[Living Document] Marketing errors.

[AArdvark]

Take on life.....in style.

Because living is such adversity. How do zombies feel about that?

[Tdarcos]

Take on life.....in style.

Because living is such adversity. How do zombies feel about that?

What do vegetarian zombies cry out cravings for?
"Grains! ...Grains.!"

One of the weirdest marketing campaigns I heard of is when an advertiser uses CGI to have a dead celebrity come back to life and shill for their product. Sometimes the image crosses into "uncanny valley" territory, and is very creepy.

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They're PANTS, not "a pant". God I hate that. "Try our awesome new PANT."

That sure is a nice PANT you're wearing there, Jim.

Christ.

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Coca-Cola describes [the new Coke flavor, "Byte"] as the first "flavor born in the metaverse," and says it "celebrates the everyday magic of pixels coming together to facilitate digital connection."

Somebody wrote this with a straight face.

(And got paid for it.)

(And still has a job.)

(And is a human being on this planet.)

[Jizaboz]

Coke Meta lolololol

.. and with Zero Sugar? Chemical (digital?) sweetness instead? Fuck that!

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"When the kids these days like something, they say it 'hits different'. Let's say EVERYTHING 'hits different'!"

[Tdarcos]

Coke Meta lolololol

.. and with Zero Sugar? Chemical (digital?) sweetness instead? Fuck that!

There is stevia, a zero-calorie sweetener that comes from the veponymous plant, that has been used in other countries for hundreds of years.

"What hind of plant is the eponymous?" Why you ignrant, uneducated fool! It means "of the same name" like when a group mreleases a record with the band's name.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Excellent work, that post hits different.

Ad guys and gals should be forced to speak to one another.

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"Baby" instead of "YOUR baby" or even "A baby". God DAMMIT is that annoying. "Get the best nutrition for BABY." "Make BABY comfortable." FUCK BABY.

[Tdarcos]

"Baby" instead of "YOUR baby" or even "A baby". God DAMMIT is that annoying. "Get the best nutrition for BABY." "Make BABY comfortable." FUCK BABY.

"No one puts Baby in a corner."
- Johnny Castle, Dirty Dancing

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Right. The only time it's proper to say BABY is when that they're name. So unless every single infant in all of these commercials is named BABY, then my complaint stands.

[Flack]

FUCK BABY.

Don't Google this.

[AArdvark]

I agree. It was always used like that on the preparation instructions on the boxes oatmeal when I was a kid and I thought it stupid

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"Oh... and she'll like it too!"

Just die already.

[AArdvark]

Was that a condom ad?

[Jizaboz]

Was that a condom ad?

No sir that would be "Nugenix TOTAL T", the leading testosterone booster!

* key Frank Thomas in a gym

A white yuppie couple walks in she points to him and asks her husband:

Wife: "Is that Frank Thomas?!"

Husband: "Yeah! The big hurt!"

Wife: "More like the big hunk!" (JEEZ! Go over there and blow him already, lady!)

Husband:

Frank then proceeds to confirm that her husband is a weakling that can't get it up enough, and he needs that TOTAL T ASAP.

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These are arguably the most annoying TV ads ever created:

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There is an ad running four times an hour on Comedy Central for "LUME" with a line over the E, pronounced "Loo-mee", and within the first fifteen seconds, an unattractive woman with her face taking up the whole screen mentions "butt cheeks" and "crotch odor".

I'm out.

[pinback]

Things have gotten so bad that there's no way I can keep up here. Subhuman sacks of garbage in "marketing" used to be a little subtle about "if you make the ad a little annoying, it'll gain more traction" but now it's clear that every ad is intentionally crafted to be as annoying as possible in every way, so picking one or two things out is pointless anymore. Using nouns as verbs, for instance, used to sneak in occasionally as a micro-aggression, but now it is rare that an ad does NOT use a noun as a verb. Etc.

But there is one really subtle one that has popped up and taken over that I bet most people don't notice. But I'm LASER-FOCUSED on ad annoyances, so here's #1 on my current hit list. Listen for it:

Women doing the voiceover, talking through smiles. You can tell these broads are smiling in real life when they spout the pointless blathering nonsense they're reading off the script. Nobody should be that excited about some off-brand half-priced purse or whatever the fuck.

It's outrageous and it needs to stop now. (It will not stop, ever.)

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Take on life.....in style.

Because living is such adversity. How do zombies feel about that?

What do vegetarian zombies cry out cravings for?
"Grains! ...Grains.!"

One of the weirdest marketing campaigns I heard of is when an advertiser uses CGI to have a dead celebrity come back to life and shill for their product. Sometimes the image crosses into "uncanny valley" territory, and is very creepy.

You did good work here.