Werewolf: Holiday in Zahnburg

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 3:40 pm

I change my vote to hygraed.

hygraed · Post by **hygraed** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 5:45 pm

Looks like I'm fucked.

However, so are you all.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 8:12 pm

"Looks like I'm fucked," says hygraed.

Worm yawns. "We did that yesterday. Maybe you should be, I dunno..."

"I like FIRE!" shrieks Pinback. "BURN HIM!"

Leave it to gsdgsd to make the obvious joke about "burning the maggot." Which he does.

So that's what they do: they hammer a stake into the ground, pile wood around the base, and douse it with kerosene. They bind the sullen hygraed to the stake.

ICJ stands back, squinting at the priest's Bible. "Uhhh, pax vobiscum?" he guesses, and strikes a match and tosses it onto the pile.

You've probably never seen someone being burned alive. Neither had most of the villagers. It's not pretty. For a few minutes hygraed tried to play tough guy, but as the flames licked up his legs, first he pissed himself, and then he started screaming.

And not long after that, he underwent a horrifying but much-anticipated transformation, and there was a shrieking, snapping wolf bound to the pole, its hindquarters already afire. The stench of burning hair rose into the blustery day.

Eventually, the flames reached the wolf's chest, and it was with relief that it greedily inhaled them, and then fell silent.

hygraed was a werewolf.

Now it is Night.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:14 pm

The last morning in Zahburg dawns bright and clear.

Last morning? Why, yes. There are three villagers left. One of them is a wolf.

Either the wolf will be lynched, and the last two can live out their days in (somewhat lonely) peace, or it won't, and after the lynching, it will eat the remaining peasant.

Anyhow, no matter what, it's the last day of our story. And on this day, the villagers don't have to guess. They come out to the square and find Pinback, the local drunken gambler, on the village green. And like his mama, when he's all over the village green, he's all over the village green.

This is not because he is fat.

It is because he has been meticulously flayed, like peeling an apple. His skin has been removed from his body in one long continuous strip. He evidently was still alive and conscious for this process, but his screams were muffled as his cock and balls had been severed and stuffed into his mouth, which was then stitched up. His mutilated crotch was then cauterized with a torch, so he wouldn't bleed to death too fast. Then, after the cautery but before the flaying, the monster that killed him stuffed a nearly-priceless bottle of Blair's Extra Special Reserve 6AM Hot sauce in his ass. An open, shattered bottle.

Two of the villagers surveying this horrific scene have never seen such an agonized expression before, and find it quite disturbing. One has, and enjoyed it immensely, as the sticky ropes of wolf-semen on Pinback's agonized face testify.

Whoever did this to him has artfully arranged the strip of skin, to spell out, in pretty decent cursive, "lastchance."

And that's just what it is.

Three villagers: ICJ, Worm, and gsdgsd. One of them's a wolf. If two of them get it right, then they're saved. And if not...

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:15 pm

The last morning in Zahburg dawns bright and clear.

Last morning? Why, yes. There are three villagers left. One of them is a wolf.

Either the wolf will be lynched, and the last two can live out their days in (somewhat lonely) peace, or it won't, and after the lynching, it will eat the remaining peasant.

Anyhow, no matter what, it's the last day of our story. And on this day, the villagers don't have to guess. They come out to the square and find Pinback, the local drunken gambler, on the village green. And like his mama, when he's all over the village green, he's all over the village green.

This is not because he is fat.

It is because he has been meticulously flayed, like peeling an apple. His skin has been removed from his body in one long continuous strip. He evidently was still alive and conscious for this process, but his screams were muffled as his cock and balls had been severed and stuffed into his mouth, which was then stitched up. His mutilated crotch was then cauterized with a torch, so he wouldn't bleed to death too fast. Then, after the cautery but before the flaying, the monster that killed him stuffed a nearly-priceless bottle of Blair's Extra Special Reserve 6AM Hot sauce in his ass. An open, shattered bottle.

Two of the villagers surveying this horrific scene have never seen such an agonized expression before, and find it quite disturbing. One has, and enjoyed it immensely, as the sticky ropes of wolf-semen on Pinback's tormented face testify.

Whoever did this to him has artfully arranged the strip of skin, to spell out, in pretty decent cursive, "lastchance."

And that's just what it is.

Three villagers: ICJ, Worm, and gsdgsd. One of them's a wolf. If two of them get it right, then they're saved. And if not...

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:40 pm

derrrrrrrrrrrrr

Okay. It's pretty much a in the air thing. However, I'm not a wolf, because that wouldn't be fucking RANDOM.

It is just way too fucking indepth for me to consider that Greg was voting against his wolf brother when he could have had me out of the game and won a day ago. So it's pretty obviously ICJ, if it's not, Greg pulled a pretty unnecessary feign.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:41 pm

Nice try. You ate Pinner last night, you fucking WEREWOLF. That cinches it, you logged on first and tried to be clever.

I vote for Worm.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:44 pm

Oh, and how do I know that Worm is the other wolf? Ha ha ha, I'll tell you why!

Because, I declare, I am the second seer! Pinback was the last guy that I verified as human and look what it got him. Dead. Dead! I am telling you all who I am and by my hand we will kill this last wolf!

Fool me once, shame on you! Won't get fooled again, motherfuckers!

Greg, VOTE FOR THIS GUY! I HAVE A THIRD EYE THAT SEES ALL! (TELLS SOME!)

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:45 pm

THIRD EYE SEES ALL, TELLS SOME!

VOTE FOR WORM!

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:46 pm

Geez. You don't need to flail because you fucked up coordination with Hygraed and were switching around votes like it was going out of style.

You lose, you fucking wolf.

If it's not clear I vote for ICJ. If the wolf is infact greg, I guess he did a good job setting up a specific mindfuck scenario where no one could logically believe he's the wolf by winning late.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:49 pm

Worm wrote:So it's pretty obviously ICJ, if it's not, Greg pulled a pretty unnecessary feign.

I would have killed either you or Greg if I were the werewolf. Why the f would I have killed Pinback? He had less clues than a poorly Tivoed douche commercial on the Mystery channel.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:50 pm

Worm wrote:If the wolf is infact greg, I guess he did a good job setting up a specific mindfuck scenario where no one could logically believe he's the wolf by winning late.

I AM THE SECOND SEER. I FOUND OUT THAT WORM IS A WOLF. DON'T BELIEVE HIM, GREG.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Mon Oct 09, 2006 11:53 pm

1. Killing pinback is it's own reward.

2. Me being the wolf and going right for Hygraed is the same kind of absurd leap of logic it would take for greg to be the wolf. Totally probably, but really outside the way people generally act.

3. Die with dignity, you fucking wolf.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:19 am

Worm wrote:2. Me being the wolf and going right for Hygraed is the same kind of absurd leap of logic it would take for greg to be the wolf. Totally probably, but really outside the way people generally act.

I had the wolves down to you and hygraed. We got hygraed and now, to complete our collection of pelts, we need to get you.

Only, the way that Bruce was describing it I don't think you could make a g-string out of the continguous bits of wolven fur that are left behind one of these things.

And I'm really going to be pissed if we were arguing all night and it turned out to be Greg who was the wolf the entire time. It wouldn't surprise me if he were laughing at us right now.

gsdgsd · Post by **gsdgsd** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:26 am

Before this round, I thought ICJ was the other wolf.

...I still do. I vote to lynch Ice Cream Jonsey.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:38 am

Oh my God, you're the other wolf.

I change my vote to gsdgsd.

gsdgsd · Post by **gsdgsd** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:43 am

Vote-changing... the last refuge of a desperate WOLF.

BURN HIM!!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:11 am

Worm, burn this guy! Look at my voting history: I AM HUMAN!

gsdgsd · Post by **gsdgsd** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:38 am

Yes, look at his voting history... in which he's voted for as many players as possible every single round.

He shows the signs of a mind muddled by turning into a werewolf every night.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 12:49 pm

"Yep," says gsdgsd, swinging the noose around like a lariat, "I reckon it's ICJ."

"Hee hee," snickers Worm.

Ice Cream Jonsey, out-of-work court jester, screams like a little girl, and dashes behind a building.

Worm cocks his head. "I can hear the little bells on his hat jingling, gsdgsd. He's right over...there."

As he hears the footsteps approaching, Jonsey tries to run, but trips over his clown shoes. Worm is on top of him with a knee in his back before he can rise, and gsdgsd hogties him with the rope.

"Thought you'd get away with it, didn'tcha, bwah?" he sneers. "Thought you'd get away with your...lie."

"Hey, Worm, we got any lye?" he shouts.

"Sure thing, Boss," replies Worm. He soon returns with a can of Red Devil. ICJ whimpers as Worm tosses the can to gsdgsd, who opens it.

As he reaches towards Jonsey to start pouring the lye in his eyes, Jonsey snarls and undergoes a terrible transformation. Unfortunately, although humans can be hogtied with their hands and ankles together behind their back, as a wolf, well, this dislocates Jonsey's hips and shoulders. He howls in wolfish agony as gsdgsd smilingly dumps the lye into his eyes.

ICJ begins flopping around and screaming, transforming wildly back and forth from human to wolf. The lye, ever so slowly, eats through his eyes and into his brain. It takes him hours to die, screaming all the while. When he's human he curses Worm, gsdgsd, the other villagers, God, Warren Robinett, all the Saints individually and as a group, Tiger Woods, and Jack Tramiel, among others. When he's a wolf he just shrieks and howls.

Worm and gsdgsd bring up lawn chairs and a cooler of beer to watch the fun. Every so often they get up to administer a good kicking or another dose of lye.

By late afternoon, ICJ has stopped twitching. His lupine tongue protrudes into the dust. Flies have begun to settle on his cooling carcass.

Worm and gsdgsd high-five each other as the sun sets behind the mountains to the west.

The game is over. The peasants have won.