Another NFL season comes to a close

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sun Jan 02, 2005 10:43 pm

The 2004 New Orleans Saints are the only team that I have seen pack it in during the second game of the NFL season.

It's quite true. Years from now history will forget, but I won't -- the 2004 San Francisco 49ers were putting street free agents on their defensive line due to injury. For game two they started guys who weren't in camp with them, or anyone. Ken Dorsey was the quarterback in his first game for Christ's sake! If you get beat by a quarterback starting his first game, ever, it's actually indicative of a mess of failures within your organization and Dorsey, to his credit, almost did it.

The 49ers would have won the game if backup running back Jamal Robertson didn't fumble and give the Saints one more crack with the ball, and even Yahoo didn't mention it in the recap. The Saints had given up on the season, but an unforced miscue gave them a second chance.

I can't fully explain how little they wanted to win that game. My brother said once that the team seemed like they were more interested in hitting up the strip clubs and giving each other a hotfoot than actually playing football on Sunday and it was true from the get-go. I saw them play with a lead in the third quarter once as far as I could remember, and that was today. They acted like a team that was shocked at what time the game started each week. As if they were a disorganized flag football team. Whoa, one o'clock?!! What the? Is it early this week? Sure coach, I'll get right to the game, don't take the coin flip till I get there! Where's my helmet?

I blamed the coach -- Jim Haslett -- and his co-ordinators (Mike McCarthy on the offense and Rick Venturi on the defense) and I guess I still do, a little. For years now the Saints just don't play like they got any sleep the night before or with any indication that things like shovel passes, end-arounds or screens have been around for more years than Pinback has teams. The "surprised" emoticon would best express what they had going on all year.

Now? Who knows. If the NFL expanded to seven playoff teams the Saints would be in, as they would the last few years. But why do I get the sense that they'd play just hard enough to be #8 in that case?

Two teams made it this year at 8-8 and it really burns me that my mediocre team wasn't good enough to be one of them, especially since we beat one of them outright (the Rams). As bad as things are in New Orleans I'd hate to have to wish that my Super Bowl draught would end with Mike Fucking Tice at the helm. Jesus Christ, the fastest person who has ever played the game is on your team and he also has the best hands and you're losing to Washington? Really? With Ramsey and Betts? This is a playoff football team! I may actually wager against them next week because it would be the best way to demonstrate how incompetent I think he is. I would like to make money, personally, due to how bad he is at his job.

Did I mention that if his shitty team had defeated the laughable, Arrington-and-Portis-less Redskins the Saints would be in the playoffs? I meant to.

I don't even blame former Saints kicker Doug Brien for missing the 90 yarder the Jets had him try, which again would have put us in the playoffs. The way that Haslett cut him I wouldn't have blamed him if, rather than kick the ball, he simply took off his pants, revealed "FUCK" on leftie and "HASLETT" on rightie and allowed the Rams special teams to take the ball from the holder and run it back to the end zone, ending the game that way. I sort of credit Herman Edwards for not just taking his guys off the field when they had nothing to play for, but fuck, Brien's range is about 30 yards and a tie would have been just as good. Punt it -- THAT'S WHY YOU PLAY THE GAMES!!! (I am quoting what he said when asked about his playoff chances a couple years ago during his press conference meltdown. That is what I am doing.)

Anyway. Another complete waste of time. Another $180 down the drain for the ticket and another YEAR before there's any chance of playoff football for me and the Saitns winning a Super Bowl in my lifetime just got the tiniest bit more unlikely and unbelievable with the passage of time and I am slightly less able to enjoy things like I could at the start of the season and by "things" I mean anything and ...

Ah, fuck it, Brooks to Horn is the nicest tandem I've ever seen in my life and Charles Grant put in the most dominating season of defensive end in the Saints' history. We fix this offensive line and play a little better in the first quarter, we're right in the mix for that seventh spot next year, which I totally hear they're going to expand to.

Bugs · Post by **Bugs** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:24 am

45 days until pitchers and catchers report.

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:28 am

48 days till the Daytona 500!

3 days till the start of the 2005 PGA season!

Get a real sport.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:34 am

Bugs wrote:45 days until pitchers and catchers report.

Yeah. Our shitty team now doesn't have its best offensive player so I think we're looking at 70 wins if we're lucky. The off-season priority should not have been "sign a pitcher" but rather "escape AL East."

pinback · Post by **pinback** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:39 am

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote: Yeah. Our shitty team now

Now, remind me again, which city you've never lived in do you root for in baseball? It's hard to keep track of all the different sports you watch, and all the different cities you've never lived in which you claim in each of them.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:00 am

Yeah, it's important to live in the same city as the team you root for, I really should be pulling for the Rochester Nobodies in football, the Rochester Vacancies in baseball and the Rochester Red Absents in hockey; it's crazy.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:04 pm

ROBB

Try being a Browns fan this year shithead.

AND I know what's coming next. The Rochester herbs are going to dazzle us their minor league sports shit (minus RobB who seems to like real sports) Let's hear them try and tell you how great their minor league teams are, and how they prefer them to "Major League" Sports.

I'll save Chris, Ardvark and Co. the time. As long as Rochester doesn't have a major sports team it is not a major city. BWHAHAH CLEVELAND IS TERRIBLE IN EVERYTHING BUT STILL ROCKS!!

If I ever go to Rochester I will hit you guys up for tickets to a Women's minor league WNBA game!

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:08 pm

Damn my post went three times.I WILL EDIT!!

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:08 pm

bruce · Post by **bruce** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:38 pm

Shit, I didn't realize how horrible the fate I avoided Sunday night was.

See, because my flight out of St. Louis was delayed, I missed my connection to Washington Dulles. Fortunately I was barely able to get on a flight to Baltimore instead. If I hadn't, I would have been stuck in Cleveland, which, in addition to sucking because it's Cleveland, also contains KNuckles. That would have really, really sucked. Here's hoping I don't get stuck Wednesday there.

But if I do, KNuckles, are there any dive bars near the airport with ugly but cheap strippers who'll give handjobs in the parking lot for ten bucks? I mean, I'm guessing "yes" since that pretty much describes every business in Cleveland, even the travel agencies.

Bruce

Da King · Post by **Da King** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:57 pm

My only defense of Rochester is that at least we have minor league teams who can win.

If we want major league teams who can lose, we've got Buffalo just 75 minutes away!

Cleveland has both major AND minor league teams who can lose. I'm not sure if that makes you a winner, or a loser.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:22 pm

Our Minor league ballroom dancing team is the best in the Tri State area. Wait whats the 3rd state? Maybe Bi-State. Anyhow who gives a fuck if a minor league team wins. Great, a team with 952nd best player hit a home run and will leave the second he gets good. Where do I send my money for season tickets. (Wait that sounds like the major leagues with the Yankees, bad reference)

Falcons-Steelers Super Bowl. Only cause TO got Hurt and I hate the Patriots.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:24 pm

I'll go Packers - Colts, but that prediction is not backed by any sort of logic. Every team that has won as many games in a row as the Steelers has won the Super Bowl and they probably will too, but what the hell.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:27 pm

Packers-Colts. That sounds like something some fag in a magazine would predict in the preseason.

If it is Packers-Colts. I will post a picture of myself on here.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:33 pm

If the Falcons lose their only playoff game by less than 10 I'll turn this entire place into Knuckles's Bad Touch Emporium for a week.

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:35 pm

Can I just choose the colors for a day. Black and Slate reminds me of my shit after eating at Baskin Robbins.

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 4:22 am

Thanks to the NHL lockout the Americans ARE a major sports team. And doing pretty good too.

THE
HOCKEY
HOCKEY
HOCKEY
AARDVARK

Knuckles the CLown · Post by **Knuckles the CLown** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:40 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:If the Falcons lose their only playoff game by less than 10 I'll turn this entire place into Knuckles's Bad Touch Emporium for a week.

ahem

Da King · Post by **Da King** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 4:51 pm

Knuckles the CLown wrote:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:If the Falcons lose their only playoff game by less than 10 I'll turn this entire place into Knuckles's Bad Touch Emporium for a week.
ahem

That prediction was almost as good as the Packers-Colts call.

Jack Straw · Post by **Jack Straw** » Thu Jan 20, 2005 7:36 pm

[quote="Ice Cream Jonsey"]The 2004 New Orleans Saints are the only team that I have seen pack it in [quote]

sick, dude

Another NFL season comes to a close

Another NFL season comes to a close

Re: Another NFL season comes to a close