Bulbous, also Tapered

[k. roo]

Dear Dr. Sommer,

Some advice is needed.

Advice from you semi-anonymous internet yahoos, since I have no aquaintances with even a hint of literacy, let alone friends in real life, nor cna I spel `acquanitncae.'

I've been taking guitar lessons in the back room of some crummy music store for the last, uh, half year. While I've never really been able to pinpoint why exactly I went there week after week, my teacher's been doing an alright job at making me come back despite the fact that the store owners gear their policies more towards 13-year-olds (fair enough, but once you hit 30 it does become harder and harder to put up with "class schedules" and "make-up lessons," and such crap), which has to count for something.

So now my teacher is quitting, and I feel the need for self-evaluation. Am I doing this because

1) I like the penile look and feel of a slender yet taut guitar neck,
2) I day dream about impressing my friend one day with my skillz, should they ever materialize,
3) I hope to graduate beyond Louie Louie when I hit 40,
4) There's nothing else to do in Jersey,
5) I want to join the circus and run away from home,
6) Other.

Considering the above, should I

a) Stay at the same place and accept whoever replacement the owners feel like ramming down my throat,
b) Quit,
c) Take the teacher's leaving as a convenient point to leave the store and look for a teacher elsewhere,
d) Ask for advice from semi-anonymous internet yahoos,
e) MONKEY MONKEY,
f) Quit my day job and enroll full-time at the Rutgers Music Dept.

Discuss.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Don't quit, man. I, for one, have always regretted not learning how to play guitar and I will do my best to encourage those that can play to keep playing.

Can't hurt to see who the new teacher is at the store, right? I hear you on how little patience you can have for deadline bullshit and make-up lessons and whatever. My company wants me to finish the last two years of college schooling, and I am really dreading mandatory attendance, which I know I will probably be in for, seeing how Colorado State doesn't exactly scream "you're on your own" to me. If I find myself, next year, at age 29 and trying to convince some lifer teaching Assembly that I only missed three classes and not four, and therefore he should not fail me it's going to be a very sobering thought.

Hey, Less Than Jake were from Jersey, right? Is the place really as bad as they make it sound?

[k. roo]

Can't hurt to see who the new teacher is at the store, right?

There's this little tacky disgusting dark secret of mine that I never dare to even think about when the light is on. But since you are just a bunch of seminymous pimples beneath Catherine Skidmore's Lady's beard, unlikely to actually come over and physically harm Mr. Bald Headed John, I might as well confess.

See, I'm trying to get into Jazz. I'm not seventeen anymore and can afford it, so shut up. Now I have this idee fixe stuck in my head that the only teacher I could take seriously on this subject would have to be black. There, I said it. Pretty sick, huh? I mean, Metheny ain't black, and Scofield's on the light side, too, right? Coryell is white, and you can't shake a pick at him either. So wtf is my problem? I don't know, inappropriately perceived authenticity or something, or maybe I just had to spill. (Thanks, Dr. Sommer.) I think I've already met the guy who's likely to be the teacher starting 10/1, although nobody knows anything definite yet. I also think he's Brazilian. That's probably a start.

...finish the last two years of college schooling...

What can I say -- I dropped out, and finished on my own something like two years after my class mates. Why? Because w/o degree there wasn't anything else to do. Nuff said.

Hey, Less Than Jake were from Jersey, right? Is the place really as bad as they make it sound?

It's mainly the stigma to live in the country's armpit where you can't take a dump without anyone watching. If you're creative, and otherwise capable of having a life, you won't fare worse in Jersey than anywhere else.

Not that I wouldn't move away at the drop of a hat.