The NFL 2007 Thread!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Aug 05, 2007 6:32 pm

I missed the beginning of the pre-season game between the New Orleans Saints and Pittsburgh Steelers. I tuned in just now to catch a few games.

They spent the entire time talking to Michael Irvin about his hall of fame induction. The cameras were pointed at the three idiots in the booth as well.

The NFL! Here's a football game... and we're not going to let you see it! There is no reason to not simply catch the pre-season games on radio if you catch them at all. "Celebrity in the Booth" syndrome makes the games literally unwatchable.

ICJ · Post by **ICJ** » Sun Nov 04, 2007 3:52 pm

So when Chad Johnson got layed out, I would have expected everyone on the field to be sad, but then see his gold teeth laying around and then a second pile-up as everyone went reaching for the bullion.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Sun Nov 04, 2007 5:37 pm

ZINGY DINGY!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Nov 05, 2007 12:46 am

Bugs wrote:ZINGY DINGY!

Ooof! Not the kind of biting comedy you were in the mood for??? HONK HONK!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:23 pm

I missed the Saints - Rams game, as I was at Luddy's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony and it was great to see my friends from college.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind that the Saints would lose to the 0-8 Rams. They have given winless teams their first victory approximately one thousand times before.

Fuck the New Orleans Saints.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Dec 01, 2007 1:34 pm

It is GRUDGE WEEK! The gsdgsd supported Bucs take on the ICK supported Saints.

I don't think the Saints have done anything to address the whipping they received in week two. So I will predict Tampa Bay 34, New Orleans 10.

I still see the Saints sneaking in as a wild card, as the Giants and Lions continue to freefall.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:13 pm

The Washington Redskins putting 10 guys out on the field for the Bills' first offensive play ... pretty much single-handedly makes me not feel like an asshole for following football.

Man.

This is why Joe Gibbs is in the hall of fame. They ought to elect him in again.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:52 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:This is why Joe Gibbs is in the hall of fame. They ought to elect him in again.

And then again a third time for his illegal timeout-calling prowess. Serves him right for a dick move that I don't think anyone should be allowed to do.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:06 pm

this sums it up nicely. Well when it comes back up it will.

THE
AGE IS WASTED ON THE
OLD
AARDVARK

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:25 pm

So nobody told me what the Bills did then. Did they play it out? Did they toss the football directly into the hands of the worst defensive player in Washington? Did they just halfheartedly try to score, and let it go to the other team? Did they run the score up on them the first (and probably last) chance they had? I do know they won the game.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:30 pm

Vitriola wrote:So nobody told me what the Bills did then. Did they play it out? Did they toss the football directly into the hands of the worst defensive player in Washington? Did they just halfheartedly try to score, and let it go to the other team? Did they run the score up on them the first (and probably last) chance they had? I do know they won the game.

The Bills won on a last second field goal that was reduced from 51 yards to 36 yards on the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after Gibbs tried to call illegal consecutive time-outs to ice the kicker. In true Bills fashion, they won the game with 5 field goals and a safety. Fuckit. SCOREBOARD.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:35 pm

I think anyone who gambled on the game should be investigated by the CIA, along with anyone who put money on the 2005 New Orleans Saints for the first three games (before it turned out that they sucked regardless of Katrina).

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:39 pm

AArdvark wrote:THE
AGE IS WASTED ON THE
OLD
AARDVARK

This is really, really funny by the way. Heh, heh, heh.

gsdgsd · Post by **gsdgsd** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:10 pm

A crucial question that affects my fantasy matchup -- does the Saints' trick-play fumble with 3:30 to go in the game get credited to Reggie Bush? If so, AWESOME. It solidifies my rout.

In the non-fantasy world -- what in the fuck were they thinking? Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Go Bucs.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:44 pm

Bugs wrote:The Bills won on a last second field goal that was reduced from 51 yards to 36 yards on the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty after Gibbs tried to call illegal consecutive time-outs to ice the kicker. In true Bills fashion, they won the game with 5 field goals and a safety. Fuckit. SCOREBOARD.

But what did they do during the 1st play when Washington only sent out 10 defensive guys? Did they shed a tear? Fidget nervously? Roll eyes? Break out the snickers bars? What?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:46 pm

gsdgsd wrote:A crucial question that affects my fantasy matchup -- does the Saints' trick-play fumble with 3:30 to go in the game get credited to Reggie Bush? If so, AWESOME. It solidifies my rout.

In the non-fantasy world -- what in the fuck were they thinking? Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Go Bucs.

I hope everyone Sean Payton cares about dies in a brush fire

gsdgsd · Post by **gsdgsd** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:51 pm

I couldn't have hoped for anything more. Bucs win, don't go to Galloway much, Brees has a decent game, Bush doesn't. Hurrah, I say. Hurrah.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:59 pm

Just because I know that the only people who saw this mess were Dayna, Greg and I...

The Saints are up by three points with just over three minutes to go. Tampa Bay uses, IIRC, their last time out. The Saints burned through theirs at like the start of the third quarter or something.

The Saints have the ball near their 40 because Will Smith sacked Luke McCown (Tampa Bay's QB) in the end zone for a safety. Tampa Bay has to free kick it to the Saints and here we are.

Sean Payton, the Saints' coach, now just needs to "ice" the game. Let time expire. Hand off a bunch of times. Instead he calls... a fucking reverse.

A reverse is a complicated play. The quarterback gets the ball, hands off to a running back who then hands off to a wide receiver coming from the other direction. In my entire life, I have never seen a game be "iced" by a reverse.

Drew Brees hands off to Reggie Bush. Bush attempts to "flip" the ball to Devery Henderson, who leads the league in drops.

There is a FUMBLE! on the exchange. TB recovers.

Tampa Bay marches down the field, successfully converts a 4th and 1 and then has Luke McCown, whom I don't think had ever started an NFL game before, throwing the winning TD pass to Jerramy Stevens, who might be the single worst clutch performer in the history of the NFL. He was such a mess that I mentioned him in my Caltrops review of Postal 2.

I've seen some incompetent, MOTHERFUCKING SHIT in my time, but a fucking reverse to ice a game just might fucking seal it. Because if we don't win, we're out of the playoffs, it's as simple as that. Well, we're out of the fucking playoffs now. Payton just couldn't hand the ball off to Aaron Stecker, of course not. Stecker was let go as a free agent by the Bucs a few years ago - why would he be playing with any extra intensity? Why would he want to shove the win down his old coach's throat? No, instead, let's juggle around and play fucking pattycake with the ball like a bunch of dumbshit ASSWIPES.

Oh, and Payton called out the fans this week for not cheering hard enough at home. He actually asked for a more positive, upbeat attitude from the FANS. And you know what, fuck, I have to agree. If the fans had cheered a little harder maybe the sonic boom would have exploded Payton's head like the guy in the movie "Scanners" and we'd all be sad that he died, but then I would be happy that the Saints won. Actually, Christ, since Payton is fucking brain dead already, it might be nice to ape the Redskins and maybe run our first offensive series next week with no coach.

gsdgsd · Post by **gsdgsd** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:13 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Tampa Bay marches down the field, successfully converts a 4th and 1 and then has Luke McCown, whom I don't think had ever started an NFL game before, throwing the winning TD pass to Jerramy Stevens, who might be the single worst clutch performer in the history of the NFL.

Fifth start, actually. And he's one weird-looking dude. But no matter: he now has a place in the pantheon of BUCCANEER HEROES. Which sounds pretty gay.

In a nice bit of synchronicity, my favorite real-life football team and my fantasy team seem to have adopted the same strategy: just suck a little bit less than your opponent, week after week.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:46 pm

Vitriola wrote:But what did they do during the 1st play when Washington only sent out 10 defensive guys? Did they shed a tear? Fidget nervously? Roll eyes? Break out the snickers bars? What?

I have no idea. You're asking me to remember something that happened, like, hours ago. They probably proceeded as normal, not wanting to draw attention to it.