If you want to watch bad CGI that didn't hold up, we just caught the last half of Jumanji on cable tonight. Oof. Even my kids were making fun of it. They kept saying, "that looks totally fake," and I was like, "well that's just how Robin Williams looks, kids."

Rage Against the Computer Animation

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