Solaris was fucking terrible

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Hahaha! Terrible LIKE A FOX!!

Solaris-Clooney is one of the best films I have ever seen in my entire life. How often do you watch a movie and wish it was longer? Because it was so good? Well, well, well. Solaris was, in fact, just that.

And HOORAY!! There is a version done up by some Soviet slob that IS longer. Like, two and a half hours longer! Aces!

I saw this movie based on the recommendation of Benjamin "Pinback" Parrish. You may remember our threads on other topics where we disagreed, like Grand Theft Auto III and Magnolia. Unfortunately, we agree on Solaris. So no 10 page thread will result.

Which is too bad. But Solaris really is that good.

It's just... well... there was ONE thing that I thought was someone negative about it... bah! It hardly warrants a mention! Solaris. Go watch it!

[pinback]

Perhaps you can seek out the Tarkovsky version, and then we can argue for pages and pages about which version is better.

What was the one thing which was "someone" [sic] negative?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Perhaps you can seek out the Tarkovsky version, and then we can argue for pages and pages about which version is better.

What was the one thing which was "someone" [sic] negative?

Whoops! Haha! I meant "somewhat" negative.

But no, nevermind that! The movie was excellent! A quality film!

... Most of it was, anyway!

[pinback]

See, I thought there was something somewhat negative too. Perhaps we think the same things were somewhat negative!

You go first!

ELEVEN-PAGE THREAD, HERE WE COME!!!

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

See, I thought there was something somewhat negative too. Perhaps we think the same things were somewhat negative!

You go first!

ELEVEN-PAGE THREAD, HERE WE COME!!!

Okay.

What I thought was a slight negative would be how they never really explained just why Reah went bonkers.

The fuck was up with that?

And there was a perfect opportunity for them to do that, too. There were a limited number of flashbacks that Soderbergh was going to be able to make. How they met, how she died, how he proposed to her, how they lived, blah blah. He sort of "ran out" of them at the end.

There was one thing we didn't know -- why did she go nuts? Why did she shut down?

I can't understand why the director didn't show that. But more, I can't believe he failed to show it. Because it would have been the last bit of information that he could have given the audience about that character that would have let us understand her a little better.

What was yours, pray tell?

[pinback]

What was yours, pray tell?

I didn't HAVE one!! I only said that to trick you into telling us YOURS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!! HAHHAHAHAHA!!!!

"Hahahahaha!!" - ICJ

Actually, that being said, I'm not a big fan of the black woman -- particularly, her acting, and the lines that were written for her. Particularly when you compare her with the character from the older, longer film.

But, you know how I feel about black women in general, so this is not surprising.

As for your complaint, how you can post a post decrying why a director wouldn't explain why a character would become depressed, while AIMing me in another window about how depressed you are at work, and how depressed I am while awake, is beyond me. It's like, I'm over there? And it's like, WAY beyond where I am.

[pinback]

BTW!

The older movie has the following things to recommend it to someone who has only seen the Clooney version, providing that you can deal with an unbearably long, slow (but brilliant!) movie:

1. The ending is much different, and some would say, more powerful.

2. Reah is hotter in the older movie.

3. You can go around strutting about how you made it through an entire Tarkovsky movie.

[bruce]

But, you know how I feel about black women in general, so this is not surprising.

But, Ben, I don't know how you feel about black women in general. Ben, how do you feel about black women in general?

Bruce

[Worm]

Bruce: That could of been better as a Freddy post.

[bruce]

Bruce: That could of been better as a Freddy post.

Everyone's a critic.

Bruce

[pinback]

Hey Jonze. Did you ever get a hold of the 1972 Russian version?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I thought that rather than watch the movie myself, I'd just fly to another planet because it would take less time to do that than to sit down and watch Solaris '72.

But did I mention how much I liked the remake?

[pinback]

Yes. In fact, I watched it again last night for the first time in nearly two years, and I continue to agree with your positive review.

I would pay serious money to excise the line "I want humans to win!" from the dialogue near the end, but other than that, there are few flaws and much pleasure to be derived from those 96 minutes.

The interplay between Clooney and McElhone continues to amaze me in its authenticity. When they first hold hands in the elevator, the expressions on their faces are dead-on perfect. PERFECT. Flawless. Fantastic.

Not sure about the religious overtones in the last scene. ("All that's happened is forgiven", and whatnot.)

The scenes in space are astoundingly gorgeous to look at. Many devotees of the original were disappointed that the planet is not depicted as one big ocean (as it is in the original, and in the book), but it's hard to argue that this new imagining of the planet is a wonderful thing to behold.

Also, in the future: Sleeping pills are blue, No-Dozes are red.

[pinback]

Here is a slightly amusing story from tonight, which would be called "ironic" by the mass media, because the mass media does not know what the word "ironic" means.

I was standing at my cutting board, chopping garlic for "garlic pork", a Caribbean dish which takes two days to prepare, and about a pound of garlic. Chop chop chop, went my Henckel's 8" chef knife.

For no particular reason, I flashed back to two nights previous, and the scene in Solaris where George Clooney is chopping zucchini, and then slices his fucking hand open, like a dumbass. Ha ha ha, that clumsy George Clooney.

Not 30 seconds later, I run my finger over the side of the blade to dislodge the stuck garlic, as I have hundreds -- nay, thousands -- nay, gasquillions -- of times before, and...

...and I slice my fucking hand open.

Unfortunately, this was the "beginning of Solaris" version of cutting your fucking hand open, and not the "end of Solaris" version where the wound magically disappears.

Oh. Whoops, sorry: SPOILER WARNING: THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SOLARIS SPOILERS.

But let's face it, if you were gonna see it, you already did.

Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

What I thought was a slight negative would be how they never really explained just why Reah went bonkers.

The fuck was up with that?

Did she go nuts and shut down because she aborted a child Chris wanted, and then he shut her out of his life?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

What I thought was a slight negative would be how they never really explained just why Reah went bonkers.

The fuck was up with that?

Did she go nuts and shut down because she aborted a child Chris wanted, and then he shut her out of his life?

OK, clearly that.

But why was she that way in the first place? Here's the only thing I don't like about Solaris: it's sort of relying on this belief that women are this mysterious, never-to-be-explained cosmic force that you just have to suffer and coddle. And I'm not trying to be Mr. Feminist here or anything, but in a movie it would be fantastic to see all characters, women included, with a little more depth.

In fact, that is my main objection to the genre of entertainment that is "movies": we are often supposed to care about the people on the screen because, hey, they are on the screen and in a movie. Solaris was like 99 minutes long, and while I feel it is one of my favorite movies, it could definitely have done with more "stuff" relating to Rheya and Chris.