The 2008 Masters Thread

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:54 pm

As you may or may not know, next week marks the most important sports week of the year, surpassing the World Series, Super Bowl, and Westminster Dog Show combined and multiplied by ten million.

It is Masters Week, when the eyes of the world turn to Augusta, Georgia to watch the most important golf tournament in the history of the universe, the 2008 Masters.

In this thread I will provide updates, interesting facts, and either lots of hysterical happy nonsense, or hysterical unhappy nonsense, depending on how one particular darker-colored contestant fares.

For our first update, I will provide a recipe for those planning their MASTERS PARTIES!

As you know, the most famous food item served at the Masters it the famous pimento cheese sandwich, and so I will provide the recipe here, so you may make lots and lots of them for the throngs who will no doubt descend on your humble abode when they find out you're having a party to celebrate the 2008 Masters, the most crucial, vital event ever to take place in human history by a factor of fifteen billion trillion.

PIMENTO CHEESE SANDWICH

Makes 2 sandwiches:

Ingredients:
4 oz. extra-sharp Vermont white or yellow cheddar, finely grated ( 1 1/2 cups)
Half a jar of pimento (3 oz.), drained, finely chopped (1/4 cup)
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
salt to taste
4 slices of good whole-wheat bread, crusts discarded
4 thin slices Vidalia or other sweet onion
1 cup watercress sprigs, tough stems discarded.

To prepare: Mash cheese, pimento, mayonnaise, and hot pepper sauce in a small bowl with a fork until well combined. Season with salt to taste. Cover and chill 1 hour for flavors to blend. Spread pimento cheese evenly on bread. Top with onions and watercress sprigs. Cut each sandwich into triangles and serve.

There is no better snack to enjoy while hopefully watching one of the more multicultural, legendary golfers rip the fucking ass out of all them fat dumb white boys for the fifth time!

(If you're still not sure who I'm talking about, he's the one who aspires for greatness!)

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:00 pm

White people like black sports figures in non-traditional-black sports. I mean games.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 10:31 pm

Were you aspiring for greatness with that post?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:20 pm

Vitriola wrote:White people like black sports figures in non-traditional-black sports. I mean games.

Hey, this greatness thing is not negotiable. If you want to start a thread on what white people like, start the thread. Be great in it. This isn't just lip service - this website will be better. If we make it.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 11:07 am

There are now 5 posts in this thread. One of them was vaguely amusing, and it wasn't written by either of you. But keep grabbing each other's ass, really, we all find it oh-so-charming.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:55 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
Vitriola wrote:White people like black sports figures in non-traditional-black sports. I mean games.
Hey, this greatness thing is not negotiable. If you want to start a thread on what white people like, start the thread. Be great in it. This isn't just lip service - this website will be better. If we make it.

That dude who had a blog about that used to work with this other guy who's on a mailing list I'm on. Only the guy with the blog? He got a $315K advance to write a book about what white people like, so he told his officemates, like, so long, suckers.

True story.

Bruce

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 12:24 am

Yeah, I kinda got that after he talked about the book deal for a blog he's been doing since January. I do have it from him that 'dive bars' are going to appear soon, tho, so I'm all set.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Apr 06, 2008 12:49 am

bruce wrote:That dude who had a blog about that used to work with this other guy who's on a mailing list I'm on. Only the guy with the blog? He got a $315K advance to write a book about what white people like, so he told his officemates, like, so long, suckers.

True story.

Well, that will take first place in the "random shit I've heard that makes me feel like I am wasting my life" sweepstakes. Good for him, but Jesus Christ, the fact that there is someone out there throwing over a quarter million dollars to someone who tediously verbalized the same joke we've all heard of and dismissed for being too insipid to actually take the time to write out.