To: Jana

[pinback]

Hi Jana. Just a little note to tell you I enjoyed meeting you tonight. I relish the thought of going onto JC BBS and letting all my friends know that I didn't totally tank with you, and that I was able to keep a conversation going for an entire hour and a half without any noticeable lulls, using my conversational technique called, "Let you talk all the time."

It's obvious that it's probably not happening between us, but I also think it's helpful (for me at least) to note that it wasn't because you think you're better than me, or *I* think you're better than me, it's just, we're two, too different people. You seem very nice, and I enjoyed our time together, and I'll always chalk you up in the "good people" column, as I'd hope you'd do for me, and maybe we can be buds, and bike together or have lunch or something, that'd be great. But romance? I'm thinking probably not. But no hard feelings, huh? It was really great meeting you.

Oh, one other thing, while I've got your attention. You are one of the most stunning creatures I've ever been within twenty feet of, and are definitely the most mind-exploding chick I've ever had dinner with, alone. Those few quick lulls you experienced? That was my mind running away on the following tangent: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT. CHECK OUT WHO IS SITTING HERE TALKING TO ME."

Oh my God.

Wait till the JC guys hear about this. Hey, JC guys, if you're reading this? Take that picture I showed you and multiply it by about a zillion, babe-quality-wise. Oh my GOD.

So I guess I knew after the first three minutes that we two were doomed, Jana, because holy fucking christ on a popsicle stick. Would you be terribly offended if I drove back to the restaurant we were at and sniffed the naugahide in the booth you were sitting on? Because that's probably as close as I'm going to get to being with a woman of your absurd pulchritudinousness. I know that's not a word, bitch. There ain't no blood going to my brain, fer chrissakes. Cut me a little slack.

WOW. Wow.

Hey, JC guys, if you're still with me? Dudes, you shoulda seen it. Just the picture of me and this chick sitting at a table chatting... I would frame it and then lick it. Then I would pass it around and you would lick it too. You wouldn't even wipe it off ahead of time.

Holy lord almighty.

Sincerely,

Ben

[Jack Straw]

It's obvious that it's probably not happening between us, but I also think it's helpful (for me at least) to note that it wasn't because you think you're better than me, or *I* think you're better than me, it's just, we're two, too different people.

HOMOSEX & HETEROSEX, OMG DILEMMA!!!

Get over with it already, sweet muffins!! LOL

[pinback]

I don't understand the above post. And even if I did, I doubt it would be funny.

Banned.

[Lex]

I would wipe it off.

[pinback]

Where, on her face? BAHAHAHAhhhaha.

[Ice Cream Jonsey]

Er... congrats?

So what's the deal, you figure it can't work because she's too good looking for you?

We've got a lot of work to do this weekend regarding the mindset of Benjamin "Pinback" Parrish.

[pinback]

No, that's not it at all. You have misunderstood my post. That's precisely NOT why it's not going to work, which made me feel very good about it. The reason it's not going to work is much simpler, that being, hey, sometimes two people have a spark together, sometimes they don't.

[James Bond]

So, Pinback? Tell us: does she like interactive fiction? Does she like Mystery Science Theater 3000? Does she like acting? Does she like fighting games? Does she like writing and good reading? If the answer is "yes" or "if I knew what they were, than yes" to all of the above, or "hell yes" to any of the above, well... could you give me her MSN screen name or something? Please?

[Worm]

Bond, why don't you head over to the onion personals or something? I even noticed some girls my age on there out of curiosity.