TigerCast 2K6

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:26 pm

FUCK YOU, everybody who isn't Tiger Woods!

And fuck you for not letting me post this as TigerCast 2006.

Ernie Els · Post by **Ernie Els** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:35 pm

Damn you, TigerCast2006!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 9:51 pm

Hi, how ya doin'?

What's that?

Oh, you're doing MUCH WORSE THAN TIGERCAST 2K6?

Well, then you have plenty of company in everyone who isn't Tiger Fucking Woods.

EAT ME.

-24.

50 wins three years quicker than anyone else in history.

In summation: All y'all can suck me.

Sincerely,

TigerCast 2000K6

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 1:19 pm

So, this has been a decent year for Eldrick, I would say.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:37 pm

John Ziegler is a douchebag and a Nazi right-wing piece of crap, but he does make an excellent point when he points out that things are "back to normal" now. Why?

Because Tiger just won his sixth straight PGA Tour event by eight strokes, broke a record by being the first player in history to win 8 times in one year three times, has now won 10 of 15 stroke play WGC events, and all this and all that...

...and this week, nobody cares. A few weeks ago, when the streak hit 4, hit 5, everyone was beside themselves, oh, Tiger is back, Tiger is the best thing ever, look how wonderful Tiger is...

...now he wins the sixth by the largest margin in the streak, and noooobody cares.

Reporting Tiger Woods winning is as exciting as reporting domestic violence on Cops.

Enjoy this, people. Even if you don't like golf. This is the most amazing thing ever to happen in sports ever.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:41 pm

I thought Albert Haynesworth stomping on 400 lb Andre Gurode's face would be, but it's actually sort of disappointing.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:49 pm

Yeah, that's weak. Usually when Romey spends 45 minutes repeating the same thing over and over while pausing for minutes at a time between repeats it's more interesting than that.

Unbelievable.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:50 pm

Dear Jim,

All hype and no payoff. That sucked.

Signed,

Al Capone's Vault

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:57 pm

It's too bad that Romey didn't get any other e-mails.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:04 pm

Yeah.

Well, whaddya gonna do.

See, even *I* don't care about Tiger anymore.

This thread sucks.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:10 pm

I wish more people would focus on what goo-running pussies the other golfers are. No wonder they all love the Ryder Cup. Teamed up with 11 other horrible cretins, the Euros can beat him in something. There is no man that has ever consistently crushed me in something like Tiger has other golfers. In fact, this goes for all of you. I'll say it: unless you happen to be, you know, a professional golfer, there's no way ANY of us get consistently humilated at work like the people whipped by Tiger.

But man, it must feel good to get a crack at him with a full team of losers every couple years. You see the Euros laugh and dance and shake their fists. They're all rich and they perform little to no real physical exercise. They should have a permanent, Joker-like grin on their ugly, hatchet-carved faces. But go up 12.5 to 10.5 (what kind of made-up sport has decimal points and fractions) on Tiger's team and they can all finally let their (mangy) (oily) hair down a little.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:16 pm

Also, Romey is an idiot. How long did he go on about "sure, now that they're playing for THEMSELVES, they're GOOD. Hullarious."

Um.

Hey, you four-foot paper-crumbling dickwad.

GOLF IS AN INDIVIDUAL SPORT.

Criticizing a golfer for playing better when he's playing for himself is like criticizing someone who does something that he's supposed to do in his chosen line of work.

Yeah, the Euros are much better at the game than the Americans. Unless they actually play the actual sport in an actual environment where the actual sport is played.

Ryder Cup == All Star Game.

All Star Game == SUCK.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:24 pm

Did you just call him "four foot"? Did you use his odd lack of HEIGHT against him? That's cold man. That's pretty goddamn low.

(silence)

(silence)

Almost as low as Romey!

(paper crumples)

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:27 pm

And no, I'm not going to ready any more of your "Emmanuel Lewis" emails.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:33 pm

Sorry clones. I don't think I need to see faxes from General Tom Thumb and his Traveling Milk Crates.

(silence)

(silence)

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 1:39 pm

Van Smack,

You call that "stomping his head"?

Signed,

Ed Norton in _American History X_