Haley Joel Osment Wrecks His Saturn

Molly Muffsweet · Post by **Molly Muffsweet** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 7:01 am

According to CNN, Sixth Sense star Haley Joel Osment was hospitalized after a car wreck last night. Apparently, the creepy-looking child star (now a creepy-looking 18 year old)--"was driving a 1995 Saturn about 1 AM when the car collided with a brick pillar and flipped."

That's right, Haley Joel Osment drives a fucking 1995 SATURN! Off the top of my head, I can't think of any personal friends who drive a shittier car than Haley "Secondhand Lions" Osment! Hilarious.

Just for some perspective:

Worldwide Theatrical Gross for the Sixth Sense: $673,000,000

Price of a 1995 Saturn: $2,000 - $5,000

Dude has an Oscar nomination and a car that came out when he was in kindergarten. There better be an XBox in there or something.

The article claims Osment was driving alone when the incident occurred, but I have a feeling Bruce Willis was right there beside him, but no one else noticed. You gotta look for the clues, people.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 3:38 pm

It's all his parents would let him drive because they don't want the Olsen twins disease happening to him. Or the Drew Barrymore disease. Or the River Phoenix disease. or the Paris Hilton disease.

THE
DISEASED
AARDVARK

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:42 pm

Yeah, but there's taking it too far, I think. What if he smashed it up? It would be such a huge story that he would be mocked relentlessly on the Internet for it.

I mean, let him drive something neutral like a Volvo or a ... what's the word for any car other than a 95 Saturn?

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:13 pm

At first I thought you were being harsh, but on a consecutive visit I realized that my (female) fiance has a 2000 saturn.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:15 pm

I think that's A-Okay, so long as she doesn't also have an Oscar.

Actually, Three Name here is, what, 18? Then you know what? Good for him. Good for him that he's driving a wreck. My first car was an 87 S-10 truck. Since it was 1992 that I got it, I guess that makes me more of a Little Lord Fauntleroy than Hale.

Your first car should be a piece of crap. It ought to be a law. It's the only way you ever appreciate automobiles later.

ChainGangGuy · Post by **ChainGangGuy** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:34 pm

Well Molly, Haley had a nicer car - he just payed it foward.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 6:45 pm

1 A.M. the guy hits a milbox and flips his car. Hmmm, how much speed does it take to flip a car on a mailbox pad? Anyone hear the results of the blood tests?

THE
FED-EX
AARDVARK

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:27 am

AArdvark wrote:Anyone hear the results of the blood tests?

Drunk and high.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/Leg ... SFeeds0312

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 10:40 am

Now we know the real reason why he was seing dead people.

I say this because if I don't... everyone else will.