PTA Weekend.

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I was sick all weekend, so I had a choice: Expand my cinematic horizons, or watch every non-Magnolia PTA movie all in a row.

Naturally, I chose the latter.

Here now are my feelings about the non-Magnolia PTA films:

Hard Eight/Sydney: Here is a movie where pretty much nothing happens except people smoking Camel Lights and drinking coffee, but you absolutely cannot turn away. Specifically, the first 30-45 minutes have such a tight screenplay, and such a brilliant actor in Philip Baker Hall running the show, that it never occurs to you that other things are happening in the universe. One the "plot" starts up, you almost wish it would stop, so we could watch the actors get back to work smoking, drinking coffee, and watching Hall kick ass at 35mm. PTA's first movie, and probably his "worst", but this is a laughable concept. Entertaining from start to finish, and an important debut for the greatest director of his generation. ****

Boogie Nights: I saw this movie when it first came out on videotape, and when I still thought that Paul Thomas Anderson was the porn actor "Paul Thomas" trying to branch out into legitimate cinema, and had this reaction: "This is a fucking amazing movie." I've seen it now four or five times, and every time, I have the same reaction. I know Magnolia is 3+ hours and I say it just flies by, but this one's over 2.5 hours, and it WARPS by. There is not a moment in this movie that isn't crackling with energy, and it's an energy so well harnessed that you just have to shake your head in wonderment and say "holy shit". The role all of the main characters should be most fondly remembered for -- Burt Reynolds, Heather Graham, Marky Mark, Nina Hartley... And I will tell you this -- the "long way down" scene at Rahad Jackson's place, with the dude setting off firecrackers in the background, is one of the singularly most tension-filled, brilliantly conceived scenes in movie history. Like you'll always remember where you were when you first heard the Jaws theme, you'll always remember Night Ranger singin' "You're motorin'..." ****1/2

Punch-Drunk Love: Nobody agrees with me on this, but I think this is PTA's most flawless movie. It's only 80-some-odd minutes, so there's less time to screw up, but I think this is just pure fantasy, without a misstep, and with several quiet, lovely brilliances, from start to finish. I love this movie a lot. Nobody else does, but that's because you're stupid and wrong. This is movie magic. This is art. This is awesome. Only problem I may have with it is that the Emily Watsons of the world never actually go out with the Adam Sandlers of the world. But like I said, it's fantasy. *****



BONUS FUN PTA FAX: DID YOU KNOW?

...in Sydney/Hard Eight, Jimmy mentions to Sydney (Philip Baker Hall) that he knows his old buddies, "Floyd Gondolli and Jimmy Gator". Philip Baker Hall went on to play Floyd Gondolli in Boogie Nights, and Jimmy Gator in Magnolia?

...Ernie Anderson, PTA's late father, gained fame as an ABC announcer for his pronunciation of "The Looooooove Boat!"?

...Though many actors were involved in three PTA films (John C. Reilly, Melora Walters, Philip Baker Hall, Luis Guzman), only Philip Seymour Hoffman found a place in all four?

...PTA's next movie (titled either "Oil!" or "There Will Be Blood") will be his first adapted from other source material?

...You don't like PTA movies, and therefore you suck?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Wait, which Paul Anderson?

Wait, which Phillip Hoffman?

Wait, which Phillip Hall?

Wait, which John Reilly?

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See, that's not cool. I tried to bring content, and you react by being a dick and making snide little comments? Who are you, Bruce?

"NOT COOL, man." - Geico caveman.

[Roody_Yogurt]

Even though there are plenty of things I disagree with pinback about, I agree with his reviews of all these movies.

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Even though there are plenty of things I disagree with pinback about

Like what, motherfucker?!

[Roody_Yogurt]

I forget what they were, but I remember you being OH SO WRONG.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

See, that's not cool. I tried to bring content, and you react by being a dick and making snide little comments? Who are you, Bruce?

"NOT COOL, man." - Geico caveman.

I just think it's hilarious that four of these pretentious assholes all got together and started making movies. Shit, the only thing missing is a shaky performance in one of them by Michael Fox.

Oh shit, silly me. Michael J. Fox.

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William H. Macy was only in two of them, BTW.

[Bugs]

Who is PTA?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I ruined this thread, because I was not aspiring for greatness at the time. Was it really the time and place to note that a lot of these actors have a middle name or initial in their stage name? I now know this is because some irrelevant, yet credited actor, from years ago, probably did have a name of "William Macy," and therefore the real one had to put an "H." there.

See, I can post like shit, too.

So let me apologize to both Ben and PTA. I didn't understand "the point" of There Will Be Blood (note: "Oil!" would have been a better title for this movie, although TWBB is a better title overall) but there is a serious disconnect between my like of movies that are plotless and everyone else. So that's fine.

And I thought Punch Drunk Love was great! Ben, you are not the only person who liked that movie. I liked it, too.

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I accept your apology.

PTA would also accept your apology, but he's too busy BANGING YOUR MOTHER.

[Tdarcos]

I accept your apology.

PTA would also accept your apology, but he's too busy BANGING YOUR MOTHER.

Benjamin, dear, your sophomoric and childish attempts at levity are the strained and vapid murmurings of a routed ex-champion, worn out by the wretched refuse of time and tide.

May I suggest you learn better methods of providing insulting conduct, because I would expect someone of your intelligence and wit to do better.

I also ask the question posted by the other person, Who is PTA? (A part of me wanted to say "whom is PTA" but I know that's incorrect, just as your insults are incorrect as they lack the strength and power I know and expect from someone like you.)

Having read the rambling and incoherent rant you made at the start of your article, I discovered that PTA apparently refers to Paul Thomas Anderson, an actor or other professional I have no idea who he is, and not to the usual and customary definition of PTA, Pizza Topped with All things we love.

--
Paul Robinson - paul@paul-robinson.us - My Blog

[hygraed]

Paul Thomas Anderson, the director of "Boogie Nights," "Magnolia," "Punch-Drunk Love," and "There Will Be Blood."

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And Hard Eight, which was originally titled "Sydney", but the studio or whoever made him change it.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I accept your apology.

PTA would also accept your apology, but he's too busy BANGING YOUR MOTHER.

Benjamin, dear, your sophomoric and childish attempts at levity are the strained and vapid murmurings of a routed ex-champion, worn out by the wretched refuse of time and tide.

Well, in Ben's defense, Paul Thomas Anderson actually did drop by my parents' home and have screaming make-up-style sex with my mother, so, ah, erp.

/shakes fist
/moves "boogie nights" down on my Netflix queue

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So, ladies and gentlemen, if I say I am a man who freaked Robb Sherwin's mother wild all night long, you will agree.