[ARMY OF LOVE] Pinback's Women 2K5!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue May 31, 2005 10:49 am

MESSAGE 100

Okay, we can take this a number of different ways. Let's make this an informal poll, so you, the reader, can feel like you're involved with the process, even though I'm likely to ignore your wishes and do whatever I want.

RE: THE LUCY SITUATION, we can continue in one of the following ways:

WAY 1: I can provide a daily log of any Lucy-related contact.
Advantages: Guaranteed continual content.
Disadvantages: Content likely to be very boring.

WAY 2: I can turn it into the World's Greatest (or Worst, Depending On How You Look At It) Whine Session, and just complain (as I have so many times in the past) about what rotten luck I have and the whole world is against me and I wish I was dead, etc.
Advantages: Content likely to be funny, in a pathetic way.
Disadvantages: Content DEFINITELY to be pathetic, and cause you all to lose respect for me.
Then Again: Who respects me anyway?

WAY 3: I can start making shit up, and tell the story how it would go if I was Jesus and could just make whatever shit I wanted to happen happen.
Advantages: Would tell a fun story which we could all follow along with and put our two-bit opinions in about.
Disadvantages: Well, posting that I'm going to do it kind of defeats the purpose of doing it in the first place, as the only joy I would get out of it would be fooling you people and making you look stupid.

WAY 4: I only update you when something notable or interesting happens.
Advantages: Concise, efficient.
Disadvantages: Unlikely to generate much (or any) content.

WAY 5: Just stop posting in this thread altogether.
Advantages: May give you a fleeting moment of smug joy when you vote for this.
Disadvantages: Isn't this BBS dead enough already?

I now leave the decision up to you good people. Sort of.

chris · Post by **chris** » Tue May 31, 2005 1:01 pm

Option 5.....I just don't see this whole Lucy thing panning out for ya, so you're better off just cutting off the thread so you don't have to look at it in the future.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue May 31, 2005 1:06 pm

Yeah. Yeah, that is probably the way to go.

Any chance this thread is best-of material at this point, though?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Tue May 31, 2005 1:14 pm

Why are people constantly choosing "Thread Options" that result in there being LESS content posted here? This place is finally worth coming to after a long... LONG hiatus. I mean, the entire year of 2004 except when Knuckles and Debaser posted were flyover territory. The BBS novelization of Wyoming.

Of course, it's mostly due to the fact that everyone now hates each other. But I tried the whole "This is a nice community to play and type in" thing and it resulted in a sterile avenue of nothingness.

You know what *I* choose? Actually, you probably do based on what I wrote up above. But anyway, I choose the option that results in the most updates, comments, namecalling, uneasy trucing, breaking of uneasy truces, aggressive puppeteering and racial baiting. This "Lucy" is Indian? Well my friends Pinner just opened himself up to a bobsled of comedy and there's room enough for everyone to slide on. I say that because this bulletin board is divided into two sections -- people who have worked with Indians because they create software and people who have worked with Indians because they create Slushies. The goal is to get from one to another, but warning! You won't be happy at either. Just look what it's doing to Pinner in the case of the former and Knuckles in the case of the latter.

I vote "excruciating detail."

k. roo · Post by **k. roo** » Tue May 31, 2005 1:48 pm

First hand experience tells me that both, Indian woman and men tend to be servile and submissive, although their clans do not, as Aardvark correctly pointed out before. So, sorry pinback, since you're not the dominant type, I can't see this going anywhere but depression with the requisite descent into alcoholism, overeating and reams of self-pitying livejournal drivel. On the other hand, given the culinary implications and the slightly oblique hint that you finally show remote signs of conceptual continuity, I don't want to be the one crushing this fragile flower of future family feuds, and therefore vote Mango Chutney!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue May 31, 2005 2:21 pm

Believe me, if there's one thing this broad ain't, it's servile and submissive. She's Indian in looks only. She's a volatile mixture of Jersey and SoCal in every other way. Except she's nice.

chris · Post by **chris** » Tue May 31, 2005 4:35 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Why are people constantly choosing "Thread Options" that result in there being LESS content posted here? This place is finally worth coming to after a long... LONG hiatus. I mean, the entire year of 2004 except when Knuckles and Debaser posted were flyover territory. The BBS novelization of Wyoming.

It's quality, not quantity, that matters. 1000 posts from Pinback about trying to bag this chick and failing wouldn't be nearly as entertaining as a 5 message thread where Nessman admits he drank Ryan Seacrest's "protein shake".

Ya wanna get some good discussions rolling? Pick a random topic each day to post about, and see what everybody has to say about it. I'll start:

I read today that Paris Hilton is marrying a guy she's known only for a few months....also named Paris. DISCUSS.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue May 31, 2005 5:44 pm

In Plain English...

You go out with this chic and you end up living in a 'fridge box drinking cheap wine and begging internet time in a McDonalds hot zone so you can post to us about how you once had a blue, palm infested apartment and a reasonable facsimile of a life. (imaginary resaturants excluded)

JUST DONT DO IT!

Remember the taste of that Five Guys burger? Date her and you might NEVER eat one again.

THE
LAST
DEFENCE
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue May 31, 2005 5:45 pm

chris wrote:It's quality, not quantity, that matters. 1000 posts from Pinback about trying to bag this chick and failing wouldn't be nearly as entertaining

But... but I could make that VERY entertaining! I can do it, really I can!

I swear!

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue May 31, 2005 5:47 pm

AArdvark wrote:In Plain English...

You go out with this chic and you end up living in a 'fridge box drinking cheap wine and begging internet time in a McDonalds hot zone so you can post to us about how you once had a blue, palm infested apartment and a reasonable facsimile of a life. (imaginary resaturants excluded)

Does anybody understand what my man here is trying to say? In Plain English, no less? I go out with lucy, and, what, I become a homeless? Why would I become a homeless?

Remember the taste of that Five Guys burger? Date her and you might NEVER eat one again.

I don't understand anything you just said.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue May 31, 2005 5:49 pm

Your own mental well being at stake for a few laughs. Migh as well stuff the fog machine full of 'shrooms again and do that server at the Blue Palm Pilot restaurant you own.

THE
TRIPPING WITH
THE FISHES
AARDVARK

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue May 31, 2005 5:53 pm

But... what... what do you suggest I DO??

"I need help!" - Gomer Pyle, _Full Metal Jacket_

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Tue May 31, 2005 5:54 pm

pinback wrote:She's Indian in looks only.

So, let me guess, big hooked shaped nose, right?

Casual Observer · Post by **Casual Observer** » Tue May 31, 2005 6:19 pm

pinback wrote:She says, "And, well, my parents want me to be with an Indian, so, they've got Indian matching sites for that."

I have lots of experience working with and talking to Indian women (software ones, btw), and one thing I’m sure of is that their parents have a huge amount of control in this regard. Hell, these people still do arranged marriages. – NOT GOOD FOR PINBACK

pinback wrote:"No, actually, he's black. And I haven't told my parents.

Ever see “Mississippi Masala”, Indians can be quite racist because the English have made them feel bad about themselves – GOOD FOR PINBACK

pinback wrote:But you know, I'm 30 now, and I'm sick of living for them!"

Bullshit. She’ll fold if they pressure her to marry an Indian. You’ll think things are fine and then next thing you know she’ll come back from a trip to India married to someone with mostly consonants in his name. – NOT GOOD FOR PINBACK

Overall, if you were black or Hispanic then you probably wouldn’t stand much of a chance but a white guy is probably the next best thing to an Indian to her parents.

pinback wrote:But... what... what do you suggest I DO??

Considering your previous luck with women and the dearth of women knocking down your door, you ought to try your personal best with every woman that will listen. She’s even seen your site and doesn’t seem to think you’re a complete dweeb, so that’s a bonus.

chris · Post by **chris** » Tue May 31, 2005 7:17 pm

pinback wrote:Does anybody understand what my man here is trying to say? In Plain English, no less? I go out with lucy, and, what, I become a homeless? Why would I become a homeless?

High maintenance chick = lots of stuff for her + no fun stuff for Pinback?

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Tue May 31, 2005 7:20 pm

When did she become high maintenance?

Roody_Yogurt · Post by **Roody_Yogurt** » Tue May 31, 2005 8:48 pm

Since Robb mentioned Slushies, I offer this helpful link:

http://www.thebrainfreeze.com/

That is my contribution to this thread.

chris · Post by **chris** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 7:30 am

pinback wrote:When did she become high maintenance?

Lots of baggage = high maintenance

Besides, if your object is to woo her away from her long-distance relationship, it's gonna cost you....big.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 7:51 am

Hey, is this a good sign?

There's a send-off party at a bar tonight for a few people who are leaving the company. I asked her "hey, you going?" She all "Oh, is that tonight? Where is it?"

So we look up where it is, and what have you, and I ask again, "So, you think you're going?" Her answer was: "Yeah, if you're going."

Good sign?

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Jun 01, 2005 10:06 am

Ask her out. Show her you don't care about whoever she "claims" to be "dating." And beat somebody up on the way to the restaurant, preferably someone who looks like how you think her unboyfriend might look (who doesn't exist anyway, so you've got a lot of leeway there).

I also request more messages from Clash on the subject, since he will never, ever post here himself.