Oceans 12, Spanglish and almost Hotel Rwqanda

[Knuckles the CLown]

Fucking terrible. Julia Roberts looks like skeletor, Catherine Zeta-Jones-Kersey Joyner looks like Eurotrash and they have some maggot foreigner playing a rival thief. He looks like he should have been in Star Wars since he is ugly and probably Austral-Eng blah blah,

Here's the movie-

A series of uncomforatable silences and deadpans. A plot that is a mess. It is isn't hard to follow but the twists are just fucking stupid. SPOLIER ALERT

They are going after the Brut Egg and have a machine that will make a 3-D image of it so nobody knows that it is missing. I honestly was so bored I can't tell if the goddamned thing (hologram machine) was used or not. The egg ends up in a hippie back pack on a train. The cast fakes a Red Sox Yankees brawl (seriously) to distract the bag (which is sitting unguarded on a train) from noticing that they are going to steal it's contents. Read that again. Instead of walking up to the bag and taking the Egg, they feel a need to fake a fight to apparently distract an unalarmed static object.

End of spoilers
Now I may have missed something in the above but the movie was such a goddamned clusterfuck of assumptions I assumed the position of boredom and missed what the hell was going on.

Bruce Willis makes a needless apperance.
Topher Grace's 20 second perfomracne is Oscar worthy.

Now, my choices on Direct T.V. were Spanglish, Ocean's 12 and Hotel Rwanda (other choices included movies I won't watch). Much to my chagrin I enjoy Don Cheadle as much as pinball. This should have been double feature night.
Unlike you faggotts I don't have 6 hours to waste slobering over movies. Hotle Rwanda will have to wait because too much Don Chedle would spoil the Cheadle.

Spanglish

I don't think this is a chick flick so I watched. Curious to see Adam Sandler in a Dramatic role. His career path is 7 years behind that moron Jim Carreys. Surprisingly I have nothing bad to say about this movie other thanb the (white) daughter in this movie looks like a cabbage patch doll. Sandler limits his outbursts and Tia Leone plays the wifes role form American Beauty. The best part of the film is decideing whether the Spanish housekeeper is good looking or not. In one scene she looks hot, in other she looks like those kids who sniff rubber glue in Guatamalla and have the fucked up hairlips. She looks like Penelope Cruz whit a bicycle tire stuck in her upper lip.

I will rate the movies with what I rather would've payed five bucks for.

Oceans 12- 0 on the movie 5 on a package of the expensive Q-tips
Spanglish- 4 on the movie a dollar towards the Guatamalean Hairl Lip fund.