NFL Week Three Picks

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Fri Sep 20, 2002 12:32 pm

OK, I originally posted this on another forum. However, as this place has been starved for content, I am attempting to fix this situation with a good three or four minutes worth of reading. Or, six or seven if you read at a slower rate!! This is why there is a reference to somebody at the end who has never posted here.

At any rate. I went 8-8 last week which is pretty damn bad considering I am just picking winners and not against "the spread." Without further ado:

Minnesota over Carolina: Last week Mike Tice had the ball twice in overtime. Not once did he take a shot downfield with Randy Moss. I hope it felt good when he screamed down Doug Brien, but he did absolutely nothing in overtime (offensively) to try to win that game. One of the best (if not THE best) big-play guys in the league and all he got was a token screen pass? Winfield and Clements can tackle anyone on the planet. They can't necessarily jump with anyone and everyone. Awful. If this is how Tice plans on coaching, he could have Jim Brown and John Riggins in his backfield and be calling tackle-eligble reverse screens on 3rd and one. Jackass.

Philadelphia over Dallas: Philly looked great. What else can you say?

New England over Kansas City: Note to Bill Simmons, the ESPN Sports Guy -- regarding the last bit in your column earlier today, the Steelers in fact have won four Super Bowls, and when they did lose one it was not by 36 freaking points. Great writer, but cannot handle his team being this good.

Miami over NY Jets: It only becomes interesting with Miami (like it does with Oakland) once the playoffs begin. Them winning out in September and October doesn't mean anything with their December record.

San Diego over Arizona: I caught some of the Seattle - Arizona game, and it was more a case of Seattle's defense being bad than Thomas Jones being good. But more on that...

NY Giants over Seattle: ... right here. The Giants seem, to me, to be a kind of team that thinks they have to run due to some higher mandate or whatever. They were taking it to the air well enough to win their opener, but they kept calling these crappy sweeps that were quickly snuffed out. The Giants will probably run right over Seattle, thus falsely making their staff think that they can run at any time they wish.

Cleveland over Tennessee: If you're going to be an NFL backup, you might as well be one for the Titans. It's guaranteed that you'll get into six games each year it seems.

Indianapolis over Houston: Nice to see that Dungy didn't bring the Colts down to his previous high scores on offense. Three straight attempts with James at the goal line. They ought to give Butch Rolle a call or do something to mix it up a bit in that situation.

New Orleans over Chicago: I haven't picked the Saints yet, so I'll hop on the bandwagon here.

Denver over Buffalo: Usually, when a team is in close games each week they are said to "bring teams down to their level." This usually implies 14-10 games or whatever. Buffalo brings you "down" to their level, but the scores are like 36-30. Oh, and David Treadwell could have been a little less smug when relating his thoughts on how this game will go, seeing how this is the team that he shanked three field goals against in a frigging championship game.

Green Bay over Detroit: I'd bet the over on this. Green Bay can't play defense and Favre is going to work out his frustrations on the worst team, by far, in the NFL.

Frisco over Washington: I would think that Washington's defense won't remain shitty forever, but I think it will for one more week. And faubergast, what's this shit about you voluntarily offering up your handle if the Redskins don't win? There is a very good chance that Danny Weurffel is going to start this game. I wouldn't make a bet that relied on him pulling through in the NFL if the stakes were nothing more than me making my bed. Especially if he needs to come back at the end of a game -- if he enters this game down seven with two minutes to go the guy that Alcoa sends to the game is contractually free to get himself roaring drunk and turn his camera on the hippie Garcia-lives fags making out in the crowd. I understand where you are coming from and until Rumph learns the game the Niners secondary will probably suck a bit, but no matter how much disarray your own team happens to be in, there is probably one team out there who is in much worse shape than yours. The Skins are such a team.

Atlanta over Cincy

TB over St. Louis. How the hell is Terrence Wilkins still having trouble learning the plays? How fucking difficult is it to run twenty yards, turn to face Warner, and then make a catch and immediately turtle up if there is anyone around? I understand that these coaches who have success wish to be the GM because they don't want anyone around who can either fire or veto them, but there needs to be some sort of new position created for these guys along the lines of Assistant Director of Player Personnel where someone else goes out and brings in free agents, runs the draft, and sets a guy like Wilkins down in front of NFL2K3 and watches as the dude's lips move as he tries to quietly and slowly read the plays on the screen to himself.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Sep 23, 2002 7:42 pm

12-1 going into tonight. GO BUCS! I need a 13-1 week like www.smug.com needs a dollop of fresh content.

Ben · Post by **Ben** » Mon Sep 23, 2002 7:53 pm

Impressive, not only for the 12-1 record thusfar, but primarily for the depth and breadth of NFL knowledge which you appear to possess (unless you're just copying all this stuff from a newspaper or something.)

I mean, me, I sometimes enjoy watching everyone run around on a field and throw the ball and score points and YAY, but you appear to actually have coherent, analytical thoughts about not only the outcome of each game, but about the specifics of how that score will be arrived at, including throwing in names of people I've never heard of!

It's either really impressive or just sad. Or more likely, as is the case when I start going off on roller coasters or poker, it's a little from column A, and a little from column B.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Wed Sep 25, 2002 1:18 am

13-1 after TB won, but keep in mind that I was just picking winners, not against the spread. 13-1 or 14-0 isn't great if you are just picking outright. I'll give it a shot against the line this week for the hell of it.

I mean, me, I sometimes enjoy watching everyone run around on a field and throw the ball and score points and YAY, but you appear to actually have coherent, analytical thoughts about not only the outcome of each game, but about the specifics of how that score will be arrived at, including throwing in names of people I've never heard of!

Well, that's nice of you to say, but it's kind of sad in a way because there are only three things in this world that my opinion thereof is not completely valueless:

1) video games
2) pro football
3) MY RHYME OF DUOTIME, FRIEND, OH MINE RHYME INDEED