by pinback » Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:53 pm
Also Battleship was just fine. Loud and stupid for the most part, yes, but there is a brilliance or two (or more) here:
1. The way the aliens turn it into a 5 on 5 fight (err, 4 on 3) as per the boardgame.
2. The way the jap dude uses the tsunami buoy system to track the bad guys on an alphanumeric grid, leading to the most spectacular sequence of "E...11? Miss!" that even the most inventive youngster could have conceived.
3. Most people don't get the movie, I think? Liam Neeson doesn't say "they sunk my battleship!" because there's only one battleship in the movie, and it doesn't get sunk, and that's the whole point. I would imagine that some kids actually LEARNED something from this movie, that being that battleships have long since been replaced by destroyers and carriers as the preferred vessels for naval warfare. So no, you're not watching "battleships fighting aliens". You just learned something, aw shit.
4. Retro, your heart has fucking died if you didn't enjoy them firing up BIG MO, even if it was completely ridiculous and you knew it was coming from the opening credits. It's a MOVIE for fucks sake.
5. And you'd destroy a 7-11 trying to get Brooklyn Decker a chicken burrito too.
Anyway, Battleship is gre-- is it great? Probably not. Parts are impossible to not enjoy unless you came into the theater or popped in the DVD ironically, ready to show all your buddies how much smarter and better you are than everyone else. Retro. You loser.
Fuck you. Battleship is great.
Also Battleship was just fine. Loud and stupid for the most part, yes, but there is a brilliance or two (or more) here:
1. The way the aliens turn it into a 5 on 5 fight (err, 4 on 3) as per the boardgame.
2. The way the jap dude uses the tsunami buoy system to track the bad guys on an alphanumeric grid, leading to the most spectacular sequence of "E...11? Miss!" that even the most inventive youngster could have conceived.
3. Most people don't get the movie, I think? Liam Neeson doesn't say "they sunk my battleship!" because there's only one battleship in the movie, and it doesn't get sunk, and that's the whole point. I would imagine that some kids actually LEARNED something from this movie, that being that battleships have long since been replaced by destroyers and carriers as the preferred vessels for naval warfare. So no, you're not watching "battleships fighting aliens". You just learned something, aw shit.
4. Retro, your heart has fucking died if you didn't enjoy them firing up BIG MO, even if it was completely ridiculous and you knew it was coming from the opening credits. It's a MOVIE for fucks sake.
5. And you'd destroy a 7-11 trying to get Brooklyn Decker a chicken burrito too.
Anyway, Battleship is gre-- is it great? Probably not. Parts are impossible to not enjoy unless you came into the theater or popped in the DVD ironically, ready to show all your buddies how much smarter and better you are than everyone else. Retro. You loser.
Fuck you. Battleship is great.