Werewolf: Holiday in Zahnburg

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:05 am

well, i'm dead. Worm, have fun with the rest of the LOSERS.

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:37 am

It's tough being Jack Straw sometimes...

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:55 am

sometimes? gotta keep all these bitches in line, and stay drunk all the time.
ah, the life of a playa. Keep the pimp hand STRONG.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:06 am

I'm away for the weekend to perform a wedding ceremony.

I vote for Vitriola in my absence.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:01 pm

pinback wrote:I'm away for the weekend to perform a wedding ceremony.

I vote for Vitriola in my absence.

You couldn't have mentioned this before you said to count you in?

Sheesh.

Ever notice that "sheesh" sounds a little like "douche" ?

Bruce

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:09 pm

Jack Straw, local haberdasher, was a melancholic. He always said he didn't care much whether he lived or died.

His approach to his work reflected this, too: his clothes were one-size-fits-all dull-beige functional-but-ugly garments. But at least they were cheap.

The townsfolk had, of course, noticed his tendency to get markedly crankier after a certain time of night. It wasn't too long until someone pointed out that, maybe, lycanthropy could be regarded as just an extreme form of crankiness. Heads nodded sagely.

Straw didn't put up much of a fight, pausing merely to make a brief statement: "Don't you understand I am human and have always been? When have I steered you wrong?"

No one paid any attention; the noose was around his neck, he was hoisted off the ground, and after a few minutes of twitching and struggling (and, yes, for all you pervs, with the usual effect of asphyxiation), he was dead.

The corpse hung there from the gibbet, resolutely un-lupine.

Jack Straw's dying words echoed mockingly in the villagers' ears: "Have fun fucking this one up too."

Jack Straw was human.

Now it is Night.

hygraed · Post by **hygraed** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:46 pm

It really can't be any more obvious at this point that the wolf is Vit.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:14 pm

ORLY? When you have been coming after me the whole game? It's that obvious? I do not know who the wolves are, I mourn the loss of Jack Straw, but, had the message not been written in blood that way, I might have guessed someone else. (Also, since he did not care about playing). It could just have been a guess elsewhere. I based it on broken English.

Oh, wait, it's night, so I can't guess here, or really speak about the game, as we are all sleeping. Seriously, does the sun EVER come up in this bitch?

WHERE BRUCE, it's fucking day already. Goddamn pick already, fucking wolves.

(See, I am not a wolf, because I have not put this game behind by my not logging in to give him my picks. Look for the lazy, humans.)

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 3:19 pm

I'm still voting for Vitriola. If she's not a werewolf then at least it's a certain time of the month.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 3:33 pm

Yes, as a matter of fact, it IS the 6th. Comes by about once a month. Good call!

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 3:42 pm

I vote to stake every last one of you.

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 3:55 pm

SHUDDAP IM TRYING TO FUCKIN SLEEP.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:35 pm

Worm wrote:SHUDDAP IM TRYING TO FUCKIN SLEEP.

Yeah, what he said, people.

Shut the fuck up until it's morning again.

It'll be morning once I have my pick from the seer. The wolves have already chosen a victim.

Bruce

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:57 pm

Dawn in Zahnburg.

Usually, about this time, there'd be a "Hear Ye! Hear Ye!" as one of the locals, a down-on-his-luck actor and printer named ChainGangGuy, would finish printing the daily broadsheet on his tiny portable printing press, and then--since most of the inhabitants of Zahnburg are illiterate (although, apparently, at least not one of the wolves)--would proceed to read the broadsheet, complete with a dramatic reenactment of the news within.

It was generally agreed that the recreation of the birth of the Duke's third son, a hydrocephalic mongoloid named Hans, had been ChainGangGuy's finest hour. Indeed, one of the slower-witted villagers had been unable to grasp the concept of drama, and had proposed to ChainGangGuy under the mistaken impression that the town had suddenly acquired a (another?) fertile woman.

But today, in Zahburg, there was no news.

There was just a body in ChainGangGuy's house. His body. His Achilles tendons had been bitten through to hobble him and his hands had had their fingers chewed to bloody pulp, so that he couldn't fight back. Then apparently the wolf had become human again, because how could something with paws carefully melt the lead from the printing press, print up a broadsheet reading, "BURN DOWN MY FOREST? I DON'T THINK SO!", tack it to ChainGangGuy's armoire with a knife, re-melt the lead, and then pour it into ChainGangGuy's eyes and mouth?

ChainGangGuy was a peasant.

As they interred the body, the villagers glared suspiciously at one another. Who would be today's victim?

gsdgsd · Post by **gsdgsd** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 6:18 pm

I vote hygraed. He's too convinced some people are wolves before we have any evidence at all...

Worm · Post by **Worm** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 6:51 pm

I'm voting for Vitriola just because of her stupid fucking "ORLY".

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 6:52 pm

I second Hygraed. It's too un-PC for a gay guy, no matter how small the town, to hate women without some ulterior motive. Therefore, he must be canine.

(It's apparently, for some reason, ok for women to hate men. I don't get it either. Shut the fuck up, bitches.)

HYGRAED.

Vitriola · Post by **Vitriola** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 6:55 pm

Worm wrote:I'm voting for Vitriola just because of her stupid fucking "ORLY".

If you're drunk, and just want to write 'oh, really?', you might Fark that shit if you're about to pass out.

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:09 pm

CO and hygraed: you're still for V?

Don't fucking vote before the sun comes up, people.

Except for Pinback, who's a douche but at least gve clear instructions in his absence.

Bruce

hygraed · Post by **hygraed** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 7:19 pm

If you'll check the times of my posts in the other game, you'll find that I was habitually choosing Vitriola before I found out she was a woman. Thus, your "hygraed hates women" tack is invalid.