Great Moments in Computer Programming

[AArdvark]

What make of laptop is it so I'll know to avoid getting one?

Closing lid = enabling display....whaaa?

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I enjoy Flack's line, "I used to be good at computers." I get it.

I needed more storage space so I bought an 8TB drive off Amazon. They said it would be delivered "overnight." They've never done that. There's always some problem. Three days later I just asked for a refund.

I bought another one from of those resellers on A
Amazon. This one literally beeped on boot. Refunding this one too.

At first I thought it was me until I heard the plates get stuck and the beeps. I think we are still good with computers. It's everyone else that got lazy and corrupt.

[Jizaboz]

I enjoy Flack's line, "I used to be good at computers." I get it.

You guys are seriously starting to make me worry about being over 50 in a few years.

[Tdarcos]

Those games that advertise on YouTube are offering their program in a version for the PC. Not a browser game, but an actual download. So I download their installer and it proceeds to do its business.

The game starts with a pop-up box which reads "Please confirm you have read and agree with our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy before you start the game" and an Agree button at the bottom. The words I have marked in blue are white on a dark background. The items I show in underlined orange are links to open a browser window displaying their Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions, of course, and that's the exact way it does it

The link to "Terms and Conditions" opens the page to their Privacy Policy, and the link to "Privacy Policy" opens the page to their Terms and conditions.

[Flack]

While trying to upgrade an old Windows server, the upgrade failed because "you have WinZip 6.3-80 installed."

I checked Add/Remove Programs and the Registry. I 100% do not have WinZip installed.

After an hour of troubleshooting and searching I discovered that on an attached drive that stores old backups, I had a copy of WinZip32.exe. Not installed, not being used... just sitting there about five folders deep in a directory path that begins with r:\home\backup\BBS\...

Just wanted to throw that out there. That Windows server won't upgrade if you have a copy of WinZip32.exe sitting in attached NAS storage in a random backup folder.

Oh, and Microsoft doesn't tell you the name of the file or the location. I got the name of the file from a hidden log file left behind by the installation and then had to go find the file for myself.

A+, Microsoft. A+.

[Flack]

Oh, let me add one more.

While trying to upgrade the server, I received the following message on two different locations:

"We can't tell if your PC is ready to continue installing Windows Server."

I didn't make that up. Somewhere, a programmer thought that would be helpful information.

The first time I got that error was because I didn't have enough drive space. The error could have said, "you don't have enough drive space." Instead, it said... that.

The second time I got it was because there was no direct upgrade path between the old version of Windows Server I'm running and a modern version. Could have said that, too.

[AArdvark]

Scene: A cubicle office in a large technical building in some city, we'll call it Dilberton.

Engineer 1: Hey Eddie, whatcha doing?

Engineer 2: (rapidly types code into a PC) just putting the finishing touches on the latest update.

E1: All across the whole product line?

E2: Yep. Soon as this hits, we'll be able to take full advantage of the new Nvalid chipset

E1: You mean the GeezorGak 'Gnarly Gnome'?

E2: The one and only (presses enter button) Done and done.

E1: But that's not out of Beta yet, They don't even have advance orders.

E2: And when it does hit the market we'll be ready.

E1: That's a whole new architecture. What about all the current customers with existing hardware? Everything will stop working.

E2: They'll have to upgrade.

E1: You didn't include any legacy options?

E2: Legacy, what's that?

E1 You used to work for Microsoft, didn't you

E2 (blushes slightly) Guilty

E1 So you expect all our customers to just go out and buy all new hardware to support your update?

E2: It's a consumer culture. the people love buying all new hardware.

E1: You used to work for Apple as well, didn't you

E2: How did you know? Have you been reading my resume?

E1: Just a lucky guess.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Yeah. I am not going to buy different hardware to run an OS I don't want. They'll walk the bad stuff back with Windows 12. Or they won't and whatever.