I wrote a joke, which is rare for me. It went like this:
If you are unfamiliar with football, a "cut" is when you change directions quickly. If you are unfamiliar with miss-your-period-crazy, knife-wielding football wives, a "cut" is when you sociopathically stab your NFL defensive back husband in the knee, even though that and the eyes are the most important part of a world-level athlete and your ass will be kicked the curb faster than the Colts would his if you damaged his career. (No shame if you weren't aware, I had to look it up myself.)Q: Why was Nick Harper unable to change directions and get past Big Ben at the end of the game on Sunday?
A: Because Mrs. Harper is responsible for all the good cuts in that family.
Two days go by and our columnist is apparently targeted by Isiah "Hi Jim I just got back from Red Lobster" Thomas and Isiah is going to kill him or some stupid shit. Who knows. I think nothing of my unacknowledged e-mail, figuring the guy is busy trying to buy a Kevlar shirt from Gothic Auctions.
Well, I tune in today to see his column.
What the fuck is this shit? Did I just get ripped off? Or was the ha-ha, cuts can mean two things deal so obvious that everyone thought of it as soon as it happened? I'm either genuinely unable to make up jokes or fucking incensed here, I don't know which. Help me out here.NOT ME wrote:What were the odds that the ball would bounce right to Harper (the guy who was allegedly stabbed in the knee by his wife the night before), and what were the odds that Harper could have scored a touchdown simply by racing to the sideline, but instead chose to make a crazy cut back toward the field, where a wobbling Ben Roethlisberger somehow tackled him? Two inexplicable cuts in the span of 18 hours!
