Daredevil: *whafuck*?

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 9:31 pm

So, yeah. I just got through watching Daredevil. Someday soon, I will actually write up a full-on review of the movie, complete with highly-hilarious yet utterly irrelivant romps into nowhere. But in the meantime, I'm going to put my barely coherent thoughts about it down now.
...Or, in a few minutes.
Ahem.

vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas vegas.
Thank you.
And now--VEGAS!--I will get to my thoughts on the movie.

I want to talk more about the things I didn't like about it, so I will start with the stuff I *did* like about it.

The bad guys were very, very well done. I especially liked Colin Feore or whatever his goddamn name is, because I saw him in _STORM OF THE CENTURY_, a Stephen King miniseries you will never, ever see, and he was very good. So I'm glad that he's been "discovered". Yes, on the whole, I'd say that the acting in the film was pretty good. And, well, goddammit, so were the special effects

What pissed me off about the movie, however, was the way blindness was portrayed in the movie. Okay, so he got chemicals spilled on him, and he gets blinded. Okay. Fair enough. I can see that. But jesus *christ*, that doesn't automatically make you Keano fucking Rieves. I mean, I may be on crack here, but when's the last time that you could *fly* after getting a chemical burn? And I'm thinking *literally* here, not figuratively. I guess you're supposed to believe that the chemical burns gave him The Power (TM) to:
-fly
-punch three times faster than normal
-become really, REALLY smooth
-get bat-like *sonar*.
I mean, let's be real here. There's no other way that he could do *half* the shit he does unless the chemicals gave him wildly-discordant powers. Including, yes, sonar. Because other than that, there is no fucking way in the world that he's gonna paint a perfect mental picture of someone thanks to *running water*. I mean, come the fuck *on*. So, let's say that the acid or mysterious chemical x (TM) or whatever the hell he got splashed with gave him wild and discordant powers (TM). Strange, I seem to remember the last person who got splashed with acid turned into a duel-personalitied psychopath obsessed on the number 2 calling himself two-face. Awfully twitchy things, these mysterious chemical x (TM)s. So, is the moral I'm supposed to take away from this movie "if you get splashed by mysterious chemical X (TM), you'll go blind, *buuuut* you'll get Incredible Chi Powerz and bat-like sonar! So have at it! Have fun, kiddies! Weeheehee!"?

ORGANIZATION & STRUCTURE · Thu Aug 14, 2003 11:27 pm

YOU'RE KILLING ME

Lysander · Post by **Lysander** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 11:45 am

ORGANIZATION & STRUCTURE wrote:YOU'RE KILLING ME

Good. Fucker owed me ten bucks. Bitch.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 4:43 am

You're right about all the wires, of course. I really didn't like their extensive use.

Ice Cream Jonsey · Post by **Ice Cream Jonsey** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 2:22 pm

Here's a quote from the director that I found today.

Mark Stephen Johnson wrote: "I agonized over that, and I thought that if Daredevil doesn't kill him, then he's Batman, and every other superhero. If he stands there and lets the guy get cut in half, then that's something I haven't seen before," Johnson said. "Every time I could, I would try to do something different. Could the audience root for a guy that isn't even sure if he's a good guy or a bad guy?"

Yeah. This guy was a big Daredevil fan all right. Maybe the reason you hadn't seen it before was because it was completely out of character for every single depiction of the character. Jesus.

Street Fighter cast · Post by **Street Fighter cast** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 5:49 pm

Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:Yeah. This guy was a big Daredevil fan all right. Maybe the reason you hadn't seen it before was because it was completely out of character for every single depiction of the character. Jesus.

Oh, please. Stop your goddamn whining, Jonsey. Ken became a womanizing idiot, Balrog became a professional wrestler, Guile became a bloody *frenchie*, Ryu became *American*, and Chun-Li became a reporter with subpar legs. Our movie was the most utterly dispicable movie on the face of the planet. But do you hear *us* complaining about it? No! So just *shut the fuck up*! We're dangerous people! We're *this* *fucking* *close* to snapping and *taking over* this miserable excuse for an internet, Jonsey, so don't fucking push us. DO YOU HEAR ME?!?

AArdvark · Post by **AArdvark** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 9:19 pm

Cross between Spiderman and Batman, I'd say. The result effect bringing the integrity of bothe those films down by putting them in the same breathas DD.

Ok, so he trained a lot. I seen him jumping hundreds of feet through the air then go relax in a nice quiet bath with his MENTAL DISORDER medication. Wait till Iron Man shows up with his drinking problems....

THE
LETS MAKE MOVIES
OUT OF ALL THE
CARE BEARS COMIX NEXT

jethro tull · Post by **jethro tull** » Sat Aug 16, 2003 9:27 pm

AArdvark wrote:
THE
LETS MAKE MOVIES
OUT OF ALL THE
CARE BEARS COMIX NEXT

they already made cartoon movies about this series. would you have them do computer animated versions like the new transformers ones? or how about live action movies with the care bears seeming real using CGI?

Great Idea.

Cheers,

Daredevil: whafuck?

Daredevil: whafuck?