The Date.

[pinback]

I wrote this to Clash, but thought it was TEH CONTENT-worthy over here, so enjoy:

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I get there (Hal's), 10:30. She's not there, of course, because apparently in Czechoslovakia it's considered polite to do everything ten minutes later than you say you're going to do. Anyway, I was worried that I might not recognize her -- you know, sometimes them MM photos don't tell the whole story. That's also true in Jana's case, but from a half-block away, I saw her, and gave her a little wave, she gave a little smile, things are going good.

She approaches. I say "Heeey," and move in for a little "nice to meet you" hug, at which point she juts out her hand and says, "Hi, I'm Jana." Ohhhkay, I quickly switch gears and give her the handshake she seemed so keen on receiving. That shook me up a little, because I was prepared to be kinda romantic, but now it feels like a job interview. Oh well, no matter. We go in, and grab a quiet table for two over in the corner. Except it's not quiet, because they're blasting music over the PA at 1000dB. Can't have everything, I guess. Nice place, though.

Waiter comes around for cocktails. She orders a Red Bull, which throws the guy, because they don't have it, but he retorts, "We do have a FULL BAR." Finally she settles on a glass of Pinot Grigio. Heiny for your boy. The guy also brings water, to which she responds, "I'd like water with no ice, please." Then we order a bite to eat: Small pizza for her, Caesar salad for me (because Citysearch said they had one of the best Caesars in the city -- and, not bad at all, actually!)

At this point, with the handshake, and the ice with no water, I'm already loosening up, because I'm already thinking, "Well, this ain't happening anyway, so what the hell." I go instantly into "get her talking about herself" mode, and thankfully, she was more than willing to indulge me. Her job, sports she likes, Prague, all that stuff. Jana, BTW? She has eighteen million friends in every corner of the globe. I've never met someone who, if you went to the Census Bureau, and picked a human being at random, there were so high odds that they were a friend of hers. And, unless I got this wrong, at least 40 or 50 of them are her "best" friends. Now me, I keep a close circle of real good friends, and the rest of y'all can go to hell. I know now, for sure, that this is a Different Kind of Person I've got sitting here. There's a lot to admire in how she approaches people, and life, I will give you that. I did find myself feeling quite a bit of admiration. She's an impressive gal, no lie.

She squeaks in a question about MY job, which I answer with whatever charm and wit I could muster (though, given the fact that I could just tell that if I were to do my "funny" bit 100%, she wouldn't get it, I wasn't as "on" as you probably would have liked), but quickly got the conversation back to her.

This went on for about an hour and a half, at which point we were both fading, and she obviously was not going to go for that second glass of wine, so I wrapped things up by grabbing the check (apparently in Czechoslovakia, you also do not thank the person who's paying for the meal) and getting the remainder of my Caesar salad boxed up. I paid with my "Cessna" credit card, which prompted me to sort of force the whole "pilot" thing into the conversation. In terms of smoothness, this was my only really blatant error, but I mean, I didn't really get a chance to show off any of my particular talents and skills during the conversation, so I thought I needed to get at least one in, just on principle. No matter.

We got up, strolled outside, I walked her to her car, told her what a lovely time I had meeting her, and lunged in for that hug that I was denied earlier. I also said, "Hey, and when I get back from my trip, let's do that lunch we talked about!" to which she responded "Yeah!" with a smile, but I'll take a "wait-and-see" attitude about all this at this point.

Let's wrap up with some grades, shall we?

Date (Overall): C minus. Certainly not unpleasant, and the conversation was, if not earth-shattering, at least comfortable and easy. Too loud in there, too short (since we were both exhausted), and most importantly, there didn't appear to be a "spark" which would foretell any romance. Not a BAD time, just kinda... Eh.

Ben: B minus. I was not the "wacky, silly, fun-lovin'" Ben that the girls can't help but fall for, just because she doesn't really seem like the wacky, silly, fun-lovin' type. However, I did keep the conversation going, and I don't think made any real major faux-pas. Faux-paus. Whatever.

Effect: B plus. Even though nothing really special happened, this was a BIG boost in confidence for me, just because it proved that I could be out with a pretty lady I'd never met before, and at least not make a complete idiot out of myself. I left, although slightly disappointed that I had not found True Love, quite happy about the overall psychological result it had for me. This was good. This was the first date of the rest of my life.

Ah. "Pretty lady", I mentioned up there. I should mention that.

What makes the fact that I kept my cool and stayed pretty strong throughout the evening all the more impressive is this: Jana, from Czechoslovakia, is one of the most stunningly gorgeous creatures I have ever seen. Any quick lulls in the conversation that might have happened were probably as a result of my mind leaving the conversational thread to just start thinking: "Holy CHRIST! Look who is sitting here talking to ME! Man, I wish Larry could see this." Those pictures do not even remotely do her justice. WOW. Wow. Dude. Wow. Seriously.

So, anyway, then it was back to my apartment, where I yapped it up with April for another hour and a half. Finally turned in around 2:30, after one last shot of tequila.

Moving a little slow today? Sure, sure. I'd say so.

[Roody_Yogurt]

Wow, congrats man. Good stuff.

[stupid asshole]

Wouldn't it be funny if, like, after Pinback went home from this date he had with this chick, he went home and started banging Shortcake again? Wouldn't that be funny? Wouldn't it be ironic? Hey!