Disappointment

Da King · Post by **Da King** » Sat Apr 24, 2004 1:35 pm

No ICJ draft day preview this year? How disappointing.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Apr 24, 2004 5:42 pm

Here's a quick preview of the draft:

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

Strengths: defensive line, offensive line
Weaknesses: linebackers, cornerbacks

WHAT THEY WILL FUCKING TAKE IN THE FIRST ROUND

Defensive line. HURRROR!!! BEST PLAYER AVAILABLE HA HA HOCK.

Another year, another fucking miserable draft. Even if Will Smith becomes the best defensive end in the league, for Christ's sake, move up a spot and take D.J. Williams so the Broncos can't fuck us over.

Oh! And absolutely DO NOT SIGN Ian Gold. He's only one of the best young linebackers in the NFL. Having the worst LB corps is okay. Gold cannot help us. Apparently.

Fuck this shit.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Apr 24, 2004 5:52 pm

However, I should say -- I am happy we got the #1 DE. It's a premium position. But still... Loomis and Haslett are TERRIBLE at the draft.

How Randy Mueller still doesn't have a team when a penny-pinching clownshoe like Loomis does absolutely confounds me.

Also, the draft was pretty much unwatchable. Here's why:

1) I hate Chris Berman. Ever since he started that shit with Marc Bulger ("HA HA, it's like RAY BOLGER from the Wizard of Oz! So everytime I do a Rams highlight I'll go DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DA-DUM DAH!!! HURRRF!") I FUCKING HATE him and his tired act. "Ho, ho, ho, the cabbie told me who the Bills are going to take! Ho, ho!" God, I wish an Afghani killed him this week and not Tillman.

2) There were four commercials in rotation. And they had at least a 1:1 content:commercial ratio. Unwatchable. Hey, some wretched manfag at Coors Light has a fetish for twins. Did you know that? Were you aware, Steven? I was. And now, so is the rest of America, because that ad where the miserable motherfucker gets glasses that show double was -- honestly -- played for every goddamn commercial break.

3) Too much cocksucking in general. Some shitty GM makes a pick, everyone rushes to talk to them, and they ALL say the same thing about how they just had to take the guy. No interesting commentary has been given since Tobin blew up at Kiper. And this stuff where Berman pretends to be a Bills fan but is really a Niners fan disgusts me as well.

4) ESPN went to commercial for the Saints trade in the second round to the Vikes, then to both of the Saints picks in round two. A coincidence, maybe, but they had to do so many commercials it wasn't.

5) No announcement of trades. They kept harping on the Eli Manning deal. NO SHIT, WINGO. Who do they think watches the draft? I watched it from 10:00am until 6:00pm. I knew about the Manning deal. I really didn't need it rehashed every ten minutes.

6) If "Punch Corey Chavous in his smarmy twat of a face" is ever available for something I can put in my cart on Amazon.com, I am buying like ten of them. Jon Jansen is miserable as well. Kyle Boller had the "I have no wide receivers and I am going to try to look good on TV so that when I am out of the league at the end of the season I might get a TV analysis job" act going. Hated all that nonsense.

I just wish they could have told us who got taken, what the trades were and then give us video on the picks.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Apr 24, 2004 5:52 pm

To reiterate: Chris Berman has ruined the NFL.

Da King · Post by **Da King** » Sun Apr 25, 2004 11:35 am

Thank you. That is the type of draft day coverage I am used to.

However, two points:

(a) I like Berman. Yeah, his act might get tired after awhile... but dammit, he brings something to the coverage. I just like the guy.

(b) How the FUCK do you have a problem with beer commercials feature hot twins????

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 9:45 am

Da King wrote:Thank you. That is the type of draft day coverage I am used to.

I know. I wish I could do more. I've spent just about every free moment trying to beta test the game that you shot pictures for back in 2001.

(a) I like Berman. Yeah, his act might get tired after awhile... but dammit, he brings something to the coverage. I just like the guy.

I'm just anti-catch phrase as of late, especially when it comes to sports. I can't recall a more groupthink subset of people. Somebody comes up with a different turn of phrase and it's EVERYWHERE. For a while there, every single baseball that was hit "caromed" off the wall. Every pitcher that threw a few nice pitches was "filthy." And so forth. Berman, though --

o I'd like to watch the home run contest. Maybe. Big maybe. Delgado has never placed well, so it's uncompelling even when it should be compelling for me. But every freaking time a ball gets hit well he starts in with the "backbackbackbackbackback" thing. Terribly annoying.

o The "MARSHALL MARSHALL MARSHALL" thing and the Ray Bolger thing... goddman, man. (For those that do not follow the NFL, Chris Berman screeches "MARSHALL MARSHALL MARSHALL" every time Marshall Faulk, Rams running back, does something good. He pierces your ear drums, trying to say it like how Jan Brady would say "Marsha"x3.) You have to admit that you'd rather a team of hardworking leeches sucked blood out through your tongue than sit through Rams highlights.

(b) How the FUCK do you have a problem with beer commercials feature hot twins????

I have no problem with twins. I hope my girlfriend has a long-lost twin, in which case I am shutting this place down, quitting my job, eliminating all distractions and focusing on getting them both at the same time. I mispoke slightly: it just seemed like there were five different ads that were in rotating for the entire draft weekend:

o The Coors Light one where the guy had the double-glasses

o The one where the football player gets knocked down and has a vision where he's surrounded by women

o The one where the guy screams out his phone number to the barfly on the other end of the restaurant

o The Dell or Compaq or whatever one where they try to get the guy who voices the Miller MGD commericals to tell you how easy setting up a computer is when someone else does it for you

o The retarded ones where the one beer pitchman is running for President of some nonsense or another.

Poor draft. Very poor.

"Horrrrrrrible." -- Bill Walton

What's your take on what the Bills did? In favor of trading next year's pick for J.P. Losman?

Da King · Post by **Da King** » Thu Apr 29, 2004 6:12 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:What's your take on what the Bills did? In favor of trading next year's pick for J.P. Losman?

Lets evaluate.

The Giants trade the #5 pick overall and next year's #1 pick for Eli Manning.

The Bills trade the #43 pick and next year's #1 pick (which will be higher than the Giants) for "JP Losman".

Yeah, somehow I think I'd rather have Eli than JP.

I dont know anything about these guys. I'm NOT a Bledsoe fan, and I dont know if this "Losman" guy is for real. I would've loved another Donahoe surprise and see him trade up to take Eli. AH well.