Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jul 13, 2008 12:52 am

I walked into this one right as the last preview finished. The theatre does a 10:35 and a 10:50 showing. I bought the 10:50 one because I naturally assumed I was late for the previous showing, but no! I then got the ticket changed because although there is a certain appeal to being the only person in the last showing of a movie theatre, the staff has to stick around longer if people are there, and Hellboy is at least in part about how humans are the real monsters.

I am going to butcher this quote, but:

"Why ya gotta leave to think? I'll get rid of the cats!" -- Hellboy

I don't think I am quite ready to tackle that little quotation, so let's get more general: Hellboy II: The Golden Army has a brisk pace that reflects the more professional and experienced nature of the freak team assembled from the first movie. Just starting things out, with William Hurt (always a good performance) telling young Hellboy a bedtime story, the action starts kicking ass. The instant you (I) think, "What the fuck does this have to do with anything?" The movie makes it fairly obvious and ties it all together. More happened, and more important things happened, in the first ten minutes of Hellboy 2 than in a lot of the flicks I have seen recently.

I dug all the characters. Selma Blair is not only my favorite actress, but always a treat to see interact with Ron Perlman as Hellboy. I know that I can't act, in much the same way that I can't be in a rock band or keep my head up writing Java, but when you see a guy like Perlman take a role like Hellboy, knowing that the entire movie becomes a laughable parody if you mess up, it solidifies the fact that acting is an absolute craft, and you can see it take many forms.

The scene with Abe and Hellboy and what I think was the Barry Manilow track was very touching. The guy who played the elf prince also did his best to steal the entire movie.

We will look back upon these days, this summer of 2008, and regardless of what happens to any of us, and whether our lungs are filled with hellfire or jogging locusts, we will always have Hellboy II: The Golden Army. **** out of 5.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:37 am

Funny, we also missed the previews after a scheduling mix-up. Anyhow, one of the things I liked about the first Hellboy was the opportunity it presented for Ron Perlman. The guy actually looks better with all of that make-up on and it's his chance to play this likeable, funny character. Even though I've never beaten it, I have always respected Perlman for being the voice of the protagonist of Roger Zelazny's computer game, Chronomaster (Roger Zelazny being one of my favorite authors... and that game was one of the last things he did). Most of his movie roles have always been Ugly Grunt type characters, so it was good to not only see him get this role but excel in it.

And hey, this new one is just so much better than the first one, too.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 1:15 pm

This movie recalls and expands on what made Pan's Labyrinth such a treasure. The visual wonders turn the film from a passable comic book movie into pure fantasy adventure, and one of the better examples thereof in recent memory.

After seeing the first one, and only finding it "okay", I expected to find a similar mix of wit, effects, and noise in the second, but what I found more closely resembled true art.

Jeffrey Tambor and Selma Blair were terrible, and every time either of them opened their mouths the movie suffered, but thankfully there was relatively little of this. If ICJ actually just said that Selma Blair is his favorite actress, I am never posting on this base ever again.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:08 pm

I would fuck the bags out of her eyes. I am not saying she is a great actress, I am saying that she is my favorite one. Who is your favorite female actor, Julie Dench? This ought to be good. I am actively looking forward to your response.

Blair happens to be the perfect person to play that role. That is the kind of girl you get if you are a BLOOD RED GODDAMN MONSTER.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:08 pm

WITH A TAIL.

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:14 pm

She's way more likeable in Hellboy than in most of her movies (that I've seen) so that's a plus.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:26 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Who is your favorite female actor

My favorite female actor?

Kathy Harter!

However, many people are not familiar with her body of work, so I will choose a second, more well-known choice, for the masses.

My second-favorite female actor is!

Is!

Well, I can't think of any right now, but in my opinion Charlize Theron gave the single best performance in movie history, so I'll pick her.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 3:38 pm

Roody_Yogurt wrote:She's way more likeable in Hellboy than in most of her movies (that I've seen) so that's a plus.

I -- er, well, YES, we will take that for support in this thread.

Thank you, Jon. You are the glue that is holding this conversation together.