Star Trek: TMP and Star Trek II.

[pinback]

I recently watched the super-upgraded-ultra-modern 2022 version of TMP, and it is... amazing. It looks so good I can't see straight. Many of the flaws of the original have been fixed -- apparently they were sorta fixed in 2001, but now they are SUPER fixed, and just... I can't believe how great it all looks.

I mean, you can't fix some of the problems, like Persis Khambatta can't act (but apparently she can die in 1998, which I never knew), and it still makes no sense to me why Kirk is such a dick to Deckard, but what a beautiful movie, if you can stand a slow-paced slog through high concept, which I definitely can. Seeing the V'Ger ship all decked out at 4K is something to behold.

I've never loved that movie more, and I was a fan beforehand. It is now definitely at a strong #2 in my list of Star Trek movies.

So then I went back to Khan.

Of course this is the best one, and will always be. It's still the only Star Trek movie that's a good movie, instead of just a good Star Trek movie. And once the fighting starts, it's virtually flawless.

HOWEVER, I still can't believe how dumb and ridiculous some of the setup is, and fresh off my doe-eyed adoration of TMP, the errors really stand out:

1. Why is the crew of the goddamn Enterprise forced to do training drills?
2. In what timeline is the Federation so goddamn dumb that they don't realize a fucking planet exploded and OOPS they forgot to update their star charts?
3. I realize 1982 was a different time, but even back then, "16309" is a pretty weak password.

Jesus Christ is it stupid. It's still the best movie, but man, TMP is so good now, it's a tough call which one is better.

"Special/Directors Editions" are almost universally worse than the originals, but in this case, they got it right.

[AArdvark]

I never liked the polyester uniforms in TMP. I always wondered about static cling.

The red ones were much better

[pinback]

Great feedback! He said, during Friendly April!

[AArdvark]

Hey, I watched it with the sound on. That's gotta count for something.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

I got thoughts!!!!

[Tdarcos]

and it still makes no sense to me why Kirk is such a dick to Deckard, but what a beautiful movie, if you can stand a slow-paced slog

Cinema Sins does a humorous review of STTMP in which he points this out, and every time he frinds a slow spot, he increases the run time, e.g. "The slowness of this scene explains why this film is five hours long," then watches the slow "slog" as you put it, to get through the ship, "Five solid minues of this, no wonder why this movie runs over eight hours," etc.

So then I went back to Khan.

I've said this many times, ST2 TWOK is one of the finest pieces of fiction I have ever seen. It works not just as science fiction, but as fiction. Have it be steam ships on an ocean in fog, trying to escape a huge dynamite bomb and someone has to shut down a boiler spewing live steam (potentially being scalded to death like Gene Hackman in The Poseidon Adventure) to start up the engines and propeller, and it would be almost the same story. Or make it submarines, a nuclear warhead, and a nuclear reactor.

I still can't believe how dumb and ridiculous some of the setup is, and fresh off my doe-eyed adoration of TMP, the errors really stand out:

1. Why is the crew of the goddamn Enterprise forced to do training drills?

Cinema Sins points this one out.

3. I realize 1982 was a different time, but even back then, "16309" is a pretty weak password.

This presumes (1) he even knows about it, (2) knows enough to ask about it; (3) knows how to change it. After all, this is not something he needs to run the ship or go after kirk, and may have been so blinded by hatred he could think of nothing else. He would have to come to the conclusion, to ask, can this ship be activated by remote control from another ship? Then ask either how to disable it or change it.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Honestly, I would hope that 4 centuries from now we realize that nobody is every going to guess a five digit number and you might as well make it rememberable.

This is because all the DUMB FUCKS working in the realm of 2FA in our current century die horribly in the Eugenics War. They should be the first to die.

If they make a Star Trek movie about Khan killing off the people that mindlessly seal clap for 2FA, I'm fucking on his side.

[Casual Observer]

~
3. I realize 1982 was a different time, but even back then, "16309" is a pretty weak password

ST3 was worse:
.code 1 1a
Code 1 1a 2b
Code 1 1a 2b 3
Final code: 0. . . 0 . . .0 . . . DESTRUCT. . . 0

They showed voice recognition was involved but AI can fool that today so.

[AArdvark]

In space no one can hear you hack

[Flack]

The first film is a weird one that shouldn't have worked, and kind of doesn't. Gene Roddenberry (and Shatner) had been pushing for a Star Trek film since the cancellation of the series. Then Star Wars came along and every outer space script was suddenly a hot property, including Star Trek. And it's like everyone assumed that Star Wars succeeded only because of the special effects and so we end up with a Star Trek movie with some stunning effects that don't add anything to the story and really make the movie drag and Jesus do they look good in Blu-ray. Star Trek did just fine in the 60s with paper mache rocks and dudes in monster suits, and now it's a movie with a 10 minute docking scene or whatever. They ended up hiring John Dykstra, who had been the head of spfx on Star Wars (but go to ILM). I binged the original series and watched the first movie immediately after that and was surprised that the movie was essentially one of the show episodes, just remade. But yeah, it looked great.

Oh, and they infamously changed the costumes because they were blue and there were blue screens everywhere and they didn't know how to deal with that back then. Well I mean I guess they did, they changed them.

[Molly Muffsweet]

I mean, you can't fix some of the problems, like Persis Khambatta can't act (but apparently she can die in 1998, which I never knew)

At least she's got a good excuse for being so stiff now.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Molllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll-yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

/waggles finger

[April Friendship Assistant]

[AArdvark]

Somebody's BRILLIANT!

[Tdarcos]

Somebody's BRILLIANT!

Electric personality?

[AArdvark]

No, someone turned my lame attempt at humor into a meme. It made my day

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Pinback, why is Wrath of Kahn "stupid"?